Watch it Burn
by Haitus80
Summary: After Grady the group moves on. No one is sure where they are going or what they will find when they get there but it turns into one hell of a journey. Revelations lead to rivalry within the group and when another tragedy strikes they have to find a way to pick up the pieces and keep going. That's easier said than done for some. Caryl
1. Chapter 1

**I wasn't planning on posting for this story quite yet but since I wrapped up Black Moon Blues, I guess there is no reason not to. Hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading =)**

**Chapter One**

The road was long and paved in blood, tears, and the occasional corpse. Scattered like refuse on the shoulder of that road were broken pieces of hope, shards of glass, dreams of escape long dead. The sky was gray. The mood was gray. Life as a whole? Gray. The only sounds were the quiet crippling sounds of mourning and the wet slap of boots hitting pavement. On occasion, someone shifted their weapon, the metallic noise felt intrusive to the otherwise rhythmic cacophony of a silent group weighed down by the shock of what had happened.

Daryl didn't feel much of anything. Just a cold numbness that seemed to have seeped into his bones. There was no reason to pay attention to where they were going or how long they had been walking. There wasn't anywhere to go. He did manage to keep his eye out for walkers and to make sure none of their group strayed away. Glenn and Maggie were bringing up the rear and Daryl didn't envy the other man. Maggie had been certain she was going to be leaving that hospital with her sister. In all reality, she did, but she hadn't been counting on leaving with a body to bury. He wasn't sure if Maggie was going to be okay after this. He wasn't sure if any of them were going to be okay. Not anymore.

He thought of his own brother. He thought of the hole that the loss of Merle had left him with. He thought about Andrea and her sister. He thought about Lori and T-dog. Mostly his mind drifted to Sophia. He had let it happen all over again. Another girl lost because he couldn't save her. Why did he keep trying? This time was different than the other times though. This time they had been so close to getting her back. She was right there, unlike Sophia, who had already been gone for a while when they discovered her. Not like Merle. Not even like Andrea, who had ended it herself because of a bite. Beth was very much alive and only a few feet away from safety and then she was just... gone. This time was different because they had all thought she would be walking out with the rest of them.

He glanced back, making sure Maggie and Glenn weren't too far behind. He noticed that Tara and Rosita stayed close to them. Maggie was leaning heavily on Glenn, an occasional sob reaching his ears. He tried to tune it out. He tried to force his own tears to stop flowing. What good did crying do anymore? He faced forward once more, not wanting to look at Maggie, knowing he had failed her. Tyreese was in front of him, supporting most of Carol's weight. She was in bad shape but she was alive and that's what mattered. If he had lost her too then he was pretty sure that he wouldn't have left that hospital alive. Her words came back to him, floating through his mind and causing him to stumble. He had told her that they weren't ashes. And he had lied.

Thunder in the distance promised more misery was on its way. They weren't too far from another road and he could only hope that there was shelter there. The Gods must have seen it fit to give them a small break because they came upon a driveway before the road had even came into view. The house looked small but sturdy and the windows were still boarded and intact so that was a plus.

They methodically did a sweep of the house and the barn, no one saying a word. It was almost like the early days, before they had really gotten used to this world. Back before the prison. There was never much time for conversation. There was only time to run and rest when you could. He hadn't missed that and he wasn't looking forward to living like that again. Especially with Judith to worry about.

He found a small room on the second floor and he put his back to the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on his ass on the carpet. He needed to pull himself together. He needed to get with Rick and hash out plans for their next move. There were a lot of things that he could have done but he didn't make a move to do any of them. He simply sat there and tried to sort his thoughts. Losing someone was never easy. Losing someone that had never even had the chance to really live was even harder. There was something about someone so young not making it that left him feeling almost lost. Carl, Judith, Beth, they were a symbol of hope for the group. For the future.

He looked up at the sounds of footsteps coming towards the open doorway. Rick stepped into the room. His face was haggard, pained. "Abe and Rosita are taking watch so we can get some rest. We found some canned goods in the basement."

Daryl nodded but didn't make a move to get up. Rick walked away without another word, knowing that there was nothing else to be said. He had sat for so long that his body ached. There were no sounds to be heard other than the pattering of rain on the windows and the occasional clap of thunder. If any walkers had picked up their scent earlier they would have lost it by now. They were relatively safe for the moment. He didn't let this thought comfort him. There was no point. They were safe for the next day or so but they would be in danger again soon enough. It was inevitable. That's what their life was now. Small reprieves from the nightmares that were waiting behind every corner.

He stood up after a few more minutes, groaning as he tried to stretch the kinks out of his back. It was no use. He was getting too damn old for this. The hallway was dim but there was a soft light coming from the crack in the bottom of the door at the end of the hall. He followed the light and stopped outside of the door. He heard voices talking low. He was about to move on until he realized one of the voices was Carol. He hadn't even checked up on her. The other voice, he now knew, was Rick's. When he opened the door he saw that the room was lit by a few candles on a nightstand and the smell of something sweet assaulted his nose. It smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and seemed very out of place.

Rick was there on the bed, his body turned so it was facing hers. She was in his arms, her forehead resting on his shoulder as his hands moved up and down her back. The scene before him was so intimate that he almost stepped back out of the room. Almost, because when he commanded his legs to move, they wouldn't obey.

Rick turned his head, his lips grazing Carol's temple. "We'll get through this, just like we've gotten through everything else." He said, his voice soothing and low.

Daryl envied him then. Envied him more than he had ever envied anyone in his whole life. Why couldn't he have been the one to comfort her? Why did he have to close himself off like he did? He wasn't even able to offer Maggie any words when he had brought her her sister's body.

Carol tightened her hold around Rick's neck. "Will we? When will we get to stop getting through things, Rick?"

Rick closed his eyes. "I don't know, but you're here now. What happened today was bad but it could have been a lot worse. We could have lost you both."

Daryl watched as Carol pulled back, her face streaked with tears and her eyes filled with anguish. "Beth never hurt anyone. If either of us should have left with the rest of you today, it should have been her. I'm tired. I'm tired of the pain and I'm tired of the running. I don' have anything left to give, but she did."

The words cut Daryl like a knife. What was she talking about? She was the strongest person he knew but from the sounds of it, she was one step away from giving up. Rick pulled back slightly and cupped her cheek in one hand, their faces were only inches apart and for one terrifying moment, Daryl was certain that Rick was going to kiss her.

"Everything alright?" Daryl asked suddenly. He didn't know why he felt the need to interrupt the moment. He just knew he had too. He couldn't stand there and watch Rick kiss Carol.

Rick dropped his hand and looked up sharply. He seemed a little dazed but he cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah, we're fine. Or we will be."

The use of the word "we" sent a stab of anger up Daryl's spine that had him more confused than ever. It was like Rick was speaking like him and Carol were already some kind of unit. They weren't a unit. They would never be a unit. Would they? And what business of it of his if they were? "I'll be downstairs then, if she needs anything." What was that tone he just used? A tone that had Carol and Rick both looking up at him questioningly.

Rick met his eyes and he studied Daryl for a few long seconds and then the look turned knowing. Something must have occurred to him then and he shook his head. "No, I need to go check on Carl and Judith. Michonne has been on baby duty long enough. You two have been through a lot. Stay with her." He stood up quickly, glancing down at Carol with a look akin to longing in his eyes. Daryl tensed without knowing why.

Rick clapped a hand on his shoulder, meeting his eyes again and then the barest hint of a smile graced his lips. Daryl wasn't sure if he should stay in the room with her. His head wasn't cooperating with him and his emotions were everywhere. He didn't cope well in situations like this. He flinched as a memory came to the surface of his mind. One he never liked to think about. Carol coming to him on the farm after Sophia had been buried. She had only come to him because she had been worried about him. She had wanted to offer him some kind of comfort even though her own pain had to have been much worse than his. He had taken her kindness and thrown it back in her face. He hadn't touched her but he had hurt her immensely with his words. He had lashed out at her, he had abused her emotions and mocked her, he had...

"Daryl?" Her voice was just a tortured whisper and she stood up unsteadily. "I'm so sorry."

She didn't need to be on her feet. By the time they had reached the house Tyreese was practically carrying her. Before she could take a step he was there. Like the day they had found her out in the woods her arms went around his neck and he hugged her close, emotion threatening to choke him again. Beth was gone but Carol was safe. He needed to focus on that. It didn't alleviate the pain of their loss but it helped with thoughts of any kind of future. Whatever happened, he would have her. She wasn't slipping away again.

"If I hadn't been so stupid. If we would have went in there together we could have gotten her out," she whispered.

He shook his head and loosened his hold on her, remembering that she had gotten hit by a car and wasn't completely out of the woods yet. It wasn't only that though. He needed to put a little distance between them because there was a voice in his head screaming for him to do the opposite. That voice wanted him to pull her tighter against him and tell her that he was sorry that Tyreese was the one that had been there for her and not him. Tell her he was sorry that it was Rick that came into the room to grieve with her and not him.

He dropped his hands to his sides and stepped away. "This wasn't your fault. None of it. Beth... she shouldn't have done what she did. That wasn't your fault."

She shook her head and looked at the floor.

"You need to go back to bed, Carol. Last thing any of us need is for you to over do it. We need you around here." _I need you around here_.

"Are you sure you're okay? I know how bad you wanted to bring her back," she said as she sat down stiffly on the edge of the bed.

He nodded. "I'll be fine. I'm gonna go. Been moping around long enough. We need to get this place secure. I'm gonna tell Rick we need to stay a few days, give you time to heal up."

She nodded. "He already said he's planning on boarding up the rest of the windows so we can stay as long as we need too."

"'Course he did," Daryl said with a bite to his tone. He didn't know where it came from either and it disturbed him. Rick was the person he was closest too, second to Carol. He didn't know what was causing this hostility he was feeling. Maybe it was just him needing to lash out at someone. He should have been thankful that it wasn't Carol he was angry at. "Rest up, alright. Don't worry about me."

She smiled softly, the candlelight catching the tears in her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Glad some of you like this so far. I just want to make it clear that even though I can't stand Rick, and probably never will, I respect the fact that him and Daryl are close. I wouldn't ruin the friendship they have over a woman. Not even ****_this_**** woman. I'm simply trying my hand at something a little different. Anyway, thanks for reading. **

**Chapter Two**

Daryl, Rick and Tyreese left out on the third day. It was still raining off and on but the food was gone and Daryl had had no luck hunting. He hadn't wanted to leave but that was the way it was now. Half the things a man had to do anymore were things he didn't want to do. It seemed like he had to stand in line just to talk to Carol before they left out. Her and Rick spent a lot of time together in the room that was designated for her. When Rick wasn't with her Tyreese was. He didn't mind much. As long as she was healing, and it was clear that she was.

Rick had caught her in the kitchen the day before, doing nothing but standing at the window, looking out of the crack in the wood they had used to board it up. Rick had demanded she go back and rest and wouldn't listen when she tried to argue. Finally she got sick of his constant bitching and went upstairs.

"Maggie seems to be doing a little better," Rick said as they made their way towards the small town Rick had noticed on the map they had found at the house.

Tyreese nodded. "She's had it worse than some of us. She watched her father die like that, now her sister's gone. She has a lot of healing to do."

Rick agreed. "We all do."

Daryl kept quiet but the other men didn't mention it. They were used to it. He never had been one to need to fill in silence with mindless chatter. They kept walking for a while before Tyreese spoke again.

"Carol's making some progress," Tyreese said, his eyes searching the horizon.

Rick nodded. "Carol's strong. She'll be good as new in no time."

Daryl ground his teeth together, suddenly wishing the two men would just shut the fuck up. If the two of them wanted to have themselves a Carol pep rally then they could do it on their own damn time. They didn't have to do it now.

Rick spoke up. "You never mentioned exactly what happened when the two of you went off to find Beth. Only that she'd been hit by that car."

Daryl slid his eyes over to his friend. "Cause nothin' happened."

Rick ran a hand through his hair.

"How did the two of you find a ride so fast after you spotted the car from Grady?" Tyreese asked. It was clear that the two men were just trying for small talk but it was getting on Daryl's nerves.

"She had a car all packed and ready to go when I found her. She was leavin' the group. I stopped her, then that car drove by. We just left."

Rick stopped, putting a hand on Daryl's arm. "Wait, she was leaving? Why would she do that? We had just decided to go to D.C."

Daryl shrugged. "You tell me. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable stayin' with a group that tossed her out like yesterdays trash."

Rick flinched. "We've talked about that."

Daryl started walking again, giving Rick no choice but to follow. "Yeah, I bet you have," he muttered darkly.

"Why would you bring that up now?" Rick asked, not letting it go.

Daryl glanced back at him. "It might seem like it's been a while but you forced her away from her home just a few weeks ago. It ain't like she's had a lot of time to process everything that's happened. I'm just sayin', I'm the one that kept her from takin' off in the first place. You had no idea she'd even been thinkin' about leavin'. If you're that concerned you might want to be a little more observant." Rick and Tyreese were both staring at him like he had two heads. He snorted in disgust.

"Daryl, I thought _we _were past that?" Rick said gruffly.

Daryl shrugged. "You're past it. That's what you do. You fuck shit up and then you get past it. Everybody else just picks up the pieces and tries to go on."

He was pissing Rick off and he knew it. The odd thing was, he didn't care. He wanted the other man mad and he didn't even know why. Rick grabbed his arm to stop him and Daryl jerked away, spinning around to face him.

"Look, Daryl. I don't know what's going on in that head of yours but I'm not the bad guy here. What I did to Carol, I know it was wrong and I've told her that a hundred times. What happened with Beth wasn't my fault. Carol getting hurt wasn't my fault."

"What are you sayin', Rick? That it was my fault?" Daryl asked, teeth clenched as he stepped into Rick's space.

Tyreese put his hands up. "Maybe we should just all calm down and get this done."

Daryl was glaring. "I asked you a question."

Rick shook his head. "I didn't say it was your fault. It was nobodies damn fault. Where the hell is this coming from?"

Daryl gave him one last withering look and turned his back on Rick, walking towards their destination with new purpose. He wanted to get the hell away from them. All of them. They eventually found a car that had a quarter of a tank of gas in it. The transmission missed and the breaks were bad and Daryl was pretty sure it had some bad gas in it but after sitting there for two years, they were lucky the battery had any cells left in it. Getting to the town after that was a piece of cake.

"Looks pretty good. We'll be able to find something here," Rick said as his eyes scanned the street.

Daryl and Rick seemed to see the sign at the same time. Daryl pointed. "There's a drugstore down there. We should get some pain killers for Carol. We can stock up if the place hasn't been ransacked."

Rick nodded. "That's a good idea. She's got bruises all over. Her ribs, her back, her legs. She's black and blue. Not only that, we need to keep a supply of meds on hand. I don't want an outbreak like we had at the prison."

Daryl scowled and, once again, spoke without thinking. "How the hell would you know that she's covered in bruises?"

Rick shrugged. "I helped her re-wrap her bandages. She's got cracked ribs. Kind of hard not to see," he said absently, his eyes scanning the other buildings as they moved forward cautiously.

Daryl made a face. That explained why he'd seen the bruises on her back and her ribs but what about her legs. What the hell were the two of them doing in that room while the rest of the house mourned a dead girl? "I'll go to the pharmacy. You two hit the grocery store," he said, not waiting for them to argue with him.

There weren't too many walkers as far as he could tell. The ones that did come at him were easy to kill. He went ahead and let them get close enough so he could use the knife, for some reason wanting each kill to be a little more personal. When had it gotten to the point where killing walkers became therapeutic for him? When he finally made it to the pharmacy he was sad to see that the glass was busted out. It was rare that they came upon a town that hadn't been ransacked already but he had held out a little hope. He went inside anyway, scanning the isles for any sign of walkers. The place was clean except for a few long dead walkers.

He started shoving whatever he thought would come in handy in his bag before he made his way behind the counter to whatever of the good stuff may be left. He lucked up and even found a few toys for Judith. He didn't think there would be much to find behind the counter but he checked anyway. There were a few things that would come in handy but there wasn't a lot. He loaded up the bags as fast as he could, ready to get back to the house. He wasn't too excited about getting back to the people at the moment. He wanted some time to himself, but he could always just go out to the barn and collect his thoughts.

He was just about to walk out the door when he spotted them. A herd. A very large herd, walking past the store. The bastards had come out of nowhere and if one of them caught his scent, it was over. He didn't think that there was a way out but through the front doors. He didn't know if Tyreese and Rick had spotted them yet. All he could do was hope they found somewhere to hole up before the walkers spotted them. It was stupid of him to split from them. Especially since he only suggested it because he felt like being a dick.

He backed away from the door and the windows, careful not to do something stupid, like trip over something and make a bunch of noise. Unfortunately a few of them slowed outside of the broken door. He watched as they turned slowly, sniffing the air like some sort of animal before bumping against the door. A few more followed suit and then he watched in horror as the remainder of the glass gave way and they fell into the store. There were others now, climbing over the ones on the ground, teeth snapping at the air. He glanced around, pulling his knife free as he back up.

This was it. There was no where for him to go now. He had always wondered what would take him out. A walker or a psycho. When the first one reached him he killed it easily with the knife but there was another there to take it's place. He was still backing up when he hit the counter with a thud. His heart was pounding hard as he scrambled onto the counter. Once he was standing on top of it he kicked one of the walkers in the head so hard that the skull split in two and it fell to the floor. He didn't waste too much time with them. He jumped down onto the other side, knowing that it wouldn't take them long to climb over. Around the corner, heading towards the back was an exit sign.

He cursed himself out loud for not noticing the sign before but he hadn't really been himself lately. He was sloppy and it was about to get him killed. He rushed to the door and threw himself against it, only to fall on his ass when he bounced off of it. He got up quickly, glancing over his shoulder but the dumb bastards hadn't figured out how to get over the counter yet. He tried the door again but it was stuck. He knew then that it was most likely chained from the outside. He silently cursed what ever asshole had thought to do that.

There was one more door that was labeled restroom so he went for it, closing and locking it behind him. The door was in good shape and the lock was sturdy but he could hear it creak in protest as the mass of bodies pushed against it. He had really gotten himself in a bind this time. He was trapped in a small room with no way out and a hundred bodies pushing on a door that probably wasn't going to hold much longer.

As he backed up against the far wall a few startling things occurred to him. One: He had wasted a good portion of his life simply going through the motions without actually doing any real living. Two: He was going to die today, in Bum Fucked Egypt Georgia, in a fucking bathroom. And three: He was jealous of Rick Grimes. Now it was the end and he had been to much of a chicken shit pussy to tell Carol Peletier that he loved her.

It was number three that had him sputtering, trying to argue with himself that he was delusional from the fear of getting eaten alive. He didn't understand things like that. He didn't know how to feel that way towards a woman. He didn't have any idea what the hell he was thinking. And he was a goddamned liar, even to himself.

A sliver of light cut across the wall as the door started to splinter under the mass of bodies. He pulled out his lighter in one last ditch effort to find a suitable weapon that could get him out of this mess. There was a sink, a toilet, a tampon dispenser and a trash can. Rolling his eyes towards the ceiling he looked back down at the trash can one more time and grinned like a maniac.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you all are having a great weekend! Here is another chapter for those of you that are homebodies like me, regardless of what day of the week it is! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Three**

She stood at the door, her arms crossed over her chest and a frown etched between her brow. She looked behind her but for once the living room was empty so she slipped out the front door. Glenn and Carl had been watching her like a hawk ever since Daryl, Rick and Tyreese left. She felt like she hadn't had a moment to herself since leaving Grady. All she really wanted was a moment to just think. Just a few seconds to be alone.

She slipped out the door and took a deep breath, bringing as much air as she could into her lungs before the pain in her ribs robbed her of this small pleasure. She felt better now. More than better. She was ready to get back on the road, even though she knew that they had no real destination now. It was too dangerous to try to stay in one spot now days. Being on the road wasn't very fun but it was better than being trapped like a rat inside.

She leaned on the railing, looking out at the rain, telling herself that leaving on her own was a death sentence. She still wanted to go. She still didn't feel right being with the others. Tyreese was a wonderful man and a great friend to her but looking at him, knowing the pain she had caused him, hurt her. He forgave her and for that she was grateful but she still couldn't stand to look him in the eye. Rick had apologized until he was blue in the face and he felt true remorse for what he did. Carol knew this. But it still didn't change the fact that he looked her right in the eye before and accused her of being a danger to his children. Those things were hard for her. And it seemed that the two men that she didn't want to see, were the ones suffocating her. Rick was there when she woke up every morning and Tyreese was there every afternoon and then Rick would come back in the evenings. It was exhausting. The only one that she really did want to see was avoiding her like the plague and was so lost in his grief over not being able to save Beth that she didn't know what to say to him when he did come around.

Her mind drifted back to those few days that they had had alone and she smiled slightly. No one else got her like he did. He had been right. He did know her. He knew almost everything about her and he still accepted her, flaws and all. She just wished that she could reach him again. She hadn't been well enough to try and she knew that he was probably going to lash out at her but she was ready now. She was better and she wasn't going to let him turn back into that boy. He was the greatest man she had ever known and he was going to stay that way, even if she had to listen to him scream at her for the next year. She would stay with this group for him alone and she would bring him back from that dark place in his mind that he went too.

"Carol, if Rick comes back and he sees you out here, it's my head that's gonna be on a stick."

She spun around and saw Glenn standing there, looking apologetic. She groaned. "I'm not out here climbing trees. I'm standing on a porch and getting some fresh air. Rick needs to lay off a little. I feel like he has me on a leash. It's driving me crazy."

Glenn ran a hand through his hair and she realized how weary he looked. He was pale and worn with dark circles under his eyes. "He cares about you. He doesn't want anything to happen to you," he said quietly, looking past her at the yard.

She nodded. "I know that."

He shook his head. "I don't think you do." He finally met her eyes.

"What do you mean?" She asked frowning.

Glenn shrugged and sidled up next to her, their shoulders barely brushing. "I don't know. Something's changed. The way he looks at you has changed. I have a feeling that soon enough, it's all gonna come to light and then shit is really going to hit the fan."

"Glenn, honey, I think you need to rest up while Maggie is asleep," Carol said gently. She honestly had no idea what the boy was talking about.

He smiled slightly, shaking his head. "We've been through a lot together, ya know. From the very beginning until now all the things we've been through was bound to forge a strong bond. I love you, Carol. You know that I do."

"I love you too, Glenn," she said, a knot of emotion forming in her throat.

He nodded meeting her eyes. "I know you do."

Carol shook her head. "We all love each other, Glenn. It's why we're so strong."

He nodded. "Yeah but at times lines can get blurred, ya know? There's love and then there's _love_."

Carol raised her brows. "I'm really trying to understand what you're talking about here but it isn't sinking in. I'm going to blame it on the head trauma. You're going to have to spell this out for me."

Glenn actually chuckled and then turned so he was leaning his back against the banister. "You have no idea what was about to happen to us before you came charging into Terminus like some sort of Rambette. We were watching others be slaughtered like pigs, literally. They were about to eat us. I mean, for dinner. And you got us out. You saved us all. You add that on top of everything else you've done for us and you can't imagine how much this group feels they owe you."

Carol shook her head. "That's nonsense."

"No it's not." He turned his head, meeting her eyes fiercely. "I think after you saving us, even though he had forced you to leave like he did, Rick is blurring the lines. We all see it."

Carol opened her mouth and closed it quickly. What he was saying was ridiculous. Rick didn't love her. Not like that. Did he? And even if he thought he did it was only because he felt like he owed her. She recalled sitting on the bed with him, his arms around her, comforting her after they had left Grady. There was brief moment that he had looked at her, their faces so close, and she had thought for a second that he was going to kiss her. And she would have let him. Not because she was in love with him but because she hadn't been kissed in a very long time and if he had kissed her then for just a little while she could have forgotten the pain and the exhaustion and the grief. But he hadn't kissed her. He hadn't kissed her because Daryl had chose that moment to make his presence known. She shook her head, refusing to accept what she had just confirmed herself.

"You can shake your head all day long. It isn't going to erase the facts," Glenn said sympathetically. He pushed off the banister and walked towards the door.

"I don't love Rick, Glenn," Carol said hurriedly. "Not like that."

Glenn turned around with a smile. "Everyone knows that but Rick, Carol. You're in love with Daryl. That's why I said that shit will definitely hit the fan." He didn't wait for her to respond. He left her standing out there on the porch, her mouth hanging open.

She shook her head, trying to shake Glenn's words. They were crazy. Glenn was just seeing things that weren't there. They had been through a lot. They had suffered immeasurably over the last few weeks. Everyone was in pain over many different reasons and maybe Rick was feeling more kindly towards her but that meant nothing. That was only guilt. He was guilty for making her leave the prison and now he was over compensating because she had saved him.

She looked out over the yard once more before going back inside. Abe and Tara looked up, nodding in greeting. Tara smiled. "You might wanna head back upstairs. If Rick comes back and sees you out here, someone is in trouble."

She stared at the girl and then forced a smile before heading towards the stairs. Come to think of it, she really should rest. She had a feeling it was going to be a long night. A very long night. She hated that Glenn said anything at all. Now she was surely going to misconstrue everything he said and did now. It wasn't like their friendship wasn't already under enough pressure.

She sat down on the bed and sighed heavily. She didn't know how to deal with things like this. So she made a snap decision. She was going to be an adult. She was going to be the strong woman that she had become over the last few years. She shook her head. Nope. She wasn't going to do that. She was going to stick her head in the sand like the coward that she was and pretend that the conversation with Glenn never happened. Rick Grimes did not want to be with her. She was not in love with Daryl Dixon. There would be absolutely no shit hitting any fans in the foreseeable future. None that involved Rick, Daryl or herself anyway. She was too old for this. She was too tired for this. She was too afraid to even attempt to try to contemplate what the emotional backlash that a showdown like that would cause.

She tried to fall asleep but sleep wasn't what her body needed. She was hungry but there wouldn't be anything to eat until the guys made it back. She was in a bit of pain but there was nothing for her to take for it. She was lonely, she realized. She had been complaining about not getting a moment to herself but now that she was alone she didn't want her mind to be able to wonder. She didn't want to think about things.

She wasn't sure how long she laid there but eventually she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was being shaken awake.

"Carol, you have to come quick," Sasha's voice held a frantic note that had Carol moving quickly.

"What is it?" Carol asked, fear gripping her.

"It's Rick and Tyreese. Something's happened."

Carol followed her down the stairs and she instantly saw Tyreese and Rick, looking battered and tired. They were both sitting on the old couch. Rick was leaning forward, his head in his hands and Tyreese was staring off at the wall.

A cold sinking feeling slid it's way down Carol's spine and when she opened her mouth she barely recognized her own voice. "Where is he?" She asked, refusing to believe something had happened to him that he couldn't walk away from.

Rick looked up then, standing on shaky legs. His eyes were wet. His face was tortured. When he met her eyes she felt like the floor had given out from under her.

"Is he dead?" She asked metal bands seeming to squeeze the air out of her lungs.

Tyreese stood up, supported by Sasha. "He went to the pharmacy alone. A herd came through and must have heard him in there because they just... Jesus, there were so many. We took out as many as we could but it was useless. We circled around but the exit door had been chained shut from the outside."

She nodded. "Did you see him go down?"

They both shook their heads but it was Rick that spoke. "Carol, if I thought there were a chance he was alive then I wouldn't have left. No one could have gotten out of that. Not even him."

She felt her eyes turn hard. "But you didn't see him go down?"

They both shook their heads. Tyreese reached for her hand but she moved away, heading towards the door. She had already grabbed her rifle and she had her knife. That was all she needed. Daryl wasn't dead. She wouldn't believe it until she saw it.

Rick stopped her, pulling her back with one arm around her waist. "Carol, if you go out there, you're as good as dead too. That herd isn't leaving that town any time soon. I'm not letting you walk into that half cocked."

She jerked herself out of his grip, turning. "You don't call the shots for me. He's there and he's alive."

Rick shook his head and looked down. "I know it's hard to..."

"He's not dead, Rick. If he was dead I'd know. Somehow I'd just know." She believed it too. Somehow, deep inside, she knew that Daryl was out there. And he needed her. There weren't enough walkers in the world that could keep her from making sure he was safe. If it meant using her last breath to take out the last walker that was a threat to him, she would do it gladly. She was going to find Daryl Dixon, even if it killed her.


	4. Chapter 4

**I just went over this chapter and laughed. Guest starring Merle Dixon and Carol Peletier. Hope you like it. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Four**

He woke up not knowing where he was. It was dark, he knew that much. So dark that for a moment he was sure he had somehow gone blind. That or he was dead and this was what death was. Just blackness and nothingness for eternity. What a boring bitch eternity was going to be. He also heard the sound of a drum beating somewhere. It was so loud it seemed to vibrate his brain, causing him to wince with every beat.

He reached into his pocket for the lighter and tried to sit up. When he did his forehead slammed against something metallic and he laid back down, cursing and touching the spot right below his hairline. His fingers came away sticky and wet. Did people still bleed when they were dead? That didn't make any damn sense.

He lit the lighter and rolled over onto his stomach, looking around the space as best he could. He frowned. For one terrifying second he imagined that his group had been mistaken and buried him alive. It felt like he was in a box. When he rolled back over he saw pipes running the length of his coffin. That didn't make any more sense than anything else that had happened.

After lying there for a few more moments he remembered everything. He had been trapped in a bathroom. A woman's bathroom. He couldn't go down in a woman's bathroom. Merle would turn over in his grave if he let something like that happen. When he had looked up he seen that there was a vent in the ceiling directly above the trash can. He'd stood on the trash can and climbed up just as those rotten bastards busted through the door.

So he wasn't dead. He was in the ventilation system of the building and now all he had to do was crawl his ass out of it. Now that he knew what to listen for he could hear the walkers below him. He wasn't going to get away with climbing down. They were probably everywhere in the building now.

He wondered if Rick and Tyreese had seen what happened. If they saw the herd go into the pharmacy they would think he was dead. They had probably already gone back to the house. Now the whole group was probably mourning him too. He scowled in the dark. This was bullshit. If they thought he was dead then they would leave without him and they had no true destination in mind. He would have to try to track them and if they got a hold of a vehicle then he may never find them. That thought had him crawling to the far wall. There had to be a way out of here. A way to the roof or something. He closed his eyes, trying to remember if this building was more than one story. He was pretty sure that he had seen second story windows. He had been a little preoccupied when he had spotted the place but he was almost sure.

Depending how old the building was there was also a chance that he would be able to find another ventilation shaft big enough for him to squeeze his ass through. Then he could get to the second floor and find his way down from there. He wondered how long he had been out. How much time had Rick and Tyreese had to get back to the house. Had they told the others he was dead?

"Goddamn it, Rick," he muttered out loud. If they thought he was dead Carol would take it harder than most. And Rick would be right by her side, offering to comfort her however she needed. "You asshole," he growled as he made it to the wall. He had put the lighter out, not wanting to start a fire while he was trapped between two floors. He lit it again and glanced up. There wasn't anything there other than some water lines. He would have to think of something else.

He wiggled around, glad there was no one there to see him. He was pretty sure he looked like an idiot.

_"Boy, you slammed your fool head into the pipes when you got up here. You ain't thinkin' straight. You keep movin' around like that and you're gonna fall through the hole you crawled into."_

"Merle?" Daryl grew very still, listening closely. Through the throbbing drum beat in his head he clearly heard his brother's voice.

_"Nah, numb nuts. It's Jesus."_

Yep. That was definitely Merle. "You're dead. How the hell you talkin' to me?" Daryl asked, already getting annoyed with his dead brothers attitude. The throb in his head was sending shots of pain through his skull with every beat of his heart. It was probably just a Merle induced headache.

_"I don't know but I figure, I'll just go with it before you get your dumb ass killed."_

"Why you gotta be such a dick even tho your dead?"

_"Well, once I get your dumb ass outta here, I'll blow you kisses and rub your booboos ya cry baby."_

Daryl snorted and shifted around a little more.

_"Roll over onto your back, baby brother."_

"Stop bossin' me around, Merle. You know, you could come visit and shit when I ain't stuck like this."

_"Roll over, brace your legs against the ceilin' and kick like a drunk mule. There's an old vent right there."_

"How do you know?"

_"I'm dead dumbass. I know all kinds of shit. Like, if you don't get your ass up there then that friend of yours is gonna take your woman up to that bedroom and make her forget your name. You want that to happen?"_

"Goddamn it, Merle. She wouldn't do that. Just just the hell up," he growled as he kicked. To his surprise something gave and one of his legs went through. He sat up quickly and then howled when he hit his head again.

_"Good Lord, boy! Would ya quit playin' bumper cars with your brain? You're all fucked up. You need to get the hell outta this place."_

Daryl groaned and felt his head again. He wasn't sure if he was bleeding so freely from the new wound or the last one. He moved his hand back and felt a sticky lump. The blood was dried back there. That must have been the reason he was feeling so spaced out. When he had launched himself into the vent he had bashed his head on something and knocked himself out. He was lucky he hadn't fallen back into that bathroom.

He was getting his wits about him, despite the fact he had hit his head two more times after he had knocked himself unconscious. He knew that he was alone. He knew Merle wasn't really there but he still felt saddened by the fact that he wasn't going to hear him anymore. Even if the guy was still an ass.

Ass or not, Merle had been right. There was a way up now that he kicked a hole through the floor. He twisted around and felt around the hole with his hands. He was able to ease up onto his knees, even though he still had to keep his head lowered. He worked his head and shoulders through the small space. It took some maneuvering but he finally managed to stand all the way and pull his legs free. It was dark in the room he had climbed into but not pitch black like his eyes had gotten used too. He could see enough from what light shone in through the two dirty windows that he was in some kind of storage room. There were dusty boxes lining one wall and a door leading out of the room hanging open. He stood up and had to double over, bracing his hands on his knees to keep from falling. He was dizzy and his stomach swirled with nausea.

He managed to get to the door and close it as quietly as he could. There was a heavy looking piece of furniture sitting in the corner and he struggled to move it in front of the door. He went to the window and pushed it open, hoping that a little fresh air would do him a little bit of good. It did, for the most part, the damp air clearing some of the cobwebs out of his mind. He looked down and noticed the fire escape right below him. All he would have to do was climb out the window and walk down. As dizzy as he was that was easier said than done. Not to mention there were at least two dozen walkers below him that would be able to hear him.

He cursed under his breath and took a step back. Over by the far wall was a sofa that looked like it had been dragged up here fifty years earlier. Lucky for him, he had slept on plenty worse. He collapsed on the dusty cushions and closed his eyes, knowing he had a concussion but not caring at the moment. He felt himself being pulled under the dark waters of unconsciousness just a few seconds later, the damp breeze blowing in through the window lulling him to sleep.

_"Are you going to eat that?"_

_Daryl turned his head and was surprised to find himself staring into a pair of pale blue eyes. Somewhere, in the back of his head, he knew he was dreaming but it was odd. Most of his dreams weren't so... clean. He dreamed of death and blood and walkers. He would take this dream over that one any day. Everything looked white here. The walls, the floor, the ceiling, the light. White and spotless._

_"Well?" Carol smiled and it lit up her face. _

_He looked down at his hand. He was holding a pineapple. Yeah, this was definitely a dream. "This?"_

_She shook her head and pointed to his other hand. In this one he held a squirrel by the tail. He looked up, frowning and she laughed, throwing her head back. He dropped the squirrel and then jumped out of the way when it ran between his feet. _

_"Do you know you shouldn't be sleeping?" She said, tilting her head to the side._

_"I know," he muttered. _

_"Then you should wake up."_

_He shook his head. "Can't. Too damn tired."_

_She reached out and took his hand in hers. "You know I'm coming for you, right?"_

_He looked up and snorted. "You got a hero complex or somethin'?"_

_She grinned. "No, but I love you so I have to make sure you're safe."_

_"What about Rick?" He asked, just because he knew he was dreaming and it wouldn't matter._

_She shrugged. "I love Rick too. But he isn't the one trapped."_

_He scowled. "You can't love us both."_

_She shrugged again and dropped his hand, placing hers on his face, cupping his cheeks. "I'm the hero here. I can love whoever I want." She glanced over her shoulder and when she looked back at him she looked worried. "There's a walker in the hallway right outside your door. You need to wake up."_

_He shook his head. "I don't wanna wake up."_

_She sighed and plucked the pineapple out of his hand. "Too bad." She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving him standing there in the white room, staring after her. _

He woke with a start, nearly falling off of the sofa. His head was killing him but through the pain he could hear the telltale scratching outside the door. He wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore. If there was one walker out in that hallway then there could always be more.


	5. Chapter 5

**I've been able to stay Nineteen chapters ahead for this one and still update every day. That feels amazing. Hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading. **

**Chapter Five**

She buckled her boots and stood quickly. It was barely daybreak and all she could do was hope that the others were still asleep. If not then she would have a fight on her hands but she had another day of recovery under her belt and she was going to get Daryl back, whether the others wanted her to or not. Despite everything that Rick and Tyreese had told her, she wasn't going to believe it until she saw the body herself. If she went into that pharmacy and found pieces of him then she would accept the fact that he was gone. Until then, her mind wouldn't even let her consider it.

She shouldered her rifle, ran her hand down the knife at her belt, and left the room. The sun wasn't up enough to chase away all of the shadows in the hallway outside of her bedroom door. Her eyes hadn't adjusted well enough for her to make out anything more than shapes. She didn't realize that there was someone else there, coming out of one of the other rooms, until a strong arm came around her waist and pulled her back. She opened her mouth to say something but she was suddenly turned around. She could see well enough to see Rick's angry face only inches from hers.

"What the hell are you doing?" He whispered harshly.

She was too aware of his presence. He was too close. His arm was still around her and it was disconcerting. Glenn's words tumbled through her mind and she winced. Clearing her throat she tried to move away from him, she had to move away from him. She realized, her heart sinking, that it didn't really feel unpleasant to be this close to him. This thought jarred her and she shoved him hard, actually causing him to take a few steps back. The truth was, being with Rick, if he really did have feelings for her, would be effortless. She knew him. He knew her. It wouldn't be hard to slip into some kind of romantic dynamic with him. But just flirting with the idea had her feeling like she was betraying herself. Just because it would be easy didn't mean that it would be right. And it didn't mean that she would finally find happiness. As much as she cared for him, there wasn't that spark. There wasn't anything about him that made her want to strive to be better. To be stronger. There was no real connection between them.

"I'm doing what you should have done last night. I'm going after him." She turned on her heel but that damn arm went around her again, pressing her back into him. She told herself that he was keeping her close so he wouldn't have to raise his voice.

"You aren't goin' out there alone," he whispered, his lips next to her ear.

"Yes, I am," she said, clenching her teeth and willing herself not to stomp on his foot. She pulled away from him. "I'll wake Ty up and he can go with me if that would make you feel any better."

He shook his head but he didn't make a move to touch her again. "I'll go. I'm the one that let him storm off half cocked. This is my fault."

She felt a stab of sympathy for him. "No it isn't. When are we going to stop blaming ourselves for every little thing that happens? Have any of us realized how lucky we are to still be breathing? I'm so tired of blaming myself for things I had no control over..." She closed her mouth when his finger pressed against her lips.

"Okay. It was his fault. He should have been more careful. Now lets go get him back." He dropped his hand and led her down the stairs. She didn't say anything else to him. Mostly because there wasn't anything else to say. He was going to help her and that was what mattered.

He woke Carl and Michonne, making sure they knew what was going on. He didn't bother telling anyone else other then Abe and Glenn who had taken the last watch. The car that Rick and Tyreese had taken on their way back to the house was almost out of gas but that wasn't a problem. They could drive it until it was empty and then walk until they found another one. It didn't matter what it was going to take. She wasn't coming back until she found him.

For most of the drive they were silent. Rick was the one to finally break it. That was another thing she loved about Daryl. He knew the value of silence. It was another thing they shared.

"Carol, I know you aren't going to believe me until you see for yourself, but I swear, if I thought he was alive, I never would have left without him. You have to know that."

She nodded. "I know."

"Do you?" He glanced at her, his eyes imploring.

"He means a lot to you. You wouldn't just leave him behind."

He sighed loudly. "He means a lot to you too."

She looked at him but his eyes stayed on the road. "You know he does."

Rick grew quiet again and she was glad. She didn't want him to ask her what she really felt for Daryl because she hadn't figured that out herself. A person didn't have time to do something as trivial as evaluating feelings. With the constant running, walkers, and losing their loved ones, how could a person find the luxury to sit back and ponder love and relationships.

"If we don't find what we're looking for here, are you gonna be okay?" He asked, his voice rough.

She shook her head. "You know, you would think I'd be used to losing people by now but I really don't think I would be okay. And neither would you."

"No, I wouldn't. Me and Daryl didn't start out on the same page but I rely on him. He's like a brother to me and losing him..." His voice trailed off, like he couldn't finish the sentence. After a deep breath he finally did. "Well, it wouldn't be an easy thing to get over. To be honest, I've already let myself grieve a little. I just don't see much hope. You weren't there."

She shook her head angrily. "I didn't have to be there to have faith. I've lost faith in a lot since the beginning but I'd never lose faith in him. He's alive, Rick. I know he's alive."

~H~

He listened to the walker outside the door, clawing vaguely. It must have been alone and it must have been up here for a long time because it was too weak to do a whole lot. At first he had been worried that it would attract the other walkers but it didn't. The access to the attic must have been blocked off somehow. Probably by the very walker that was now trying to get him. He wondered how long it had taken the person to die after locking themselves up. He shook the thought and watched as daybreak lit up the windows. Occasionally he would take a look at the street below but it was no use. There were always too many walkers down there and he had been forced to drop his bow in the bathroom so he could escape.

His head still ached but it felt a lot better than it had when he had woken up from the dream. He didn't remember much of it now, only that Carol had been there and she had tried to make him wake up. He let his mind drift to thoughts of her as the sun rose higher in the sky. He didn't hold out much hope that anyone would be coming for him so he needed to figure a way out of this before the group moved on.

The sound of a vehicle sounded somewhere near and he made his way up from the floor, groaning as his head protested the shift in blood flow. He ignored it and went to the window. "I shoulda fuckin' known," he muttered as he watched as Carol got out of the car. He grinned as she quickly assessed the situation. Walkers were coming towards them now but the ones that were circling below him were still there.

Rick got out and joined her and Daryl was too glad to see them at all that seeing them together didn't bother him like it had been bothering him. Carol had to have dragged him back to the town. There was no reason for Rick and Tyreese to believe that he could still be alive. Hell, he couldn't believe that he was still alive. He had a good idea who was responsible for them being there now. Carol wouldn't have given up as easily as the others. She would have fought tooth and nail to get to him. He would have done the same thing for her so this didn't surprise him either. That was how they always were.

He made his way out onto the fire escape, watching as Rick and Carol took out the walkers that got too close. The angle he was looking at them from gave him a clear view of them but at the moment they couldn't see him. His view didn't face the street but an alley that cut between this building and the next. Once the front of the pharmacy came into view he saw Carol stop, her hand going to her mouth. Rick was there as she turned her face away from whatever had her so upset. Rick was quick to wrap his arms around her.

"The fuck you cryin' about woman!" He yelled, causing the walkers in the alley to stir more, looking around for the source of the sound.

Carol spun around, out of Rick's arms and glanced around herself. Rick spotted him before she did and he grinned, relief clear on is face even from where Daryl stood. Rick touched her elbow and pointed. When Carol looked up she didn't look like she believed she was actually seeing him. The emotion playing across her face was intense, even from his viewpoint. He waved and then she grinned, waving back and shaking her head. She gave Rick a pointed look before glancing back up.

"We'll lead them further up the street. You climb down and circle around," Rick yelled. The two of them were already backing away from the walkers that had heard his voice. They sprinted to the car and then they sped out of site, the walkers following them like the mindless idiots they were.

The fire escape hadn't been up to code for a lot of years before the world had gone to shit. It swayed and creaked under his weight but he was only one story up so he wasn't worried. The walkers in the alley were already chasing after Rick and Carol so he made it down without a hitch. He hoped the walkers inside the pharmacy had followed their buddies because he wasn't going any damn where without his bow.

He crept around the side of the building, keeping low and silent, his ears strained. The walkers were tripping over each other trying to get out the door. He waited there, occasionally looking behind him in case a straggler caught his scent. It took longer than he thought and he could only hope that Rick didn't drive back towards him to see what was taking him so long. Once the doorway seemed clear he darted around the corner and back into the building that had been his prison since the day before. He hurried to the bathroom where he had dropped the bow.

"Thank God," he muttered as he saw it lying there on the floor. Even after being trampled by a bunch of dead fucks, it was still undamaged. He grabbed it and took off running, not trusting that things would work out the way he wanted them too. He didn't slow down until he saw the car idling a half a block away, walkers approaching it from behind.

He couldn't see anyone in the car and he frowned, wondering what the hell had happened. When he heard a familiar whistle he glanced over and saw Carol only a few yards away, standing next to another car on a side street. She motioned for him so he ran towards her. When he finally made it to her he had to force himself to slow down. If he plowed right into her then he could hurt her since he knew for a fact she wasn't at one hundred percent yet. Once he was right in front of her she smiled wide and as he pulled her to him, careful not to hug her too tightly. She didn't give him the same courtesy, nearly choking the life out of him.

The hug was quick but he made the most of it, bravely letting his hands linger at her waist as he pulled back. "Where's Rick?"

She glanced past him before meeting his eyes again. "That car is about bone dry. He wasn't sure if we could get far enough away before it died." She shook her head, eyes narrowing. "I told him you weren't dead."

"You didn't look so sure when you came up on that building," he said, involuntarily stepping back into her space as his fingers flexed on her.

"The place was packed with walkers. I thought..." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I thought. Your alive. If you keep this up me and you are gonna be even."

Her nails dug into the skin of his arms but he barely felt it. She was right. This made the second time she had saved his ass in a matter of days.

"You find a car?"

They both tensed and then dropped their arms, stepping away at the same time as Rick approached them from the other direction.

Carol nodded and patted the hood of the car that Daryl just realized was already running. They hurried in but not before he shared one last lingering look with her. Yesterday he had been pretty sure he was going to die. In one fleeting moment he had allowed himself to admit what he had been feeling for a very long time. Now that he had set that knowledge free, he planned on doing something about it. He wasn't sure when and he wasn't sure how but he was dead set on it. He cared about Rick. He cared about him a lot. And maybe last week he would have admitted that Rick was the right man to give Carol what she needed. But things had changed. He had changed. After everything they had all gone through, it was time for him to be the man that Carol had told him he had become.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Carol wrapped an arm around herself, trying to keep the pain from her face once they pulled up to the house. She didn't regret going after Daryl for a second but she hadn't been as ready as she had thought. Her ribs were killing her with every breath she took. Still, she didn't regret it for a second. When she had seen him alive and well she thought for an instant that the relief would bring her to her knees. But now that they were back all she wanted to do was rest.

She was sitting in the back seat, in the middle so she wouldn't miss out on any of the conversation. Both men were out of the car before she could even blink. To her surprise, both back doors opened up at the same time. She looked from one to the other, a frown forming between her brows. Why in the hell were they opening doors for her? She didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings but the door Rick had opened was closer to the house so she slid out on his side. She kept her arm firmly around her middle, no longer caring if they knew that she was over doing it.

The door to the house opened up and the others, all but Maggie, came out to greet them. Tyreese smiled and she smiled back but her pain must have been apparent on her face because suddenly his smile fell away.

"You get hurt out there?" He asked, looking her over.

She shook her head. "May have overdone it a bit."

He nodded and then glanced at Daryl who was getting celebratory pats on the back from the rest of the group. "It was worth it though. I never would have dreamed he'd survived that."

She sighed. "I didn't doubt it for a minute." She quickly linked her arm through his and he obligingly helped her to the house. Tyreese was like a beacon to her at the moment. He didn't expect anything from her but friendship and she welcomed that now. This whole mess with Rick was making her uneasy and what she wanted was just a few minutes of peace. Tyreese could provide that. At least with him she wouldn't have to worry about what he was feeling towards her and she wouldn't have to worry about what she was feeling towards him. He was simply there to lend her a hand. One that she actually needed at the moment.

He stopped outside of her door. "You want some company? Checkerboard is getting cold on us."

She shook her head. "If I never play that game again for as long as I live I'll die happy."

He laughed. "Get some rest Carol. Maybe next time you'll listen to us."

She made a face and watched him head back down the stairs. With a weary sigh she opened the door and slipped into the room. She removed her rifle and her sweater and stood in front of the mirror. Lifting up her tank top she scowled at the bruises that marred her ribs and abdomen. It was an ugly sight, made even uglier by her pale skin. If she had been darker they wouldn't stand out in such stark contrast. She ran her fingers over the marks, her mind involuntarily going back to a time when a good portion of her body looked like this most of the time.

"Goddamn. Why didn't tell me it was that bad?"

She shoved the shirt down and spun around, startled. Daryl was behind her, concern written all over his face as his eyes lingered on her shirt that now covered the mess. "Because I haven't seen much of you. It looks a lot worse than it is. Don't worry."

He looked up, eyes locking on hers and narrowing slightly. "Yeah, and you probably wouldn't tell me if it was as bad as it looks." He stepped closer. "Here," he grumbled as he grabbed the hem of her shirt. She tried to push his hands away but he just gave her an exasperated look from behind his fringe of hair.

"It's already been looked at, Daryl. There isn't anything you can do for it," she argued. She was surprised when he let go, not expecting him to give up so easily. Her eyes followed him as he glanced around the room quickly. Finally he bent down, retrieving her sweater from the floor. She was about to ask him what exactly he intended to do with the garment when, to her horror, he ripped it. Not just a little tear either. He pretty much destroyed the thing faster than she could snatch it away.

He held it out of reach and grabbed her wrist when she made a grab for it. "Would you be still for a few minutes. The only person who's seen how bad you are is Rick and out of the two of us, which one knows more about doctering themselves?"

She scowled. "You, most likely, but you just shredded my favorite sweater."

He looked at the dingy thing, raising a brow. "Do you have bad taste in _everything_?"

She opened her mouth but she closed it again before she called him an ass. She had just gotten him back. She would save the insults for tomorrow. She was about to point out that he had a good amount of dried blood that seemed to have come from a wound on his forehead but she didn't have a chance. Suddenly he was on his knees in front of her, gripping her hips and pulling her closer.

"Raise it up so I can get a better look," he said, not looking at her face.

She tried to step away but his grip on her tightened. "No!"

"Carol..." He let her name hang there between them and when he finally looked at her, she saw the concern in his eyes.

She blew out a breath and finally did as he asked. For as nervous as she felt she may as well have been completely nude. His eyes scanned the bruises quickly and then he went to work, wrapping the poor ruined sweater around her ribs.

Every time his hands brushed against her skin she felt electricity shoot up her spine. All too quickly, he was finished. He surprised her further when he placed his hands over her ribs, his thumbs meeting right below her sternum. He squeezed just slightly, testing the bind, and then his hands dropped away and he stood up.

"Better?" He asked, stepping away from her.

She lowered her shirt and took a shallow breath. She was surprised to find that it was, indeed, better than it had been. "Yes. Thank you."

He shrugged. "I wasn't stayin' away from you cause I wanted too. I just needed to get my head together."

He didn't meet her eyes and she realized that it had been a long time since he had avoided her like that. "It's okay. We've all had it hard. We all deal with things differently."

He finally raised his eyes to hers. "Yeah, I guess we do. Least you had Rick, right? You can kind of count on him to be around when you need somebody."

She felt her features harden. "Yeah, unless you do something that he don't approve of and he kicks you out of your home. Other than that he's a real stand up guy." She didn't even know where this was coming from. She had forgiven Rick for what he had done and he had tried to be there for her to make up for it. She knew what was coming. Daryl opened his mouth like he was going to say something to defend his friend and she was prepared to agree with him and drop the subject altogether.

"I ain't gonna make up excuses for him. What he did was wrong. I wouldn't ever do anything like that."

She was more than a little surprised at his words. "I know that."

He nodded and then before she could think of anything else to say, he left the room. She stood there staring at the door, unsure whether she wanted him to come back or stay away for now. He had been doing a lot of staying away so she didn't really think he would be back. She didn't fault him though. That was his way. After a few more minutes she sighed and went to bed. She was ready to get her strength back so they could get out of the house and back on the road. She hadn't slept at all the night before, worrying about Daryl so she fell asleep quickly. Luckily for her, this sleep was dreamless.

~H~

Daryl looked down at the bowl of oatmeal that Michonne handed him. He made a face and looked up. "Oatmeal for dinner again. Least I think it's oatmeal," he muttered as he picked up a spoon full of the shapeless glob and let it plop back into the bowl.

"What?" She asked, glancing at the bowl.

He shook his head and dug in, he was hungry so it didn't matter that Michonne had managed to seriously mess up something like oatmeal. At least it was something. She went back into the house after flashing him a grin. Even she knew she couldn't cook. He was sitting on the back step since it was pretty crowded inside, even with the group spread out, there were just too many for him to deal with right now. He'd hate to see what it would look like in there if everyone tried to congregate into one room.

He didn't turn when he heard the door open. He didn't mind the company either, as long as it wasn't all of them. The wood creaked under a pair of boots and he could tell by the steps who it was.

"You wasn't gonna come back, were you?" He asked.

Rick sat down next to him, stretching his legs out and crossing them at the ankles. "I didn't think you could have made it. Those things swarmed that place so fast me and Tyreese couldn't do anything but watch."

Daryl leaned his shoulder into the banister. "Yeah. I woulda made the same call."

"I guess it's a good thing that I don't know how to deal with the wrath of Carol. She was going on her own," Rick smiled and shook his head.

Daryl watched him closely. "I figured." He wanted to ask him when it happened. He wanted to know when Rick went from not wanting her near his kids anymore to wanting _her_, period. "You two seem to be on real good terms," he said instead.

Rick nodded. "Yeah. I guess you can say that." He paused and then finally looked over. "You've seen it this whole time but I didn't."

"Seen what?" Daryl asked, frowning.

"What an asset she is. How much she does for everybody around her."

Daryl couldn't swallow down the flash of anger but he stayed quiet. Rick didn't seem to notice it at all. He just kept on talking.

"She didn't hesitate at all to take off after you. She tried to sneak off this morning before anyone else got up. I knew she was going to."

"Good thing she did, I guess," Daryl grumbled. He wasn't in the mood to sit out here and listen to him go on and on about her. Like Rick said, he had always known how important Carol was. If Rick was just now figuring this out then that was his loss.

"You know, she's been through a lot. She deserves to be happy," Rick droned on.

Daryl tensed. "We've all been through a lot." If Rick heard the edge in his voice then he didn't let on like he did.

"I think it's about time we all move forward. After everything that's happened, it doesn't make any sense to expect a tomorrow. If we want to make anything of our lives then we need to do it now. Stop tiptoeing around each other. And we can't just play with peoples emotions."

Daryl swallowed hard. "What the fuck are you gettin' at, Rick?"

Rick stood up, pacing in the grass as he ran a hand through his hair before he finally looked at him. The look in his eyes was determined. "You've known all this time how much she cares about you and you haven't done a damn thing about it. I get it. I do. But it's time for her to have more. More than I think you're willing to give her."

Daryl's teeth slammed together. _I can love whoever I want. _Her voice ghosted into his mind but he couldn't remember when she had said that to him. All he knew was that she had said it. What did she feel for Rick? And if Rick put it all out on the table for her, would she take what he was offering? Her and Rick had a deep bond but what Daryl had with her went much deeper than that. Would that matter? If there was ever a moment to open his mouth it was now.

"You really think she feels that way about you?" He asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could.

"I think she could learn to," he said with a nod. He looked up, imploring. "Are we good?"

Daryl thought about that for a few long moments before he stood up. He hated to think that the bond him and Rick shared could be destroyed by something like jealousy, and he didn't truly think it could. But if Rick thought for a second that he was going down without a fight then he was dead wrong. "We're good."

Rick looked relieved and he slapped him on the back as he walked by. Daryl watched him go, chewing his lip in thought. Rick wouldn't be looking relieved for long. He had no intentions of giving that damn infuriating woman up without a fight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

When she woke up it was dark outside the windows. She groaned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. She threw the blankets aside and swung her legs over the bed, listening to the silence that surrounded her. She reached for her pack that she had left by the bed and rummaged for a bottle of water. When she came up empty she frowned. Her throat was to dry to ignore until morning but she hated risking waking the others. She also felt rested, which wasn't a good thing. She was messing up her sleeping schedule. With a sigh she got up and made her way towards the door, opening it slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. She headed for the stairs and suddenly her foot kicked something solid.

"What the fuck!"

She almost fell backwards at the sound of the hissing voice. She knew the voice and then she blinked as a form sat up next to the wall. She had no idea someone had been sleeping in the hallway.

"I think you broke my nose," Daryl groaned as he pulled himself up off the floor.

"Why are you sleeping in the hallway floor anyway?" She asked, grabbing his arm and leading him towards the stairs.

"Nowhere else to sleep. You may not have noticed but this place is kind of crowded." He let her lead him downstairs and they picked their way through the sleeping people in the living room. The kitchen was blessedly free of sleeping bodies and she let the door swing closed.

She lit a few of the candles that had been sitting on the kitchen table and turned to him. He had his head tilted back and he was pinching his nostrils. "I'm so sorry!" She fretted.

There was a decent amount of blood on him. She grabbed his arm again and forced him into a chair as she gathered up a few napkins that were sitting on the counter behind her. She brushed his hand away and held the napkin under his nose, forcing his head forward.

"If you tilt your head back then the blood just runs down the back of your throat and then you'll get sick," she said in a quiet voice so as not to disturb the others sleeping in the next room. "Trust me, I'm a professional at dealing with a busted nose."

He tried to move her hand away and take the napkin himself. "Your gettin' blood on you," he said gruffly.

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, Heaven forbid that ever happen to delicate little me. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I get sullied." She smiled.

"Smart ass," he huffed but he gave up, letting her clean him up as best she could.

Once she had him looking decent again she sat down carefully in the chair next to his, rolling a bottle of water between her hands. She smiled slightly, feeling his eyes on her. When she turned her head he looked away and she could have sworn that he blushed. "I'm sorry that I kicked you in the face," she whispered.

He glanced at her and snorted. "I guess I deserve it."

She frowned. "You deserve for me to kick you in the face?"

He shrugged. "I've probably done somethin' to earn it."

She deemed that statement too ridiculous for a response so she just shook her head and sipped at her water, enjoying his quiet company. Occasionally he would pluck the bottle from her hands and take a few drinks himself but for the most part they just sat there.

"Where you think we'll head after you get good enough to travel?" He asked after a while.

She shrugged and she knew that he could read the sadness all over her face. "I don't know. Does it really matter?"

"It should," he said quietly. "Where do you wanna go? If you could go anywhere at all?"

This was an odd question. Not the question really but the fact that it was him that asked. She leaned back in her seat and thought about it really hard before she answered. Where would she go if she could go anywhere? "Maybe an island. You know, we could clear it out and grow our own food and not have to really worry about anything anymore. There would always be water so we wouldn't have to walk around smelling like we do."

He seemed to think about it for a while before he nodded. "That don't sound too bad. A little borin'." He shrugged. "Besides, I like the way you smell."

She grinned at that. "I think we're all do for a little boring. And how on earth could you enjoy the way I smell when most of the time I smell like sweat and blood and dirt?"

He shrugged. "Maybe because I like to think that out of the two of us you smell worse. Makes me feel better about how dirty I am."

She met his eyes and scowled but she had to admit that the grin on his face was worth the ribbing. "I'll remember you said that."

"How you feelin'?" He asked suddenly, catching her off guard.

"A lot better, actually. You wrapping me up like that done wonders."

She noticed that his face reddened at that but she didn't comment on it. Things had been strange between them and she was afraid it was because he could sense it. Sense that she wanted more from him than he was able to give her. It was depressing to think about.

"Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "You feel like gettin' outta here? Just a short walk. I wanna show you somethin'."

She snorted. "If Rick wakes up and can't find me I think he would have a stroke. He's been... I don't even know. Glenn actually came to me and told me that Rick was... interested."

Carol wasn't looking at his face when she spoke but she felt him stiffen. When she did look at him she was a little surprised at the angry spark in his eyes. "Rick ain't the one that's spent all his time lookin' out for you. I am. And if you wanna go somewhere with me then it ain't any of Rick's damn business."

She truly did feel better and going on some late night walk with him sounded nice, if not a little dangerous, for more reasons than one. "I'll go. Rick isn't my keeper."

He nodded and stood up and she followed him to the back door. A thrill of excitement went through her and she didn't even know why. She had been alone with him plenty of times. Hell, it hadn't been long since they had gone off alone together. But this felt different. There seemed to be a purpose to this walk and she was curious to see what it was about.

"So, where are you taking me?" She asked when he headed for the woods instead of the road. She should have known.

"You mentioned water. I'm takin' you to see some water," he said vaguely.

She actually laughed and the feel of it seemed strange, foreign. When was the last time she had felt like laughing? Really laughing? She felt lighter than she had in a long time. "That sounds romantic. Maybe we can finally fool around."

He actually stopped in his tracks and she felt dread chase all that lightness away. She shouldn't have opened her big stupid mou-

"Not all busted up like you are," he said after studying her for a second. She blinked in surprise. Had he just insinuated that he wouldn't mind fooling around if she wasn't all busted up? It was hard to tell. Maybe he was just making up excuses. This time he actually had a good one. It still made her feel a little more bold, even if it was just an excuse.

The underbrush was thick and the trees were close together and she tried to be as quiet as he was being but she couldn't. She instinctively found his hand and was happy that he didn't seem bothered by it. He actually pulled her just a little closer. She was just starting to enjoy this little adventure when she heard the distinct sound of water rushing nearby.

He quickened his pace and she followed easily now. The rain was over and the moonlight was just bright enough to see by. When they slipped out from between the trees her fingers tightened around his at the site before her. He was right. He had led her to water. There was a wide shallow stream in front of them but when she looked past him, to her right, she saw the cause of all the noise. There was a waterfall just a little further away. He must have liked her reaction, even though she hadn't said anything, because when she glanced at him he was flashing one of those extremely rare grins once more.

"When did you find this?" She asked, leaning close so he could hear her.

He kept casting glances towards the woods and across the stream. He couldn't rely on his ears here so he would have to be extra vigilant with his eyes. "Found it before me and Rick went with Tyreese on that run. I wanted to bring you out here but, you know, shit happened."

She nodded. "Can we go closer?"

He wordlessly pulled her along, their boots making the trek over the rocks a little easier, and he steadied her every time she lost her footing. She smiled and shook her head. "This place is amazing."

He looked up at the water as it poured down into a clear round pool before it trickled down to the more shallow parts of the stream. Carol had the strangest urge to stand right under the water. She knew it was silly. It was dangerous to do something so childish. A walker could come out of nowhere and then they would both be in trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

He was happy that she was happy. The last time he had seen her look like that was when they had first discovered the prison after that long winter on the road. That had been several lifetimes ago. Their lives had changed a lot since then. _They_ had changed a lot. She stared at the water, her eyes wide and bright and her smile genuine. He liked the spot himself but it didn't seem like he liked it half as much as she did.

She surprised him by dropping his hand and stepping right into the water.

"What the hell are you doin'?" He asked as she made her way right towards the fall.

She glanced over her shoulder, "You say I stink. I'm not passing this up. I'm washing the stink off."

He watched her, shaking his head as he glanced around, making sure the coast was clear. They hadn't seen any walkers since they had gotten to the house but you could never be too careful. He ran his hand through his hair as he watched her and then grimaced at the grimy stiffness on the back of his head from when he had knocked himself stupid the night before. He took a deep breath and shrugged out of his vest. He kept his shirt on though. He wasn't feeling that brave yet.

She stepped under the heavy spray, her eyes closed and her hands running through her hair. She rubbed her arms briskly and his imagination ran away from him for just a moment, picturing her with much less clothing covering her up as she scrubbed herself down. She tilted her face up, the water pouring over her.

He didn't have to worry about his imagination running away with him anymore because as soon as he stepped into the spray right behind her he sucked in a shocked breath. It was colder than he had expected. He would have moved right back out of the spray but she turned around, startled at his proximity and nearly slipped. He caught her arm, righting her and then she laughed. Wiping her eyes. He ran his hands through his own hair, working the dried blood from the back of his head. He was going to regret this later. He didn't have any more clothes to put on but the look on her face was worth it. She watched him, blinking water away.

"Daryl Dixon, you do realize that we're showering together, right?" She said with a mischievous look.

His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and then, for no other reason other than he was a man and she was a woman, they moved down further. The shirt she wore was a pale color and very thin. The water was cold and he realized then that gravity hadn't taken it's toll on her body. He could see right through the shirt. Not just see the outline of her breasts since the shirt was clinging to her. He could see it all straining against the fabric, staring right back at him, begging to be touched. He swallowed hard and forced himself to look back up. She wasn't paying any attention to him, her eyes now scanning the area around them. He glanced down, a little guiltily, one more time before he followed her eyes. There was nothing there but she had the right idea. If he stayed there with her for much longer he was going to make a total ass of himself because his hands were actually itching to touch her. To run his thumbs across the hardened peaks of her breasts. Breasts that were more perfect than he could have imagined. He growled and actually shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. This only got her attention and she looked back at him curiously.

"We should go," he said, more gruffly than he meant too.

She looked disappointed but she nodded anyway. "Next time we come here, we're bringing soap," she said as she stepped out of the spray and waded back towards the bank. He followed her, cursing himself for bringing her here in the first place. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to manage to go back to sleep tonight and if she was as observant as he was she would know that that innocent little trip under the waterfall had effected him in a way that wasn't very innocent at all.

When he snatched up the vest from the rocks he managed to keep his eyes on hers and thrust it at her. She frowned, looking at it before looking back up.

He huffed out a breath. "Just in case there's anybody else up back at the house, you might wanna wear his."

She plucked it from his hands and then glanced down. She looked up sharply and even in the dim moonlight he could see her face redden brightly. "Oh my God," she hissed as she slapped his arm.

"What? I didn't do it!"

"You could have told me you could see... everything!" She looked extremely embarrassed and he felt bad for her but he wasn't going to pretend like he didn't enjoy the show.

"It's not that big a deal. You're the one that wanted to get wet." H should have worded that a little differently because his mind was kind of already swimming around in the gutter and it was getting incredibly worse. He almost felt like his perverted brother had settled down somewhere in his head and was forcing him to think about things that weren't going to help the situation he had gotten himself in. Like the fact that his first thought after he spoke the words was, if he had really wanted to get her wet he could have thought a lot more ways than standing under a waterfall.

She put the vest on quickly, covering herself up. Her good mood was gone and now she seemed mad as hell. All he had been trying to do was show her this damn stupid spot because he thought she would like it. He'd never told her to get in it. She looked more embarrassed than the situation called for but that was just him.

They were silent as they made their way to the house. Michonne was on watch and when she came around the back of the house she stopped, staring at them before grinning. He scowled at her and opened the back door, letting Carol slip in first. He shot Michonne one last look that he hoped would let her know that she better not tell anyone that she seen them coming back from the stream soaking wet with Carol wearing his vest.

He followed her inside and was really starting to wish he hadn't followed her into that damn water. For one, she was mad at him now and for two, he was soaked and he had nothing else to put on. She gave him a hard look before she grabbed his hand and led him through the house and up the stairs. He didn't mind though. Maybe she remembered that if she hadn't kicked him in the face then he'd probably still be asleep anyway and never would have gotten the free show she had unknowingly put on out there.

When they reached her bedroom he stopped outside her door. "What are you doin'?" He asked.

She ignored his question and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind her. "You are soaked," she said, like she needed to bring him all the way to the bedroom to state the obvious.

"No shit. So are you."

It was darker in here than it had been outside. She left him standing there and lit a candle that was sitting on the nightstand. "But I have something else to wear and you don't. There may be something up here you can wear and I'll hang your things up to dry." He watched her go to the closet and retrieve a duffel bag. He had never seen it before and wondered where she had gotten it.

She threw him something and it smacked him in the face before it fell to the floor. "Nice catch," she said dryly.

He picked up the dark object and held it out in front of him with his thumb and forefinger. "I ain't wearin' these," he scowled. Ball shorts? Really? Maybe she didn't know him at all.

She tossed something else, hitting him again. It was a ribbed tank top. Both garments were clean but he didn't care. He wasn't wearing any shit like this. He tossed them back on the bed and put his hands on his hips. "I ain't wearin' that."

She made a frustrated sound in the back of her throat as she tossed the bag back into the closet and spun around. "I don't want you sleeping out there on the floor. It isn't fair. There's plenty of room in here but I'm not sleeping with you wearing those soaked clothes, not to mention you could get sick. Think about that."

He was sleeping with her? When did that happen and why hadn't anyone told him about it? He grimaced at the clothes. "Who said I was sleepin' in here?"

She sighed. "Fine. Take your wet self back out to the hall. At least I tried."

He frowned. She didn't put up much of a fight. He almost walked out but then he thought of something. Rick would be in here first thing in the morning and if he saw Daryl in bed with her then maybe he would take the hint and back the hell off. She reached across the bed to grab the clothes but he was quicker. He snatched them from her and took a step back. "Fine," he grumbled, like he was making some huge sacrifice by accepting her offering of clean comfortable clothes and a warm bed.

"Fine," she said, sounding just as annoyed. He stood there, holding the clothes and she stood on the other side of the bed staring at him. "Well, are you gonna turn around?"

She pulled his vest further around herself. "Oh, this isn't one of those, show me yours and I'll show you mine kind of things?"

He snorted but he was glad to see that she wasn't going to hold it against him. She turned around, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited. He didn't hesitate. He didn't fully trust her not to turn around and he wasn't about to get caught with his pants down. So he put on the stupid clothes and didn't dare mention the fact that they were the most comfortable thing he had worn in over two years now.

"Alright," he grumbled, feeling like he was put on display by the way she was staring at him. He felt his ears heat up under her scrutiny.

"Wow," she muttered.

"Stop," he growled.

"Your turn," she said, giving him a pointed look.

He turned without argument listening intently as each wet piece of her clothing hit the floor. His head snapped up when he heard a light tap on her bedroom door and then it swung open. Daryl knew she hadn't had time to put anything on. So she was behind him, naked, and he was standing in the middle of her room.

Rick walked in, his eyes going to Daryl first, narrowing instantly, Carol gasped, and Daryl... Daryl found himself smiling so wide his cheeks ached.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Daryl saw Rick's eyes slide from him to Carol, who was standing on the other side of the bed, closest to the closet. Without thinking he looked her way too, momentarily forgetting that she was most likely naked. Or not. Maybe he was hoping for a glimpse, but he would never admit as much. She was covered, barely, by a button up flannel shirt. Her face was redder than he had ever seen it and she was glaring at Rick... until her eyes slid over to him.

"What the hell!" She choked. "Out! Both of you!" She pointed to the door, almost lost the shirt and hurried to catch it.

He wanted to argue, since she had invited him to share the bed, but he thought better of it. She didn't look like she was in the mood so he gestured towards the door. "After you," he muttered, still reveling in the fact that Rick looked like his eyes were about to bug out of his head.

Once the door was shut behind them Rick turned. "What the hell are you doing?"

Daryl feigned innocence, shrugging. "We went on a walk, we got wet. And cause of you, I got kicked outta her room. Thanks." He went to walk away but Rick stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"I thought we talked about this. I thought you knew how I felt about her," Rick said, dropping his hand.

Daryl forced himself to stay calm. "You talked about it. I listened."

Rick blew out an angry breath. "You can't tell me that you're gonna act now. What the hell have you been doing for the past two years? Other than string her along? All you're gonna do is hurt her. Why can't you let her be happy?"

Daryl thought about that question before he answered it. All he wanted was for her to be happy. Rick wasn't the one that was going to be able to do that. He didn't know her. He had never bothered to try to know her. Daryl knew her. "She was happy tonight."

"Did you... Did you sleep with her?" Rick asked, hands going to his hips.

Daryl scowled. "'Course not!"

"Then why were you in her room while she was..."

Daryl glared. "Why the hell were you comin' into her room this late anyway?"

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "I saw the light from under the door and wanted to check on her."

Daryl glanced at the crack and saw the soft glow from the candle light. He decided then and there that there was something that Rick needed to understand. "You say that you care about her and you wanna be with her?"

Rick nodded. "I do."

Daryl took a deep breath, readying himself. "Well, so do I."

Rick stared at him. He stared back. When Rick finally spoke he sounded deflated. "Are you just doing this because of what I said earlier?"

Daryl shook his head. "I shoulda done this a long time ago."

Rick raised a brow. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

Daryl held his anger at bay. It wasn't some big secret that Daryl Dixon was no ladies man. But he was pretty sure, when it came to Carol, he knew exactly what he was doing. It just felt right. There was a connection there that wasn't there with anyone else. She was the only person that really got him and she was the first person to ever tell him that he was a good man. He nodded, "I know what I'm doin'."

Rick was silent for a few long moments before he glanced at the door himself. "I'm not giving up."

Daryl shrugged. "Neither am I."

"And if she chooses me?" Rick asked.

Daryl shook his head. "Then she chooses you. I back off. But until she does, I ain't goin' nowhere."

"You sure you can handle losin' her?" Rick asked, a challenge in his voice.

"Can you?" Daryl replied. Rick was misjudging him if he thought that he was going to go down without a fight. The truth was, he knew he loved her. He had loved her for a long time. What he felt for her wasn't some spur of the moment feeling like what Rick was dealing with. Daryl hadn't ever admitted it to himself but this had been building from the moment he handed her that ax and watched her put it through her dead husband's brain. Rick didn't know that, but he didn't have too. It was the truth. And he was finally going to do something about it.

Rick gave him a swift nod and turned, going back into his room. When Daryl looked back at her door, there was no light shining under the crack. If he was going to do this then he needed to do it soon. Until tonight he hadn't thought about the physical aspect of being with her. He couldn't just claim her as his own and leave it at that. Even though the thought terrified him, he knew that he would have to open up. All the way up. He wanted to be with her. Hell, he flat out wanted her. He just hadn't known how much until tonight.

~H~

She settled down into the blankets, her skin chilled from her idiotic move at the waterfall. The large mens shirt was all she had on but it felt good not to be so weighed down with clothes. She slid her bare legs over the soft sheet but she hurriedly brought them back to the spot she had warmed up, burrowing down further. She was chilled everywhere but her face. That still flamed hotly.

She couldn't believe Rick had just barged in like that. She had barely been able to cover herself up. She hadn't worried about Daryl at all. She had known that he wouldn't try to sneak a peak but when she had glanced at him she had been surprised and appalled to see that he was grinning at a distraught Rick. And then he had actually turned his head to look at her, knowing she'd be in a compromising position. The nerve of both of them! What in the world was going on with them tonight?

She heard the click of the door and rolled her eyes. If Rick was coming in here to talk to her about what he had seen, or thought he had seen, then she would find something to hit him with. What he had walked into had been innocent. Sure, it wouldn't seem that way but that wasn't the point.

She was going to feign sleep until he went away but she flinched when she felt the bed dip slightly under his weight.

"Rick, I'm not in the mood to talk about it. I'm tired and I'm furious and I want you to get out," she hissed.

"You said I can stay," Daryl's voice caused her heart to beat a little faster in the darkness.

He surprised her by moving, lying down on the bed. He was at least a foot away but he may as well have been on top of her by how her body reacted to his proximity. It surprised her. When she had looked at him out there when they had been under the waterfall she had seen something strange in his eyes and for a few fleeting moments she had flirted with the idea that what she saw there was want. He looked as thought he wanted her. And then to find out that she had been shamelessly exposing herself to him, she had been mortified. But she had swallowed it down. She had swallowed it down because that primal look in his eyes had her mind muddled. Could he want her like that?

"I thought I told you to get out," she whispered, cursing her voice for shaking slightly. She wasn't sure what was going on, not between the two of them, or him and Rick or her and Rick but she knew that she was already tired of it. And then seeing him in those shorts. They did little to cover him and she had been rather impressed with what she had glimpsed through the thin silky fabric. For a brief moment, as he lay there next to her she wondered what it would be like to reach out and run her hand over the length of him. This thought had her breath catching in her throat. Why would she think something like that? When he responded she jumped in surprise. She had been lost in her dirty thoughts of him.

"I don't wanna sleep in the hall. So I'm sleepin' here. If you don't wanna share a bed then you go sleep on the floor."

She came up on her elbows. "Okay, fine. I will." She needed to get away from him if she was going to get any sleep. She sat up and threw the blanket off, fully prepared to go sleep in the hall. Only, she didn't even get her legs over the edge of the bed before she was grabbed by the wrist and pulled back to the center of the bed.

He probably hadn't done it on purpose, actually, she knew for a fact he hadn't just because she knew Daryl well enough to know these things about him, but he pulled her pretty hard. So hard, in fact, that she landed almost on top of him. It would take nothing for her to throw her leg the rest of the way over his hips until she was straddling him. There would be very little between them. A part of her thought that he wanted it.

Instead she eased away from him and collapsed back down onto her back. He let go of her and settled back himself. "No sense in bein' a baby about it."

She turned her head to tell him that he was an ass but he moved, rolling onto his side, so close that the heat from his body started warming her. An odd feeling came over her. One that she hadn't felt, maybe ever. With him so close, she felt _safe_. She blinked, staring up at the ceiling, willing the feeling to go away. Only, it didn't. She found her eyelids growing heavy as she gave in to the strange feeling, giving her muscles permission to truly relax. All those years with Ed, she had never felt safe with him lying next to her. She never knew when she would wake up to pain. And then when the world ended, you couldn't rest. Not truly. You had to stay on guard.

She almost hated it. She hated feeling like she needed to be protected but the horrible truth was, she felt like she was. He wouldn't ever let anything come through that door and hurt her._ He_ would never hurt her.

"You still awake?" His raspy whisper ran over her skin, leaving it tingling.

"Yeah," she whispered back.

"I didn't mean for tonight to get all fucked up. It was good to see ya happy for a minute though."

The sincerity in her voice had her lips turning up in a smile. She almost felt guilty for giving him such a hard time. "It didn't get... messed up. It felt good to feel that way. To feel free for a minute and just do something ridiculous. How did you know I needed that so badly?"

She felt his shrug. "Cause even if you don't like to admit it, I do know you."

The urge to move closer to him, to have him put an arm around her and hold her, was overwhelming. The urge wasn't driven by lust or a need to be physical with him. It was driven by a need to feel close to another human being. "You really do," she said softly.

She turned onto her side, her back to him. If she didn't roll away then she was bound to burrow into him and if she did that he would likely fall out of the bed to get away from her. So she stayed still, listening to his even breathing and then she heard him sigh. He shifted his weight and then, slowly, like if he moved too fast she would notice, he inched closer. She blinked and smiled. Maybe she wasn't the only one that just felt like being close to someone else.

She waited and he moved again. It was painful, knowing that he wasn't comfortable enough to just move and hold her so she took a deep breath, preparing herself for his instant rejection if she was reading him wrong, and scooted back. She didn't stop until she fit herself perfectly into the groove that his body made. She tensed when he did, waiting for him to move away but it never happened. He let out a long breath and then his arm went around her waist. She felt him move so his face was near the back of her neck and then, amazingly, he relaxed against her.

She reached for his hand, which was pressed against her stomach and surprising her further, he linked his fingers through hers. His presence seemed to wrap her in warmth and maybe even a little bit of hope.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

She had rolled over in her sleep. One bare leg was caught between his own and her arm was wrapped firmly around him. Her head was tucked under his chin. He had been awake for a long time, not moving for fear of waking her. She seemed to be sleeping so deep he probably could have screamed in her ear and barely gotten a reaction, but he kept himself still regardless. The large shirt she had warn to bed had ridden up her back when she moved around, exposing a good amount of skin. He traced lazy patterns against the softness there at the small of her back, knowing that this may be the only time he got a chance to do this. Eventually they would be back on the road and there would be no quiet moments to just be with her.

Occasionally his fingers would brush over a scar and he would trace it carefully, wondering when and how she had gotten it. When he had woken up, what felt like hours ago, he had been terrified that she would wake up and realize that he was sporting a severe morning erection that was straining against the flimsy shorts, pressing right up against her stomach. But he had had plenty of time to tame that traitorous beast and she hadn't woken up to find him in that embarrassing position.

One of his arms were trapped between them and had fallen asleep a while ago. He knew he wasn't going to be able to even move it once she wasn't mostly lying on it but he didn't care about this fact either. At the moment, for the first time in a very long time, Daryl Dixon really didn't have a care in the world. If he let his mind think about what may or may not happen once she woke up and found herself in this position then maybe he would care but he wasn't letting himself do that.

"You have no idea how good that feels," her voice was muffled from where her face was pressed into neck.

He went still when he heard her voice, his fingers stopping as he waited for her to pull away. Then her actual words penetrated his panic and he relaxed again, continuing on with his timid explorations of her skin.

"How long you been awake?" He whispered, opening his eyes to the dimly lit room.

She shrugged delicately. "Long enough," he felt her lips turn up and then realized that those lips were less than a breath away from his throat.

Surely she hadn't been awake through his battle with morning wood. His face flamed at the thought and then he felt her breath as she laughed softly. He huffed. He hated to do it but it was time to face the day. They needed a plan. He needed to talk to Rick about what their next move might be. She sighed heavily and rolled onto her back.

"I should have known not to say anything. You're so sweet when you think I'm sleeping." He followed suit and glanced at her. She was staring up at the ceiling, looking petulant.

"I gotta get outta these stupid clothes and figure out what the hell we're gonna do in a few days. You'll be ready to go by then."

She nodded and then her eyes slid over, locking onto his. "Thank you for not letting me kick you out. I don't think I've slept that good in a long time."

He nodded, like he had only done it as some great favor to her. She knew what he was doing and rolled her eyes. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. He really didn't want to leave the bed. He really didn't want to leave her but now that she was conscious, he couldn't think of a reason to just lay there with her without things getting awkward.

"Five more minutes?" She asked suddenly.

He yawned and then looked at her. "Five more minutes?"

She nodded and sat up, placing a hand on his chest and shoving hard. His head hit the pillow hard and he turned his head to stare at her with wide eyes. She laid back down and burrowed into his side, her arm wrapping around his torso and her head using his arm for a pillow. That was something he never would have guessed. She was damn bold in the morning.

"Yes. Just five more minutes and then everything can go back to normal," she said, sounding almost sad.

"What's normal?" He asked.

She pulled the blanket up higher and closed her eyes. "Normal is hard. Normal is lonely. It's cold."

Instinct had him wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer into his side. He didn't say anything because he wasn't sure what to say. He hated that what she said was the truth. The series of events that took place last night, from the startling kick to the nose to her getting caught without any clothes on had led them to a near perfect moment. He was too damn jaded to assume it was going to last. Good things didn't. They were walking proof of that. So he indulged her and five minutes turned into ten and ten minutes turned into both of them falling back to sleep.

An undetermined amount of time later Daryl woke to the sound of someone knocking. He rolled back over onto his back and looked up at the door just as it opened. He was expecting Rick. It wasn't Rick. It was Glenn. He sat up quickly as Glenn's eyes widened as much as they could.

"I... er... I thought you were out hunting. I was just... I thought I'd see how Carol was..." He cut off his words and smiled. "Carry on," he motioned and then backed out of the room.

Daryl sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Son of a bitch. He didn't want this. Rick coming in was okay but now Glenn thought that there was more to this than there was. Carol hadn't even stirred and when he glanced at her his eyes widened. The blanket they had used had worked its way off of her legs. All Glenn was probably able to see was her naked thigh. Daryl covered her up before she caught him staring at her and then shook her shoulder.

She opened her eyes and then instantly sat up. "We fell asleep."

"Yeah, and Glenn came in for a wake up call," he said gruffly as he slid out of bed. "At least now everybody will have somethin' to talk about."

She got up and pulled on a pair of jeans he had never seen before but wouldn't mind seeing more of. She turned around, her back to him. "That bothers you, doesn't it? That they would think the wrong thing?" She asked over her shoulder and then his eyes went wide as she shrugged right out of the shirt, giving him a view of her back.

He couldn't think about her question until she slipped a dark tank top over her head. When he was finally able to think he kind of surprised them both. "Nah. Gives them somethin' less depressin' to think about I guess."

She turned around, her eyes bright. I'll go ahead and get your clothes," she said as she walked past him. "They might still be damp but I'm sure you don't want to walk around in that all day. No matter how adorable you look."

She was out the door so she didn't hear him snort loudly.

~H~

Carol breezed through the living room, avoiding the eyes of the others as they watched her pass. She did the same in the kitchen. She walked right out the back door wordlessly, retrieved Daryl's clothes where she had hung them on the banister then hurried back through the house. No one said anything as she passed but she knew they were all burning with curiosity. She hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt. Maybe she wouldn't be embarrassed if her and Daryl had actually done something the night before but their whispering was wasted. It was a very innocent night. It was a perfect night, actually. She almost hated that it would be sullied by a couple of dirty minds.

She entered the room and tried not to smile. He was standing in front of the window, arms crossed, hair disheveled. He looked so much different in such casual clothes. She touched his arm and was surprised when he nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun around. She couldn't help but wonder what had his thoughts so consumed that he hadn't even heard her. It wasn't like him.

He took the clothes from her and nodded.

"No morning show either?" She raised her brow and smiled as his face reddened. "Okay, I'll go."

She headed downstairs leaving him in peace for now. She felt much better than she had after her and Rick's less than daring rescue. She felt more rested than she had in a long time. Those were all good things. There was just one thing troubling her, however and the thing that troubled her was just one irritating question. Why? Why had Daryl taken her last night? Why had he insisted on sharing her bed? It was those things that had a frown forming between her brows. The thing about Daryl was, she was almost certain he had already given her everything he had to give, and she didn't take that lightly. He was her friend. He was a provider and a protector. And after secretly wishing he could give her that last little bit for a long time, she had given up believing that he had it in him to give.

She hated to admit it but it was frustrating. It wasn't that she wasn't happy with what he had already offered. But after this morning, all she could think about was more. And more wasn't an option. It was frustrating. She made her way out to the barn to relieve whoever was on watch. It turned out it was Sasha and Michonne.

"How was your night?" Rick asked from behind her.

She sighed and sat down on a moldering bale of hay. "It was restful. How was yours?"

He sat down next to her and shrugged. "It was fitful." He chuckled and glanced at her from under the lock of hair that fell in front of his eyes. "I'm ready for you to be better so we can keep going."

"Where are we going?" She asked, glancing at him before looking out over the yard.

He sighed and his eyes turned troubled. "I don't know yet. I thought maybe we should all talk about that."

"Mmm, so you've given up your Ricktatorship for good this time?" She hadn't meant to say it out loud but she had. The look on his face had her laughing.

"Giving up my what?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind. I think it'd be good to talk about where to head to next."

"Any ideas? If you could choose, where would you want to go?" He asked, meeting her eyes and holding them steadily.

The question took her aback, not because of the content of his words but the fact that they were a mirror image of the ones Daryl had spoken to her the night before. She looked away, suddenly aware of how close they were sitting, their thighs pressed together. "I don't really know how to answer that. Would anywhere be safe?"

He pushed his hair out of his face and followed her gaze. "There has to be somewhere. There seems to be pattern that I've noticed that I want to bring up."

"A pattern?"

"Yeah, a pattern. Woodbury, Terminus, the Prison."

"What's the pattern?" She asked, truly intrigued.

He turned to meet her eyes and she could see the pain behind his gaze. "They all crumbled because of madmen. But we're stronger now. We know more of what to expect and I think if we build somethin' again, we can keep it."

"Rick, you weren't a mad man," she said softly, her hand resting on his forearm.

He nodded. "Yeah. I was. I saw... Lori everywhere I looked. I heard things. I was a mess and then I just gave up. When I did start putting the pieces back together I was still on shaky ground. I could have done more and the prison would still be standing. And what I did to you..." his voice trailed off and he turned away again. "I was," he nodded. "But I'm stronger now and I know I can build something. For Carl and Judith. We can start over and we can make a life. If we don't try then there isn't any reason we shouldn't just end it all here."

She thought about that and nodded. "What about the coast? I mean, we were willing to travel all the way to D.C. Why don't we just head for the ocean. There would be food, we could find something there and we can start building."

He seemed to turn the thought over in his mind and then smiled ruefully. "When I was a kid my parents took me to South Carolina once to visit some crazy old aunt of my mom's. It was a place called Pawleys Island. I don't remember much of it but what I do remember, it was pretty amazing. We can become a group of beach bums, huh? I don't know. I don't think Abraham has the skin tone for that."

She laughed with him but he sobered quickly. "We'll bring it up in a while, when we're all together. I was thinking of a few teams walking out a ways, look for any signs of a herd or any other trouble. What do you think?"

She shrugged. "I'm feeling up to that. I walked with Daryl last night. Me and him could-"

"Nah," he shook his head. "I'd rather him stay back. I was gonna go and I don't want both of us out there. Me and you can go north and Tyreese and Glenn can head south a ways. It shouldn't be a hard walk for you."

She agreed but for some reason had an uneasy feeling in her stomach.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hope everyone is having a safe weekend. Thank you for reading. I'm glad you're still enjoying it =)**

**Chapter Eleven**

He paced in front of her like a caged animal, eyes narrowed, mouth set in a thin angry line, arms swinging like they always did when he was this upset. She waited next to Rick, giving him time to collect his thoughts as she watched his feral movements with childlike wonder. It was one of her most guarded secrets. She was completely fascinated with this side of him and had been ever since the farm. The night she had come to him after Sophia had been found he had acted similar to this. That night she had been sure he would hit her. When he didn't she had puzzled over the reasons why. She understood now, of course, that he just wasn't the type of man to do that, no matter how angry he was, and that was where it got... odd. There was so much potential for violence that it made him dangerous, but she was so very certain that he was harmless, even in this state, that she could appreciate the beauty of this side of him. He had grown into a different person from those days. That was clear. But deep down, at his core, Daryl would always be more in tune with that primal side of himself than anyone else she had ever encountered. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but she couldn't help but wonder what other situations may bring out that beast that seemed to slumber inside of him. If he ever did break through those chains that held him back from intimate situations, would this be what was hiding under the shy uncertainty? She shivered visibly at the thought.

"Daryl, listen," Rick began but Daryl wasn't about to hear anything else Rick had to say at the moment.

"No, you listen. She ain't goin'," he barked, stopping in front of Rick and glaring angrily, chest heaving.

Carol felt her eyes widen. She watched a bead of sweat slip down his jaw, over his throat and then disappear down the open collar of his shirt. He licked his lips and then his eyes cut to her, angry, unforgiving, all consuming. She swallowed hard and forced herself to stop staring at his mouth. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Daryl, it's not far. You took me further last night."

He shook his head. "I ain't never left with you and not brought you back either. No!" He took a step towards Rick and jabbed an angry finger in his direction. "You ain't takin' her. I put up with a lot of your shit, Rick, but I ain't riskin' it."

Rick glared. "You don't have any claim on her, Daryl. She wants to go and she has free will to do so. You're not her keeper and neither am I. She's a grown woman."

"If she leaves with you then she's a goddamn grown idiot," he yelled.

"Can I talk to you alone?" She asked suddenly, trying to put enough force into her voice to be heard over the two men.

Rick looked from Daryl to her, made a face and then nodded. "Yeah. But don't let him talk you out of going."

Daryl surprised her further by flipping Rick off before she had him by the arm, leading him to the barn. It was strange since she hadn't seen him and Rick act like this since the quarry. They were usually very much in sync with one another. Glenn's words came back to her but she pushed them to the back of her mind. Refusing, not for the first time, to believe that she was somehow the cause of this. Rick didn't truly have feelings for her. What she felt for Daryl was real and deep but would never morph into anything like a relationship and as for Daryl, she knew that he loved her but it was a very platonic love and would never go anywhere. Their bickering was just an aftermath of the stress they had all been under. All of them were stretched tight and about to snap.

"Daryl, what are you doing?" She asked once they were behind the barn. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a look that she hoped would let him know how ridiculous she thought he was acting.

"I'm tryin' to save your ass. What happened the last time you took off with Rick without me?" He snapped, proceeding to pace.

She refused to let her mind wonder this time. "You know as well as I do that he feels bad about what he did. He won't leave me out there. We're not even walking out a mile. If he tries to leave me I'll just walk back here and tell you all about it and then you can scream at him. And flip him the bird. What is this really about?"

He stopped pacing and glared at her. Her hands went to her hips and she glared right back.

"Don't you think you can bully me, Daryl Dixon. Answer the question."

He snorted and threw up his hands. "You know what this is about, don't you? You can't be that stupid!"

"Well, apparently I am that stupid because I don't see the danger of going out there with him. I don't need protected, Daryl. I can take care of myself."

"It ain't about that. He wants to..." He cut off his words and made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, avoiding her eyes.

"He wants to what?" She asked, growing more angry by the second.

He stopped and stared at her, really stared. He eyed her from head to toe and seemed to have no shame in doing so. "He's got this stupid idea in his head that the two of you should..." He voice trailed off and he grimaced.

"Spit it out!"

"He wants to be with you, stupid! I don't know if it's cause of the guilt over what he did to you or if he's bought himself another one way ticket on the damn crazy train, but that's why he wants you to go with him. That's why he's been followin' you around like some kind of lost puppy and that's why you shouldn't go anywhere with him." He took in a gulp of much needed air, since he had delivered all of that with a single breath.

Now she was the one glaring, her arms crossed over her chest in a subconscious effort to protect herself from the blow of his words. She didn't let it hurt for very long. She swallowed it down and met his stare. She was proud that he actually seemed to lose a bit of steam. He stilled his pacing, his eyes going from furious to confused. She shook her head. "So, the only reason someone would want to be with me is because they either felt like they owed it to me or because they were actually insane?" Her voice was like ice, even to her own ears, freezing the air around him.

He scowled. "What? No! Don't turn my words around like that."

"I didn't have to turn them around. Your delivery was pretty straight."

He gaped at her. "Oh, for fuck's sake, Carol!"

"We're done here. I'll see you when we get back." She turned on her heel and was about to stalk away but he grabbed her arm, his grip firm.

"The hell we are."

"You ready?" Rick asked, coming around the side of the barn. Daryl dropped his hand from her arm and she didn't turn to look at Daryl as she stormed past Rick. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes. It was probably just allergies but she didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

She adjusted her rifle once they were on the road. Rick kept casting sideways glances at her but he didn't say anything for a while. She was actually the one that broke the silence. "If we see any vehicles?" She asked tightly.

"We hit the ditch and head for the trees. I'm not taking any chances," He said without hesitation.

She nodded in agreement.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

She shook her head, keeping her chin up. She wasn't about to get into this conversation with him. Not after the fight that the two of them had already had this morning. It was better to just bury it.

"He cares about you, ya know?" Rick said. Now he was hesitant, like he was going to regret his next words. "He just don't know how to handle that. He's kind of inexperienced when it comes to caring about somebody the way he does you. He's gonna mess up."

Hearing him defend Daryl just confirmed that Daryl's fears of Rick wanting to whisk her off and have his way with her were unfounded. "I'm not an idiot, Rick. I know he cares about me. Let's just agree that he's a tactless jackass and leave it at that."

Rick chuckled. "Gladly."

Silence reigned for a while after that and it was her that broke that silence again when she noticed a flash of color a little ways off the road through the trees. She grabbed Rick's arm and pointed. He squinted in the direction and then glanced at her. She shrugged. "Looks like a truck."

He nodded and grabbed her hand, leading her towards the trees. Once they got closer they could tell that it was a pick up truck covered in kudzu vines.

"It's been here a while but it's worth checkin' out," he muttered.

They worked on ridding the vines that had hidden the truck in the first place. Carol was relieved to see the cab empty and the door ajar. Whoever had ran the truck off the road had at least managed to get out. She was getting tired of dealing with bodies all the time. She looked up as Rick pulled the driver's side door open. She rummaged through the glove compartment but there was nothing there that was useful other than a flashlight and a few unopened packages of batteries. She shoved these into her bag and then stepped back.

She moved to the bed of the truck but other than a few rusted tools, it also proved to be empty. There was one of those large metal tool boxes that was now rusting away to nothing. Rick opened it up on his side and reached in. He pulled out, what looked like, an old tape player.

"Haven't seen one of those in a while," she said, glancing around to make sure the coast was still clear.

He held it by the handle and smiled. "You and me both." He went back to the cab for a few seconds and then came around, shoving something into his pack.

"What was that?" She asked, quirking a brow at him.

He shrugged. "Tapes. Maybe some music will do us some good."

She shook her head smiling indulgently even though she didn't really feel like smiling at all. "There's enough room in my pack for this," she said as she took the little stereo from him. She stuck it inside with the flashlight and the batteries and zipped up. "You think we've walked far enough?"

He squinted as he looked towards the direction they had been heading. "I was planning on walking farther but it all seems quiet. We can head back."

"That makes you nervous, doesn't it? The quiet."

He fell in step beside her, their arms barely brushing as they walked. "It does. It seems like that's when all hell seems to break loose. We've been lucky for the last few days and I keep wondering when that luck is finally gonna give."

There really wasn't any way to respond to that so she stayed quiet. The rest of the walk was like that. There was nothing but the sounds of the their feet hitting the pavement and the occasional bird singing in the trees. She almost wished he would start talking again because in the silence all she could think about were Daryl's words.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry if my Rick hate is seeping into this story. I'm really trying to keep it under control. Here is a longer chapter for you anyway. Thanks for reading =)**

**Chapter Twelve**

He couldn't sit still. He replayed the conversation in his mind several times and winced every time he did. Of course she had misunderstood what he was saying and of course he wasn't able to explain anything to her. So she was pissed off, hurt and off with Rick, who was a hell of a lot smoother than Daryl ever would be. He knew the right things to say to people. Surely he wouldn't make her feel like shit about herself. He wanted to punch something but he didn't. Not again anyway. When she had stormed off with Rick he had given in to the urge and punched the side of the barn. The barn was a lot tougher than it looked and now his knuckles were a bloody mess. Why the hell had Rick decided that Carol was the one he wanted to be with? Why couldn't the asshole just leave things alone?

Tara had brought him some water but she hadn't said anything. One look at his face had her hurrying back to her own side of the house. Other than that everyone was avoiding him. But what did he expect? It was like he was regressing back to his pissed off old self. And he picked a real good time to do that too. He had felt good after waking up with her this morning and all of that was all fucked up now.

He scanned the tree line and then his eyes went back to the road. His stomach did a flip when he saw them. They were walking close together. Too close. He sighed heavily, anger giving way to self pity which only made him even more angry. Things were so much easier on him before almost dying and realizing that the things he had been feeling for Carol were very deep and very real. Being her friend had been second nature. This was a pain in the ass.

Rick broke away from her once they hit the yard, heading towards him while she stormed into the house without a backwards glance. He stared at the door she had closed behind her until Rick nudged him. "What the hell did you say to her?" He asked.

Daryl scowled. "I told her you wanted to get with her," he muttered dejectedly.

Rick chuckled. "That wasn't how you put it though, was it?"

He shook his head. It wasn't that he wanted to talk to Rick about it but truthfully, other than Carol, Rick was closer to him than anyone else. If he didn't have her then he was kind of stuck talking to Rick. "No. I told her that you were probably just feelin' that way out of guilt for kickin' her out. Either that or you were goin' crazy again."

Rick groaned. "No wonder she's upset. You pretty much just told the woman that a man would have to be crazy to want her. You're really bad at this, you know that?"

Daryl's scowl deepened and he finally tore his eyes off the door and looked at Rick. "What the hell do you care? Figured you'd get a kick out of me messin' up."

Rick sighed and clapped him on the shoulder. "I've told you before. You're my brother. I don't plan on this ruining that and I don't plan on sabotaging something if it's meant to be."

"Well don't expect the same favor," Daryl grumbled.

Rick laughed. "I hope so."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Rick took a stepped away and glanced over his shoulder. "I was worried there for a minute. But I just realized something."

"What?"

Rick shook his head and kept walking. "You're really bad at this."

Daryl scowled after him. A part of him felt relieved that Rick wasn't going to let this development fracture their friendship. He thought about how he would feel if she chose to be with Rick. He pictured it in his minds eye. Rick's hand holding hers. Rick's lips kissing her. He grimaced and shook the image from his mind. He realized then the difference between him and Rick. Maybe Rick was ready to be with another woman and maybe he could see that woman being Carol. But he didn't love her. Not like that. Not like Daryl did.

"You look like you've been sucking on a lemon," Glenn said, seeming to come out of nowhere.

Daryl met his eyes briefly and then turned on his heel to head back to the barn. He heard Glenn following him.

"So, you and Carol, huh? It's about time. I've been saying it for years. You two have been dancing around this thing for so long it was really starting to bug me, ya know? And then Rick decides that you aren't ever going to make a move and then I kind of got worried."

Daryl gave him a sidelong look. This sounded very much like the old Glenn. The kid from the quarry. Glenn had gone through his own changes over the years and it was actually nice seeing him this excited about something. Too bad he was about to burst his bubble.

"What you saw this mornin' was nothin'. We shared a bed. That was it. We've shared the ground before too. Hell, not long ago we shared a bunk bed. That don't mean shit. Stop gawkin' at my business like it's some kind of soap opera."

Glenn's excitement dimmed and his face fell a little. "You're right. It's a lot easier to watch good things happen to you than to think about what Maggie's going through, though," he said quietly.

Daryl felt a stab of pain and guilt. Of course Glenn would try to grasp onto whatever he could to keep his mind off of Maggie's torment. He didn't envy the kid at all. He snorted, drawing Glenn's attention. "If it makes you feel any better, I was gonna give it a shot but I mucked it up already." There, talking to the kid for a minute wasn't so bad.

Glenn grinned. "Yeah?"

Daryl nodded and he sighed warily. This shit was exhausting.

"So that's why she looks like she wants to tear someone's head off," Glenn mused.

Daryl shrugged. "Yep. That'd be me."

Glenn laughed softly, causing Daryl to grimace. "You know," Glenn said, meeting his eyes, "You can mess up over and over and it won't matter. Carol's loved you since the day you threw those squirrels at Rick. She'll forgive you. You just have to- I don't know, kiss her ass."

Daryl looked at him like he was insane not just because he claimed that Carol actually loved him but because he suggested kissing Carol's ass. "I don't kiss people's ass. She's the one that took it the wrong way. I didn't do anything."

Glenn shook his head. "That doesn't matter. You're gonna have to swallow your pride and kiss her ass. Then if you're really lucky, in a day or so, she'll realize you're the love of her life and she'll let it go."

He snorted. "A day or so, huh?"

Glenn nodded solemnly. "You think about what you're plan is to make up for whatever you said. I'll see you later."

Daryl watched him walk away, his shoulders slumped. He really didn't envy Glenn.

~H~

Carol wasn't in the mood to be around the others. She went to her room and sat down heavily on the side of the bed. She still felt much better, even after the walk and if Rick wanted to go now she was sure that she would be able to handle it. She would miss the room and the bed but they had to go and she understood that. As much as she hated to admit it, Rick was right. Things had been too quiet. Too easy over the past few days.

She had thought that she was getting over Daryl's insensitive words while she was gone with Rick but upon seeing him standing there when she had returned, her anger had returned also. Rick had even gone out of his way to try to get her to take it easy on him. Well, she planned on it. She planned on staying the hell away from him. That was easier said than done though. Everything was falling on the shoulders of the rest of the group and she couldn't just hide out and let them take care of everything. Their problems were literally her problems so she was going to have to go back down there eventually.

With a feeling of trepidation she left the room, ready to take on whatever needed to be done for the group. Sasha and Tara didn't hesitate to hand over Judith once she asked them what she could do to help and the majority of her day was consumed with the happy child. It did wonders for her, even though being with Judith like this again did hurt. She also helped ration out the food that Tyreese and Rick had managed to scrounge up in the town. Daryl didn't come back inside, which had her worrying until Abraham mentioned he had went out hunting. That was what he did when he was upset. He left. Too bad she didn't have the same privilege. Any time she had to find a moments peace he ended up showing up out of nowhere. So she filled her day with mundane tasks until it got dark and Daryl still wasn't back, then her annoyance turned to worry.

Rick came in the back door just as she stepped into the kitchen, Judith on her hip. He grinned at the child and took her from Carol's arms.

"If he isn't back in ten minutes I'm going out there to find him," she said, glancing at the dark window behind him. "He should have been back by now."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "He's been back for a few hours, actually. He lucked out, got us a pretty hefty buck. He's finishing up with it now. We'll be eating good tonight."

She felt the tension leave her body at this news. Angry or not, she didn't want him getting hurt. Now she felt even more annoyed that he hadn't at least let her know that he was back in one piece. Rick studied her and then tried to hide a smile.

"What?" She asked, irritated.

"You're mad again."

She scoffed and breezed past him, heading out the door and to the barn. It wasn't bad enough that he had to insult her today but then he had to make her worry about him too? She found him at the back of the barn, skewering meat and letting it cook over the flames of a small fire. No one from the road would have seen it. He stood up and turned at her approach, his hand going to the bow strap. When he saw that it was only her he relaxed and turned back to what he was doing without a word. She could already smell the meat cooking and her stomach gave a loud embarrassing growl, causing him to chuckle.

"I didn't figure I'd see you out here," he said after a few silent moments. His voice was tight, like she had been the one to do something wrong today.

"Why didn't you let the rest of us know you were back?" She asked, not trying to hide her anger.

"Rick knew I was back," he said without turning.

She made a disgruntled sound and crossed her arms but she took a few steps closer until she was only slightly behind him and to the side. She was about to say something else but he turned.

"Could you just open your mouth without bitching about somethin'?" He asked gruffly.

Her mouth dropped open, not because he asked her to but because she was surprised at his words. As soon as her lips parted she felt his rough fingers sliding something into her mouth. Her first instinct was to spit out the offending object but then she tasted it and she chewed.

"Is that all it's gonna take to get you to shut up?" He asked, his eyebrows raised.

"That was rude," she muttered but when he offered another piece she took it, only this time she was expecting it so it wasn't as surprising. She blamed bad timing for what happened next. She thought she was in the clear to close her mouth but her lips closed over his finger instead. He grew still, his eyes darkening before he removed his finger, slower than necessary. With wide eyes she watched him stick the same finger into his own mouth. The gesture seemed much more erotic, much more intimate than it actually was but she couldn't help it. He sucked the finger clean and then raised an eyebrow at her.

She swallowed hard and then remembered that there was an unchewed piece of meat in her mouth. She winced but luckily didn't choke. His eyes lingered on her for a few more moments before he turned back to his task.

"You mind tellin' the others to get their asses out here. I ain't playin' waiter," he said in a low voice.

She nodded but he didn't see her. She turned around and started back towards the house, her heart thumping wildly, which only confused her further. It was just like earlier, watching him give in to his anger, it had the same effect on her body. She grumbled to herself, wishing, not for the first time, that she didn't have these untimely reactions to him. Especially now.

She found almost everyone sitting in the living room. Maggie and Glenn were probably upstairs. Maggie spent most of her time up there, grieving for her sister. After what happened to her father at the prison, she was taking the death extra hard. Carol couldn't blame her. For the most part, all of them were much harder considering the losses they had endured and the death that they had experienced, but Beth's death hit in a different way. She had been little more than a child herself.

"Daryl said to come get it, if any of you are hungry," she said, a little breathlessly.

They all got up, filing past her. Tyreese stopped suddenly, tilting his head, his face bathed in shadow. "Are you okay? You look flushed. Maybe you're over doing it."

She flushed even deeper and shook her head. "I'm more than fine."

He nodded and went ahead of her. She was about to follow him but decided to do one more thing real quick. She headed up the stairs and paused outside of the room that Glenn shared with Maggie. She tapped lightly and waited. Glenn came to the door, looking haggard. Maggie was curled up on the bed, her back to the door.

"Daryl got lucky today and brought back a deer. If you want I can bring you and Maggie a plate," she said, glancing past him again.

To her surprise Maggie rolled over and sat up. Her eyes were red rimmed and wet. The look on her face had the breath catching in Carol's throat. Glenn turned. "Maggie," he muttered, a warning in his voice.

She ignored him, cold eyes still settled on Carol. "So, again, he managed to go out there alone and come back in one piece," she spat the words like venom. "He does a real good job of lookin' out for himself, doesn't he?"

Carol had to force herself to remain calm. She didn't say anything at all, instead looking at Glenn. He just hung his head, shaking it back and forth.

Maggie stood up, wiping at the tears under her eyes. "If he can make it back in one piece then why was it so hard for him to keep my sister safe? All he had to do was make sure nothing happened to her until they found us and he didn't care enough to bother!" Maggie's voice was becoming louder, more unhinged.

"Maggie, he did everything he could do. You of all people know what it's like out there-"

"Dont!" Maggie snarled, cutting her off. "Don't you dare give me that. He made sure you got out of Grady. You walked out. He brought me a corpse!"

Deep down, Carol knew that Maggie was only saying these things because she was in pain. She knew that the girl wasn't thinking clearly. But she wasn't going to let anyone, even Maggie, accuse him of not caring enough. As far as Carol was concerned, he had cared more than Maggie had. "We were both about to walk out of Grady, Maggie. Beth was the one that went after Dawn, knowing the woman was armed. Daryl had nothing to do with your sister getting herself killed. The only two people that hasn't accepted that is you and him. He did everything he could for her and she died because of a stupid move." Her voice had remained calm but there was something strange simmering in the tone. Her hands were shaking and then she realized what the emotion was. Rage. "And don't you dare say a word to him about it. If I recall, you knew she was alive and you were on a bus to Washington while me and him both were almost killed trying to rescue her."

Carol didn't give the other woman a chance to say anything else. She spun around and slammed right into Daryl chest. She looked up and she could tell by the haunted look in his eyes that he had heard it all.

**Sorry if I've offended any Maggie fans out there but I don't know how she is going to react once the show comes back on so in this story I needed her to react like this. There is a reason behind it that you'll find out later. Again, thanks for reading. Much love to you guys for sticking with this, even though it's moving slow. =)**


	13. Chapter 13

**May I make a suggestion before you read this? If you aren't familiar with a song called Islands in the Stream by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, you should give it a listen towards the middle of this chapter. Trust me... you won't regret it. Huge huge thanks to Halohunter89 on this one. We rely on each other, Ahh Ahh... Oh God. I'm laughing again. Anyway, I really hope you all get a chuckle out of this chapter because it was really really fun to write. Thank you for reading =)**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Glenn shut the door, plunging the hallway into darkness except for the meager light coming from downstairs. Daryl hadn't moved. He'd had the same idea Carol had. In his hands he held a plate piled full of meat. He had known they weren't going to come down and he was really feeling bad for Glenn.

To his surprise Carol took the plate from him and barged right into the room, he watched her step right past a stunned Maggie and slam it down on the table. In the light he could see the anger glinting in her eyes.

Maggie looked up her face contorting with anger now that she had a second to collect herself after Carol's harsh delivery. "You're the one that he should have carried out of Grady. After everything you've done, you deserved it more than Beth."

Daryl's teeth clenched and he was about to storm in there and give Maggie a piece of his own mind. Carol had stopped in her tracks, stiffening at Maggie's words. She met his eyes and shook her head slightly before she walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

"Are you okay?" She asked, taking a step closer.

It took him a second to realize what she meant. When Maggie had first started throwing accusations around like that he had actually taken a step back at their impact. But what Carol said had been right. He had no control over what happened at Grady. No more than Rick or any of the others had. He had felt responsible for Beth because she did get taken right out from under his nose, but really, that hadn't been his fault either. "I'm alright," he said, unable to mask the sadness in his voice. Whether it was his fault or not, being reminded of that day still hurt. He had watched another girl die.

She nodded swiftly and stepped around him. He could almost feel the anger radiating off of her but he wasn't sure how to proceed. He let her walk away, not knowing what else to do. He wanted to talk to her, to make sure she was really alright, but he didn't know how to go about it. He was glad to see that she didn't retreat to the bedroom. She went straight down the stairs and he followed after her, ready to do damage control if she tried to do something stupid, like leave.

He didn't have to worry about that. She went to the fire, where the others were gathered, eating their fill of the venison he had prepared. He would have let someone else do the cooking but it had been so long since they had anything really worth eating he hadn't trusted anyone else and he hadn't wanted to ask Carol. She took a plate from Michonne and sat down on one of the logs surrounding the small flames of the fire. He sat down next to her but she didn't look up. He thought of that look he had seen in her eyes last night, that rare happy look. He wished there was a way he could make her look like that again. If it wasn't for the fact that he knew how much pain the girl was in he would go right back inside, march up the stairs and tell Maggie Greene to go fuck herself. But he understood her anger. He was known to lash out himself when he was hurting like that.

"You gonna eat all that?" He asked, when she cleaned half the plate without saying a word.

She looked up, meeting his eyes. "Daryl, please tell me you're not insinuating that I'm fat." She didn't sound amused.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Can you cut me slack? You know I don't think you're fat."

The ghost of a smile graced her lips. "I got enough for you too. Old habits die hard ya know?" Instead of handing him the plate she did what he had done earlier. She held up a piece.

He glanced around, surprised to see that they were the only two left sitting there. He reached for it but she pulled it away, popping it into her own mouth. He scowled and snatched the plate away, digging in with gusto as she watched.

"I shouldn't even be sitting here sharing. I'm still furious with you," she said as she stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles.

He sucked his fingers clean before saying anything, giving himself a few moments to think about how to proceed. Glenn had said that he needed to kiss her ass but he wasn't about to step down to Glenn's level. When Maggie wasn't out of her mind with grief she dragged that poor kid around by the nostrils half the time. It was pretty sad. He wasn't Glenn and Carol definitely wasn't Maggie, thank God. "Don't start. You know damn well what I meant today. You turned that shit around because you wanted too. Any excuse you can find to pull back a little, you take it. Just like that shit that Maggie said. You're gonna find a way to make it work for you so you ain't gotta face things you don't wanna face."

She stared at him, that small spark of humor that he had seen a second ago vanished. "That's not true."

He nodded and didn't bother to swallow his food before he spoke again. "Yeah it is. You know me better than that. You knew what I meant earlier and you were just too fuckin' stubborn to admit it."

She gaped at him and he had half a mind to stick some more food in her mouth so he wouldn't have to listen to her bitching. "So you think you got me all figured out, huh?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I've said it before. You like to think nobody's figured you out. I have."

She met his eyes looking like she was ready to fight it for a second and then she seemed to deflate. "And you aren't gonna use Maggie's words as an excuse to pull away? You're guilty of the same things I'm guilty of when it comes to shutting people out."

He stared at the flames. "I was," he said quietly.

"What changed?" She asked, turning her body so she could give him her undivided attention.

He sat the empty plate on the ground and draped his arms over his knees, keeping his eyes on the fire. "I got trapped in the bathroom at the pharmacy. There wasn't a way out and those fuckin' walkers were breakin' the door down. I wasn't gonna make it out of there and I knew it. You know how they say that right before you die things get clear?"

He saw her slight nod from the corner of his eyes.

"Well, things got pretty fuckin' clear. Every fuck up I've made up until goin' into that building half cocked was starin' me in the face. And then I decided that I wasn't ready to die yet. I still had a whole lot of shit to do."

"Like what?" She asked in half whisper.

He finally tore his eyes away from the fire, meeting hers. His heart was thundering wildly and he was concerned it was going to beat right out of his chest before he could get the words out of his mouth. He angled his body like she had done, their knees barely brushing. "Like there was too much shit left unsaid," he muttered.

She blinked and he could have sworn that he could see the artery in her neck jumping wildly as her own pulse raced. That was a good thing, right?

He decided that this was it. He needed to just man up and finally tell her. He needed to do it now before it was too late and something happened to one of them. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever her reply would be. But nothing came out. Suddenly, breaking the stillness and tension that had enveloped them, there was the sound of music coming from somewhere nearby. Maybe the barn. And then Daryl heard the distinct voice of... Kenny Rogers.

_"Baby when I met you there was peace unknown... I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb, I was soft inside, there was somethin' goin' on..._

Daryl choked on the words he was about to say, sputtering, his face flaming as Dolly Parton chimed in...

_You do somethin' to me that I can't explain. Hold me closer and I feel no pain, every beat of my heart, we got something going on..._

Carol glanced around and then her eyes went extremely wide as they landed on him. "Daryl?" But he barely heard her because the blood was rushing behind his ears.

_Tender love is blind, it requires a dedication. All this love we feel needs no conversation, we ride it together... Ah Ah... Makin' love with each other... Ah Ah._

Daryl knew then what was going on. And he was going to find Rick Grimes and he was going to strangle him.

_Islands in the stream, that is what we are, no one in between, how can we be wrong? Sail away with me, to another world..._

_"_Daryl, are you okay?" She looked worried, and she looked embarrassed and she looked completely stunned.

He shook his head, glancing around to see if that bastard was hiding somewhere and watching.

_And we rely on each other, uh huh, From one lover to another, uh huh..._

"Daryl, did you... Did you plan this?" She asked, those huge eyes studying him carefully.

_I can't live without you if the love was gone... Everything is nothing if you got no one, and you walk in the night, slowly losin' sight of the real thing..._

He glanced down at their knees, barely touching as they faced one another. He looked over to the low burning fire. He even glanced up at the stars that filled the night sky. If ever their was a cheesy romantic situation, this was it and it very well did look planned.

_But that won't happen to us and we've got no doubt... Too deep in love and we got no way out... And the message is clear, this could be the year for the real thing..._

He jumped up from the log because he couldn't just sit there anymore with her looking at him and that son of a bitching song playing. "I gotta go," he said, backing away and nearly tripping over another log.

"Daryl, hold on..."

He stumbled again as she stood up and took a step closer. He couldn't talk to her. Not right now. He definitely couldn't have this be the sound track of his epic confession. He didn't actually run away but he did hurry off, right into the barn, following the sound of the music. He was hoping Rick was in the loft because if he was he was going to throw him out of it. He found the tape player sitting next to the door. He wanted to kick it but he simply picked it up by the handle and pushed the stop button. The night around him sounded exceptionally quiet without the music.

Of all the dirty rotten horrible things to do to a man that you just claimed to be a brother to you! He stormed out of the barn, for once hoping Carol didn't follow him. He didn't think Rick was inside so he walked around the front of the house and, sure enough Rick was sitting out there on the front porch steps with Michonne.

"Islands in the Stream? Really?" He threw the tape player at Rick, who dodged it.

"What?" Rick asked, a sly smile cutting across his face. "I thought I was helping you out."

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl barked, running a hand through his hair. "Did you know about this?" He asked Michonne who had stood up as soon as Daryl started throwing things.

"About what?" She asked, eyes wide.

"About Rick's plan to... sabotage me! Sabotage me with fucking Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton! You son of a bitch!"

Michonne looked back and forth between them.

"What?" Rick threw up his hands. "I thought it would make it easier for him. You know how... shy he is."

Daryl glared, Michonne grinned and Rick laughed like the braying jack ass that he was.

**Would Rick actually do something so evil? *shrug* No clue. But he did here and I promise, it only strengthened poor Daryl's game. lol **


	14. Chapter 14

**Good morning! It's morning here anyway. I'm glad that most of you got a laugh out of the last chapter. Hope you all end up having a great day and thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Carol sat on the log, not really sure what to think of everything that had just transpired. At first she had been so shocked that she was speechless, actually thinking that Daryl, Daryl Dixon, had planned some kind of romantic gesture towards her. Upon seeing his stricken face, however, she knew it hadn't been him. And then he had nearly ran away.

A bubble of laughter erupted from her lips and then another, until she was doubled over, holding her stomach. Anyone watching would probably think that she was completely unhinged. She really wasn't. His poor face! He had reminded her of a boy she knew in high school that got pantsed in gym class. Poor Daryl was mortified.

She had to admit that she had been flattered for all of five seconds. She knew he had been about to tell her something big. She could tell by the look on his face. She couldn't help but wonder what it could have been. He had been talking about discovering something the day he had gotten trapped. Had it had something to do with her? She wiped the tears from her hysterical laughter from her eyes and finally stood. It wasn't like he was going to come back. He was probably off sulking, or looking for the culprit that played the trick. She had an idea who it was. Rick had to have been behind it but it was a move that was so unlike him.

She hurried to her room, not really feeling like conversing with anyone and knowing that if she lingered then that was exactly what was going to happen. Abraham and his group seemed to be okay people but she didn't really know them and didn't feel like getting there. She went straight to the closet in the bedroom, pulling out her bag and pulling out her only other change of clothes. After everything that had went down today, she really wanted some time alone and she knew the perfect place to go. She was sure Daryl was in hiding, licking his wounded pride somewhere by himself. She shook her head. Rick was really going to get it if Daryl ever found out that it had been him that set that up. She giggled again, remembering Daryl's face.

She loaded up her meager supply of soap and shampoo she had boosted from the building her and Daryl had stayed. She strapped her rifle to her back and crept out the door. She knew she would get an ear full if anyone caught her slipping away alone but she didn't care. She was on her own before and she had made it just fine. She could take care of herself easily and if something really bad happened out there she was close enough to just scream if she needed help. And if it got so bad that she would have to scream then she was as good as dead already. But there hadn't been many walkers out this far and she really just wanted to feel that water again. She wanted to feel clean. And it wouldn't hurt to be free to gather her thoughts. Everything always happened so fast that they rarely had a chance to breath. She wanted to breath.

She stopped at the head of the stairs. It sounded like everyone was down in the living room. Damn it!

She couldn't go downstairs. That was where most of them were and she knew they would have questions as soon as they saw her with her pack. She wasn't in the mood to deal with that. She was never in the mood to deal with that. No matter what, there was always someone there to watch her. It was maddening at times. She went to her window, feeling like a criminal. She struggled for a few minutes but finally it slid up with a loud cracking sound as the paint that held it together protested. She cursed under her breath and waited for a few seconds, listening to see if the sound attracted the unwanted attention of someone. All was silent and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

She swung her leg over the edge and crept out onto the low roof over the back porch. She wasn't really a fan of heights but all she had to do was go to the edge of the porch roof and climb down a few branches of a tree that someone had planted much to close to the house many years ago. If she fell, with the injuries she had sustained when she had been hit by the car, she could do some serious damage. The call of freedom was too loud for her to put much thought into how stupid she was being right now, though. She just wanted out and this was the only way she could do that.

Climbing out of the tree from this distance was easy and she landed on her feet with just the slightest twinge to her ribs. She glanced around but the coast was clear. She swung her rifle around, just in case she needed it quickly and gripped her knife as she entered the woods. She paused, letting her eyes get used to the darkness there since the moonlight did little to lighten her way. Eventually she started moving through the trees in the same direction Daryl had taken her.

It didn't take long for her to hear the telltale sounds of the water rushing in the distance and she smiled to herself in anticipation.

~H~

He seriously needed to stop doing this. Following her like this was creepy. He knew it was creepy and she would know it was creepy too. But he couldn't_ not _follow her. She looked like she was all packed and ready to take off. He had been hoping that she wasn't going to try this again but it seemed like she was. If this had anything to do with the stunt that Rick pulled then he was going to shoot him in the ass.

He slipped silently through the trees and was proud when he noticed that she made very little noise herself. It was a strange thing to think that she truly didn't need anyone to look out for her. He was going to do it anyway because he wouldn't let her leave the group if that was what she had in mind.

She veered off of the path she was on and headed towards the spot he had taken her to the night before. She was a good ways ahead of him now because he didn't want her to know he was behind her so he was following her tracks for the most part. He hesitated before he stepped through the trees, not wanting to startle her and not wanting her to know that he was following her if all she planned on doing was watching the water. He didn't fault her for that because he had come here earlier himself just to be alone and collect his thoughts.

The first thing he noticed when he scanned the bank of the stream was that she wasn't anywhere to be seen. He frowned, taking another step forward until he finally spotted her. His mouth fell open at the sight, his eyes widening and his breath hitching in his throat.

She was back under the fall, her back to him. He knew he needed to look away. Watching her wasn't right. The moonlight illuminated her wet skin, making her look ethereal. She was like a ghost, that he knew was going to haunt every inch of his mind. Her hands were in her hair and white soap suds slid down the long column of her throat, following the elegant curve of her spine. He growled low in the back of his throat as his gaze drifted lower, over the soft swell of her hips. The woman had an incredible ass, there was no doubt about...

He blinked and then took a step back. He couldn't stand there and watch her bathe. He wasn't some kind of pervert creeper. The painful erection he was suddenly sporting begged to differ. One more step and he was almost in the trees and that's when she turned, tilting her head back to rinse her hair. He told himself to go. To turn around and march his ass right back to the house but then her soapy hands started moving over herself and he was stuck, fighting a moral battle. He had an angel on one shoulder telling him that this was sick and he should be ashamed of himself. He had a devil on the other telling him that if he played his cards right, his hands could easily take the place of her own. When she moved down her body his eyes followed until right before that lucky ass hand was about to dip between her legs and that was when he finally tore his gaze away from her and slipped back far enough that he couldn't see her any longer.

His breathing was ragged and he was more than a little uncomfortable. Not only was he sporting an erection that felt like a brick in his pants but he had just spied on her, watching her. Naked! Last night he had gotten a glimpse of how she looked under those clothes and tonight he got a full on view of both sides. And she didn't know he was there. If he had caught one of the other men looking at her, spying on her, he would kill them. But here he was. At least he had moved. He wasn't still standing out there, staring. That had to say something for his character.

He moved further from the path so she wouldn't stumble upon him on her way back to the house and think that he watched her the whole time. Not only that but no matter how much he tried to will his body to stop being a jackass, he failed. He was rock hard, aching miserably. He was tempted to just say to hell with it and take care of himself right then and there but he didn't. If she caught him then that would be worse than simply getting caught spying. She would probably never talk to him again as it was, she would likely shoot him if she caught him jerking off in the woods while she bathed.

He had stood there for a long time but was still having trouble with the ragged breaths he took. When he heard her on the path a few yards away he held his breath and waited before he fell in step behind her. His mind was too far gone to pay to much attention to where his feet were stepping. He winced when he stepped on a fallen branch, the snap seeming to echo around him.

He winced and cursed himself under his breath as he moved off the path once more. He heard her shift her weapon and knew that she was on high alert. Her footsteps came closer and then he heard her mutter something. When he blinked and suddenly she was right in front of him he nearly fell backwards onto his ass.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

She had watched Daryl track enough times to understand the basics and when she had heard the loud snap of something being stepped on a few yards behind her she had instantly known someone was there. It couldn't have been Daryl because he was as silent as a snake in the brush. He wouldn't have made the mistake of stepping on something. She also knew it wasn't a walker because whoever was following her had realized their mistake and became silent again. She had back tracked a few yards and saw where someone had stepped off the path, retreating into the thicker brush.

She held the rifle at the ready and followed the tracks on feet as silent as Daryl's. She felt a flash of fear when she finally reached her late night stalker. He looked up at her and then fell on right on his ass in the underbrush.

"Daryl! What are you doing out here?" She hissed, watching him in disbelief. She lowered the gun.

He sighed and shifted on his feet, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "I thought you were tryin' to take off again."

"You followed me? What did you see! Were you there the whole time!" Her face flamed with humiliation. He had been there while she had been completely nude! Had he seen her naked? She was far from a twenty year old. She had heard it over and over again from Ed that she wasn't attractive. She knew enough now to know that Ed was full of shit for the most part but a woman didn't overcome words tended to leave a lasting mark. Those words would stick every time, long after the bruises faded. The thought of him watching her was so humiliating she wanted to cry. Or kick him.

"I didn't know you were comin' out here for that! It ain't like I watched." There was something in his voice that she didn't recognize. Like a husky growl she had never heard before. "I thought you were leavin'. What was I suppose to do? Let you go?"

She turned on her heel and returned to the path that would lead her back to the house. She heard him close behind her but she wasn't going to listen to anything he had to say. She couldn't believe he had spied on her. What had he seen? When the yard appeared before her she veered off, heading straight for the house but suddenly his large hand came around her upper arm and he was all but dragging her roughly towards the back of the barn. Se tried to break away but he was relentless. She was almost afraid of him in that moment. There was a glint in his eyes and an angry set to his lips.

Once he finally had her behind the barn he loosened his grip but didn't let her go. He spun her around so she had no choice but to look at him. When she did she was reminded of the anger that had rolled off of him earlier when she had left with Rick. That nagging fear suddenly transformed into a flash of molten heat that settled low in her stomach. Damn her and her traitorous body! She was suppose to be furious, not go into heat at the first sign of his anger.

"Let me go," she whispered, fighting these new feelings raging within her.

"I will, as soon as you listen to me."

"What did you see?" She hissed.

His eyes seemed to darken as his gaze swept over her. "You. But I didn't just stand there and watch. You know that. Once I saw that you weren't tryin' to take off I backed off and waited."

She studied him, her heart beating too fast. She saw the sincerity on his face but she couldn't deny that there was something else there too. Something simmering behind his gaze that she couldn't put her finger on. She had seem glimpses of it before but never like this. There was fire behind his gaze that had her palms sweating. "What were going to tell me tonight?" She asked suddenly, surprising even herself with the question.

He shook his head. "Now ain't the time to talk about it." His voice was still... off. And his eyes were still roaming over her, his breath seeming to come faster the more he looked.

"Why?" She breathed.

He barely shook his head and dropped his hand from her arm. "You need to go inside," his voice was that husky growl again, reminding her excitedly of dangerous things that she may not want anything to do with.

Something incredible occurred to her then. He had, indeed, seen her out there. The incredible part was, he had seemed to like what he saw. A lot. It was the only reason she could come up with for him to be acting so strange. At first the thought surprised her but it wasn't long before that surprise turned into something else. Something very foreign to her.

Power.

Instead of doing as he said she slipped the rifle off her shoulder and then dropped her bag, taking a step towards him, completely invading his space. He tensed, his eyes changing again, an intoxicating mix of cautious predator. He watched her until she stopped, mere inches away.

"Just go inside, Carol," he ground out from between clenched teeth.

Was she really going to push him? Was she really ready for something like this? She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She was so used to the other side of him. The side that was slightly shy. Unsure. "You don't call shots for me, remember? You say you know me, you must know that."

He shook his head slightly. "What the hell do you want?" he whispered.

The question slid over her skin like a living thing. What did she want? She had an idea what he wanted and she wanted the exact same thing. She didn't let herself think because that would have scared her to death. Instead she simply acted. She reached out with both hands and went to work on the belt of his jeans. She hoped to God she wasn't reading him wrong. "You," she said firmly.

The breath left his lungs in a heavy rush and he pushed her hands away, wordlessly grabbing her again and hauling her towards the barn. He stopped just inside the man sizes door where the moonlight still filtered in dimly. Her back hit the rough wooden wall hard but she didn't mind. All those times she wondered, all the times she had fantasized about it now she was getting to see that hidden animal focused on something other than his anger. It was focused on her. A thrill shot up her spine as he looked at her, sweeping over her before he yanked her forward by the waist. She crashed into him and there was no mistaking the evidence of his hunger for her pressing against her abdomen.

His hands snaked up her neck, calloused and large until his thumbs met along her jawline, tilting her head up slightly. With shaking hands she reached for his belt again and this time he let her. When his lips met hers it wasn't a gentle kiss by any means. There was no hesitation, no easing into it. He demanded entrance and she relented willingly, matching the ferocity with her own brand, following his lead. His tongue slid hungrily against her hers, exploring her mouth as a satisfied sound rumbled through his chest, thrilling her even more.

She had never expected this to happen. She had always wished for it to happen but deep down had never believed it would. With Daryl, you got one of two people. You got that big hearted clutz that wanted so badly to take care of the people around him. A man that cared deeply and loved with everything in him. Or you got the man on the edge. The one that he kept hidden. The one that was unpredictable and savage. Tonight, she needed the latter. With her history of violence endured, it was strange that she would crave this rough part of him, but she did. She trusted him and after everything, she needed this.

He pulled away taking a step back and assessing her. She touched her bruised lips with the tips of her fingers. His eyes searched hers, like he needed permission before he proceeded any further. She nodded and that was all the consent he needed. He closed the distance, his lips seeking hers out and she gave into him completely. Her back hit the wall again and he pinned her there with his body, only moving enough so he could work her shirt up and then over her head. His hands weren't hesitant. She gasped as his rough hand went to her breast, kneading the flesh, his thumb grazing across the hardened peak just enough to have her nearly begging for more. His head moved quickly, lips seeking, hot and greedy until they closed around the nipple of her other breast, sucking greedily and groaning like he had finally gotten a taste of something he had been craving for a long time.

Her fingers tangled into his hair, keeping his head still as he worked her aching flesh, teeth nipping until she was ready to cry out and then his tongue licking the sting away before the pain became too much.

He pulled away, raising his head as a frustrated sound escaped him. "Damn it," he growled as he glanced towards the open barn door.

"What," she breathed, eyes wide as she panted.

He shook his head. "It's stupid to do this right now."

"Are you fucking serious. We're doing this. Now," she demanded and grabbed the sides of his face with both hands and kissing him deeply.

He grabbed her wrists but didn't try to pull back right away. When he did he bent down and scooped up her shirt, handing it to her while he glanced at the door again. She realized then what the problem was. They were very distracted. If something came out of the woods they were as good as dead.

"Damn it," she hissed as she slipped the shirt over her head.

"Your room," he said quickly, grabbing her hand and retrieving their weapons.

"Everyone will see us come in," she said quickly as he redid his belt.

He scowled, glancing at the house.

She went to the doorway and glanced out. "You go in through the front door," she said quickly.

He shook his head. "The hell are you gonna do?"

"I'll go up the tree. Same way I got out."

He scowled, his features cooling. "You snuck out and climbed down a tree? With your ribs like they are?"

She made a frustrated noise and stared at him. "Fine. You go up the tree. The window's open." She didn't give him time to argue. She kissed him roughly and then walked away, leaving him staring after her in the barn.


	16. Chapter 16

**Last night while moving my computer from my kitchen to my living room, I dropped it. It shattered. The screen is ruined. Lucky for me, I decided, just yesterday, to save all of my chapters for this story to my doc manager and to email myself 19 chapters of an AU I'm working on. I felt rather psychic after I broke my laptop. So, all in all, I lost the very last chapter for this story, which isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things and I have plenty of time to rewrite it. **

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thanks so much for reading!**

**Chapter Sixteen**

He stood under the tree and looked up, heart still racing, hands still shaking and mind still in a fog. Things weren't suppose to happen this way but that's how they were happening. After seeing her like that he had lost his head and so far he hadn't found it yet. He didn't think she understood what she was getting in to. He was having a hard time keeping himself in check.

He jumped and grabbed a hold of the lowest branch. He'd climbed many trees in his day. Unfortunately, it had been a while and he wasn't as young as he once was. His sweaty hands couldn't get a good grip and when he went to swing his leg up, he lost his hold and fell, landing on his back.

He laid there for a second, wondering, again, what the fuck he was doing. This was crazy. He had meant to talk to her. He wanted to let her know how he felt. He wasn't suppose to rip her clothes off and just go at it. He didn't want it to be like that with them. They were more than that. She was more than that. Then he remembered how she had looked, her hands running over her body, ignorant to the fact that there was someone there.

He got up quickly, this time with renewed vigor. Before he knew it he was on the roof of the porch, trying to get to the window without making too much noise. He felt frantic, like he had to get to that room or he was going to explode. He hurried through the opening, getting his foot hung and fell again.

"Goddamn it!" He hissed, resting his head on the floor and breathing heavily, trying to get his bearings. He craned his neck to look at her when he heard her laugh.

"What took you so long?" She asked, walking over to stand next to his prone form.

"Fell outta that fuckin' tree," he rasped, moving until he was on his knees.

Her eyes were bright in the dim candle light and he felt what little control he had managed to retain slip slightly. He grabbed her by the hips and yanked her towards him, still looking up at her. Whatever she saw in his face must have excited her because the look she was giving him now made him believe that it wouldn't take much to have her losing her own sense of self control. His eyes slid from hers to the shirt she had slipped back on. "Take it off," he growled.

She did as he said without question, without shame. In the room, where the light was better, he could clearly see the bruising on her body and it sobered him. A little anyway. He moved his hands until he was gripping her waist and then he let his lips ghost over the black and blue that marred her like angry storm clouds. Her fingers tangled into his hair, gripping hard. He grinned, fingers dipping just below her waistband, bringing his hands in until he reached the button of her pants. Her grip in his hair tightened and he heard her take in a shallow breath. He undid her pants and then stood up. He didn't want to be careful with her, almost didn't trust himself to be careful with her, but after remembering how bad those bruises actually were, he knew that he had to be.

"There isn't much sense in freezing up now," she whispered, going for the buttons on his shirt.

He shook his head and held his breath as her hands mapped out every curve and contour of his torso, slipping lower and lower until the tips of her fingers were barely brushing across his waist. He realized then that she wanted him to lose that control. He grabbed her by the upper arms and walked her backwards, forcing her to sit when the bed hit the back of her legs. He didn't stop there though. She was forced back when he kept coming, crab walking over the sheets until he was kneeling on the middle of the bed between her legs.

He leaned over her, bracing himself with his arms. She pulled his face down, kissing him hungrily. Her lips were soft but fierce and surprisingly demanding. It was surreal, being with her this way. After they had gotten closer her constant presence had done wonders to heal old wounds, ground him and keep that ever present darkness inside of him calm. Now it was different. Her presence wasn't calming that part of him, it was like she was calling to it. Like she wanted it. And he would have been more than happy to oblige, if there wasn't a chance he could very well break her.

She started pushing on the shirt that he still wore, trying to get it off of his shoulders. He sat up on his knees and shrugged it off, tossing it into the corner of the room. She knew all about the scars that marked him. That had been a conversation from long ago. She wasn't someone that would judge him for them anyway so he felt no discomfort here. It was liberating to be able to do something as simple as taking off a shirt and not worry about what someone ask.

~H~

He was holding back and she knew it and she desperately wanted him to let go. She wanted him to lose control. She was actually having trouble keeping herself under control. Being with him made her feel empowered for reasons she would probably never understand. She saw the battle in his eyes as his gaze raked over her and he watched her as she sat up, shifting so she was on her knees facing him. His arms dropped to his sides and he looked down, watching her fingers work his pants open.

He looked up once she had him freed from the confines of his jeans and her hand went around him firmly. Knowing that he was this worked up over her had her momentarily stunned. She ran her hand down the length of him and heard a low growl rumbled in his chest, his eyes flicking up and locking onto hers. Back before she had become the person she was now she had let her husband make her feel like she wasn't a desirable woman. She had felt embarrassed about her looks and she had felt incompetent when it came to sexual situations. In that moment, when Daryl's eyes locked onto hers she realized that her husband had been full of shit. Daryl was all man, and he wanted _her_.

He was still holding back and she still desperately wanted him to let go. She moved back and then bent at the hips, her ass swaying slightly as she gripped him in her hand again. He took in a shocked breath just as her mouth closed over him. She wasn't able to take all of him in but the groan that left his lips had her feeling like she just might be doing something right. He ran a rough hand down the straight line of her back, leaving goosebumps in his path. She traced the underside of him with her tongue, bringing her head up slowly so she could tease him. It seemed to work because suddenly his hand came up, fingers tangling in her hair and moving her roughly, dragging her head up until his lips crushed hers. She couldn't repress the smile on her lips. When his hands gripped her shoulders and shoved her back down her eyes went wide. She studied his face, his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. His chest was heaving and he slowly shook his head.

"I don't wanna hurt you," he said roughly.

She shook her head and started working her pants down her hips. "I trust you," she breathed and then gasped when his hands were there, yanking her pants away and pushing her legs apart. He was kicking his own pants off as he moved over her, a hand on each side of her head as he brought his mouth back down to hers in another mind numbing kiss that had her lifting her hips and shamelessly grinding herself against him, moaning softly at the feel of him sliding against parts of her that seemed to have lain patiently in wait for this moment. She had never felt this desperate to have a man take her before. Her hands ran up his back, nails biting into him as his muscles flexed under her touch. She felt his teeth sink into the delicate skin at her throat and then he moved swiftly.

He pushed into her without warning, not giving her any time at all to adjust to the size of him before he was moving within her, his teeth releasing her skin as his breath rushed out of him and his lips crushed hers to cut off her shocked cry. She pushed her hips further into him, meeting his thrust with a frantic need. Her neck stung where he had bit her but it was nothing compared to the pleasure that was pulsing through her. She was probably drawing blood as her nails raked over his skin and a small part of her hoped she was. Maybe these scars could help him forget about the old ones.

She was surprised when she felt herself tensing, her body warming with each stroke until she was so close that her legs were trembling...

A tap at the door had her tensing, her head turning towards the sound. To her amazement, Daryl didn't stop.

"Carol, you okay?"

"Fuck you, Rick," Daryl whispered against her ear, his rhythm changing so he was moving deeper, slower.

"I'm okay." She flinched at the high pitched tone of her voice.

Daryl chuckled darkly against her neck, sending shivers up her spine that seemed to increase the pleasure in the rest of her body.

"Are you sure? If you need to talk..." Rick's concerned voice hung in the air.

"I'm... I'm fine. Re-really," she gasped as he changed his rhythm again, just slightly, but it was enough to send her spiraling, clamping her hand over her mouth to keep herself from making a sound. She fisted the bed sheet in her other hand as her back arched off the bed. As soon as her back left the mattress his arm slid around her and suddenly she was moving. He sat up, bringing her with him in one smooth motion. Her legs locked more securely around his waist as he readjusted their position.

~H~

Daryl glanced at the door, which he just now realized was being barricaded by a chair under the knob. Her head hit his shoulder as he used the arm he had locked around her to hold her tightly against him before he started moving again. To say that this was an ego boost was an understatement. He hadn't been too sure about this part. Life up until this point hadn't taught him how to be a gentle man but that seemed to be okay. More than okay, since it was obvious she was in the throws of a pretty intense orgasm. One that had him grinding his teeth together to keep from joining her.

"Carol, I know what happened with Maggie and if you need someone, I'm here," Rick said.

Daryl dropped onto his back, bringing her with him, pushing up into her without missing a beat. She braced herself on her arms, meeting his eyes. Hers were feverish and frantic. "You get rid of him, Carol, or I will," he said in a low voice.

"I'll be okay," she called just as he grabbed her by the hips and moved her against him. She whimpered, biting her lip hard.

He slid his hand between them, running his fingers over her swiftly but with a feather light touch, her eyes grew large and she shuddered. He could feel it building once more, liquid heat coiling around him as he stroked her.

"Oh my God," she whispered.

He glanced at the door again and couldn't help it, he grinned and then growled when her hand clamped over her mouth, her body unraveling around him. She braced herself with a hand on his chest again as she rode this one out.

"Carol?"

"Goddamn it, Rick! Stop fuckin' talkin'! I'm handling it, alright?" He nearly yelled.

Carol's eyes grew impossibly wide as she looked down at him but he couldn't bring himself to care. He wasn't going to be able to hold back any longer. He pulled her down, kissing her deeply as his own orgasm ripped through him. It had been so long since he had even thought of release that the intensity of it shocked him. Now he was the one whimpering pathetically and didn't even care. As he lost himself deep inside of her, all his mind could comprehend was the pleasure than consumed him. When it was over she raised back up, staring at him with wide eyes.

"I can't believe you did that," she whispered, her gaze flicking to the door.

He sat up and moved so she was under him once more. "You really gonna start talkin' about that now?" He moved so he was no longer inside her.

"That was mean," she whispered, pushing his hair out of his eyes and kissing him.

"He knew I wasn't gonna just skulk off with my tail between my legs. God," he rolled off of her and pulled the sheet up to his waist. "Why the hell are we talking about him?"

He stared up at the ceiling, willing his heart to slow back down.

"We're not," she said as she rolled into his side, her hand smoothing down his chest. "But it was still mean."

He pulled her closer, running his hand down her side and over the swell of her hip, surprised that he already felt like he needed her again. "Never did get to talk to you about shit tonight."

She laughed softly, her warm breath ghosting over his skin. "I think you said everything you needed to say. You've always been more a man of action." She pulled the sheet up further. "But if you need to hear it, I feel the same. I think I always have. Just too afraid to do anything about it."

He glanced down at her hand as it traveled further over his stomach, tracing the outline of his hipbone and then dipping just below the sheet that covered him. His arousal was obvious through the thin sheet. He grabbed her hand and rolled quickly, pinning her beneath him.

She grinned and wrapped her legs around his waist just as he moved back into her. This time he kept his pace slower, taking his time, kissing her deeply. As they lost themselves in this new found closeness, both of them amazed to discover that their life didn't really have to be filled with fear and pain, there was unknown turmoil brewing only a few doors away and morning would bring with it another tragedy that would shock the group and change everything...


	17. Chapter 17

**As most of you have probably guessed, this story is about to take a slightly different turn. I'm not the greatest at writing angst and that was why I wanted to write this story so badly. I needed to give angst a shot. I hope you stick around to see where it goes. As always, thank you so much for reading!**

***warning* There is a primary character death in this chapter. **

**Chapter Seventeen**

Carol awoke to a heavy arm draped over her and Daryl's deep even breathing. She had managed to slip a t-shirt on before succumbing to exhaustion. As carefully as she could she rolled over onto her back, turning her head so she could look at him. He was sprawled out on his stomach, one arm shoved under the pillow and the other holding her close. She smiled when even her movements hadn't woken him. He was usually always on alert and would wake up at the slightest sound. He looked much younger in sleep, his dark hair obscuring part of his face. A face that was relaxed and unlined. Her eyes moved lower and the smile died on her lips. On his back, blending with the scars that had been there for years, were angry red marks. In some places she had actually broken the skin. In his shoulders were perfect crescents where her nails had dug into him hard enough to draw blood.

She felt a slight wave of guilt and suddenly he was rolling onto his side and crushing her to him. She searched his face but his eyes were still closed, the ghost of a smile gracing his lips. "I can hear your gears turnin'. Don't over think things Carol. It's a bad habit."

She snorted but let herself curl up deeper into him. "You're full of crap."

He shook his head, his nose grazing across the line of her jaw. "Nah," his teeth nipped at the skin of her throat. "Told ya before," he drawled lazily in a voice that had her pulse racing, "I _know_ you." The way he said the word _know_ had her shivering despite the warmth his body provided.

"You think you do," she whispered, secretly thrilled that he hadn't crawled back into his shell at the first sign of daybreak. It had been a worry nagging at the back of her mind all night.

His fingers traced patterns into her hip and, in a great show of bravery, she shoved his chest hard, forcing him onto his back as she rolled on top of him. He looked down between their bodies and scowled. He had put his pants back on since he had moved the chair away from the door when he went out for water. It wasn't common for people to knock and he hadn't wanted to be caught with his pants down, literally. When his eyes met hers he held her gaze for a long time before he pulled her down and claimed her mouth.

She smiled against his lips, settling over him as he threaded his fingers through her hair. That fire was starting to consume her and her hips rolled over him, causing him to groan and push up into her. He was working his hand up the back of his shirt when they heard a sound that had them both freezing.

It almost sounded like an animal caught in a trap. A low guttural wail filled with razor sharp agony and unimaginable despair. But it wasn't an animal. It as a man. No animal could scream like that. The word "no" cried over and over. Carol scrambled off the bed, scooping up her pants and dressing quickly. Her heart was hammering hard in her chest and there was already a lump in her throat. Whatever was happening it was happening outside, towards the barn.

Daryl was ready before she was and didn't wait on her. He was out the door and heading down the stairs but she was only a few feet behind him. Others were rushing towards the door as well but Daryl shoved through them, leaping over the porch railing and hitting the ground at a dead run. Rick was behind him and she was almost there when she saw it.

Glenn was on his knees, holding on to the sides of his head as if he were willing himself not to explode. Carol stumbled to a stop just as Daryl made it to the barn. He took a few steps back and then turned his head, angling his body so he was no longer facing the barn entrance. Carol took a few tentative steps and that was when he finally looked up. She saw the pain etched in his eyes. He walked towards her just as Rosita, Tara and Abe approached Glenn. Rick took one look at the others and sat down in the dirt, pulling his knees up and covering his face with his hands, shaking his head.

For a few long moments Carol felt nothing at all. Just a seemingly endless void that kept her from truly understanding what was happening. And then she heard a soft voice in her head. She barely heard it over the sound of Glenn's agony. The voice was her own and it felt like acid.

_If I recall, you knew she was alive and you were on a bus to Washington while me and him both were almost killed trying to rescue her. _Those were the last words that Carol had spoken to Maggie. And she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Maggie was dead. If she were alive then she would be there with Glenn, but Glenn was there on the ground.

Daryl reached out, touching her arm and she jerked away, taking a step back, shaking her head slightly. What had she done? Maggie had been mourning the death of her sister and Carol had thrown the girls death right in her face like it was Maggie's fault. And now she was dead.

~H~

He saw it all crumble. He could see it in her eyes and he knew he'd lost her, lost her as completely as Glenn had just lost Maggie. He dropped his hand as her eyes scanned the yard, landing and lingering on the others before they raised up to meet his. There was nothing there. Nothing for him and nothing for them. She was gone.

"Carol?" His voice came out strained, rough, and he didn't recognize it as his own.

She shook her head and stepped around him, needing to see the carnage for herself. And who was he to stop her? He walked to the porch, not needing to see the look in her eyes when she saw Maggie there, one perfect hole through one temple and a gaping wound where the bullet had left her brain. She had used one of the guns equipped with a silencer. That was why no one knew what had happened until Glenn found her.

He heard someone approaching and looked up. Rick was coming towards him, his head hung. He stopped a few feet away, glancing at him and then over his shoulder back towards the barn. "I can't believe none of us saw this coming," he muttered.

Daryl shook his head but no words came to mind.

"We need to get her buried. We can start digging next to Beth's grave. That means we'll be here for a little while longer. It's still safe enough and I don't think Glenn..." his voice trailed off.

Daryl just nodded. Standing up and walking with him towards the side of the house. There was a garden shed there where they had found shovels on their first day at the house. Rick stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" He asked.

Daryl looked up, seeing genuine concern on Rick's face. He shook his head. "No," he said honestly. "None of us are okay."

Rick ran a hand over his face. "Carol's gonna need you after this. After the fight they got into last night, after everything else. You know where her heads gonna be."

Daryl heard a brittle, humorless laugh escape his lips before he even knew it was coming. "Carol's gone, Rick. And she ain't comin' back."

Rick looked at his boots. "She's just gonna need time."

Daryl wasn't going to listen to this. He stepped around him, his eyes wet and his throat feeling like it was ready to close. He was tired of burying his people. He was tired of losing everyone. For a few fleeting hours things hadn't seemed so dark. Things had been going in another direction. He had finally felt like he had something to fight for instead of just fighting blindly. He should have known better. He should have guessed that he couldn't be allowed to have that.


	18. Chapter 18

**So, that last chapter was a hard one. If you're still reading then thanks for sticking around! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Eighteen**

Certain parts of the day seemed to fly right past her. Other parts, however, felt like they were never going to end. They buried Maggie next to her sister late in the afternoon. Glenn was silent, grief stricken. He looked completely lost. Carol kept her eyes on the ground, watching as Maggie's body was lowered into the hole. How many more times were they going to have to watch this?

Daryl was by her side but he didn't offer her any support. Somehow he just knew that his touch wouldn't be a comfort to her. Not right now. She really didn't even need comforted. She was numb to the pain and she was used to the guilt. At least she hadn't pulled the trigger herself, right? She shook her head at the thought and finally looked up. The others were gathered around, heads bowed, their faces showing their misery. She walked away without a backwards glance. This time she was almost certain that no one would follow her.

When she made it to her room she started shoving her things into her bag. Daryl's shirt was lying in the corner and she grew very still, her eyes zooming in on it. She stood there, staring at the rumpled material and that was the moment that the numbness went away. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat down heavily on the bed, her eyes never straying from the shirt. It was only a shirt. A shirt that blurred as tears filled her eyes. She tried to wipe them away but more seemed to be there to take their place so she let them flow. She reached down and picked it up, clutching it tightly in her hands as she tried desperately to be strong. To push that pain to the back of her mind like she had been doing for a while now. This time, the hurt didn't feel like hiding. Why had she said that to Maggie? Why had she had to make it harder for the girl? She may as well have pulled that trigger because she was sure that if she hadn't opened her mouth, if she had just walked away from Maggie's harsh outburst, then she would still be alive. It seemed like no matter her intentions, she hurt the people she cared about. There was so much blood on her hands.

She stood up and shoved the shirt into her bag, zipping it up and then shoving it under the bed. She couldn't take being here anymore. She couldn't face Glenn's wrath, and she knew it was coming. Tyreese had forgiven her for what she had done but she couldn't understand why. Glenn shouldn't have to be forced to look at her every day knowing that she played a role in Maggie's suicide. As soon as she got the chance she was going to go. Daryl couldn't watch her forever and even if he did, he couldn't stop her. He couldn't hold her down and force her to stay with them. She hoped that she could sneak away because she wasn't sure if she would survive having to look him in the eye and tell him goodbye. Not after everything they had been through. Especially after everything they had shared the night before.

She would always have that though. She would have that one great memory to keep. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob. Maybe it would have been easier if last night had never happened. She shook her head, banishing that thought from her mind. She had never felt so wanted in her life. She had seen the love in his eyes. And she was going to throw it all away.

She felt her resistance start to crumble but she clenched her teeth and willed herself to just do what she needed to do. She had been struggling since before they had rescued her from Grady. A part of her, a huge part of her actually, had wanted to leave. She hadn't and look how things had worked out. She wouldn't make that mistake. Not again.

~H~

They were gathered in the yard, all of them seemingly lost in thought. A few people sat on the logs around the fire pit, others stood, talking in low voices as the sun swiftly set. He watched her from a distance, unsure how to go about talking to her. She had totally shut down. Everyone had, really. Tyreese tried a few times to talk to her and so did Rick but she claimed to be fine. He knew that was bullshit. She was far from fine. He had never seen her look so desolate. She was completely lost. She hadn't looked like that when she had lost Sophia. Maybe back then she had harbored a little bit of hope. Hope that maybe something would come out of the whole mess. Now she knew that if something good did come along, it wasn't going to be anything but a fleeting reprieve from the misery.

Was that what last night had been? The question had him scowling, looking away. He didn't want to think of it like that. Last night had been a lot of things but it wasn't just two people fucking each other to forget that the world was ugly. For him it had meant something. She hadn't met his eyes since before they buried Maggie but he was pretty sure she hadn't really looked at anyone. She was being an idiot and blaming herself for what happened when it would have happened no matter what.

She wasn't really talking to anyone. Just standing near Rick and Michonne as they spoke. She didn't seem to be paying much attention to what they were saying and they didn't even notice when she slipped away from them, heading towards the house. He followed her, knowing that he had to talk to her but also knowing that she wouldn't want to talk. She was shutting him out. It was a quieter version of how he used to handle people. Put up that wall and refuse to let anyone in, but she had chipped at that wall for a long time and, piece by piece, it eventually crumbled, allowing her to step right in.

He went through the back door and found her leaning against the counter, her head hung. He took a few uncertain steps, stopping when she abruptly turned around. Her eyes were dry but they held a sadness so deep he looked away.

"How are you holding up?" She asked, forcing him to look at her.

He shrugged. "Guess I just don't think I'll ever get used to losin' people. You'd think it would get easier after a while, but it don't."

She looked away. "It will."

He waited for her to elaborate but she didn't. She just kept looking at the floor. "What about you?" He asked once the silence went on for to long.

She walked past him then, heading towards the hallway and probably the stairs beyond. "I've lived through worse than this. Don't waste your time worrying about me."

For some reason her words seemed to trigger his temper and he felt himself scowling. Taking a few deeps breaths he followed her up the stairs, feeling very much like a lost pup. When the hell was he going to stop this? He couldn't spend the rest of his life chasing after her. Especially if she wanted to get away from him. She shut the door but he walked right in behind her, slamming it behind him.

"Stop," He said, his voice harsh.

She spun around, her eyes hard for a moment until her guard slipped, for just a second and he saw the pain there. He looked away. "You heard what I said to her last night."

He shook his head. "That ain't the reason she did what she did."

She shook her head. "Why do you do that? Why do you dismiss everything I do like it's all okay?"

"Because it is," he snapped. "You ain't the only person here that's messed up. You made a hard decision at the prison. It didn't help anything but you did what you did because you thought you were saving people. What you did out there before you found us, nobody else could have done that. But you knew it had to be done. What you said to Maggie, you said it out of anger. You're stupid if you think that's the only reason she did what she did! Goddamn, do you remember what I said to you that night on the farm? People say things, Carol."

She shook her head, refusing to hear what he was saying. "You don't understand."

She was making him furious. "Then fucking elaborate!"

She sat down on the edge of he bed, her head hung. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep feeling like this. I'm responsible for a lot of hurt and I can't shut it off. I can't _not_ feel like it's my fault. How's Glenn gonna get through this? Every time he looks at me he's going to remember Maggie's last night alive. He's going to remember what I said to her and even if you don't think I'm responsible, he has to. I have to look Tyreese in the eye every day knowing what I did to him."

"You didn't-"

"You're the hero, Daryl. You save people and you're good," she shook her head. "You have no idea but everyone else knows it. They look at you, _I_ look at you and I know that the world is better because you're in it. What the hell am I?"

He stared at her, to many emotions running through him to even begin to try to sort through them. "You saved all of us. You didn't have to do that but you did," he said, desperate for her to understand.

She smiled but there was no humor in it. "I did. I saved you all from Terminus. But that doesn't make up for the things I did. A good deed doesn't cancel out all the bad a person does." She took a few steps closer and reached out, her hand cupping his face. He stayed perfectly still, willing himself not to lean into her hand. This was something she was going to have to fight through on her own. He had watched her do it before, come to terms with things on her own time. She would be okay.

He knew as soon as the thought entered his mind that he was lying to himself. There was something brewing. He could feel it. For a second he was almost afraid that she would follow Maggie's lead. Finally put a true end to things that haunted her. He shook that thought from his mind almost the moment it entered. She wouldn't do that. If she was going to do something like that then she would have done it a long time ago. No, she wouldn't kill herself but he was sure she was leaving. He had known since this morning that she wouldn't stay after this.

When he finally moved it was to pull her closer. He wished desperately that the only thing he had to worry about were walkers. Walkers he could handle. Life without her, however, was something that he wasn't sure he'd be able to survive.


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry this is late! I am still using borrowed computers! Several of you have given me some great advice and others have pitched some awesome ideas for this story and I do appreciate them all. But I have already written 35 chapters for this story so I can't really go back and change things around. I did have 37 chapters written but I lost them when my computer broke. I hope you all don't get to disappointed by the next few chapters. All I can say is, in the long run, it'll be worth it. Thanks so much for reading!**

**Chapter Nineteen**

She wished they could stay like this forever. She hadn't meant for it to happen again but it had. For just a little while she had been able to lose herself in his touch. She had been able to forget the pain. She should have known that it wouldn't do anything but hurt even worse when she finally slipped away. So she stayed just a little bit longer, her head resting on his chest. With the strong steady beat of his heart under her ear, she felt at peace. She felt like there was a chance that she would be okay. But it wouldn't be if she stayed with him.

They hadn't left the room since he had followed her up the stairs earlier. The house had quieted hours ago but she knew there would be someone on watch and she would have to figure out a way to slip away without them seeing her. She would have to walk until she found a vehicle since she couldn't just take the car that they had taken when they had gone to save Daryl. She wouldn't take the only means of transportation they had.

After a few more minutes she slipped slowly and quietly out from under his arm, easing her bag out from under the bed and grabbing her rifle from where it sat propped against the nightstand. A huge part of her wanted to climb back into the bed but she pushed those thoughts away. This was what she needed to do. It's what she should have done the night her and Daryl went after the car from Grady. So she was going now. She had learned to walk without making a sound from watching Daryl. When he needed to be he was silent, sure footed, lethal. Other times he was unsure of himself, introverted and fearful of letting down the people he cared about. It was one of the things that she found so endearing about him. There was so much that made him who he was. She had seen this from the very beginning and it was the reason she had unwittingly fallen so deeply in love with him. Not that she had admitted it to herself for the longest time.

Once she picked her way silently through the living room she hurriedly went out the back door. To her dismay there was someone sitting on the back porch. She paused and then pulled the door shut silently. Abe glanced over his shoulder, gave her a stiff nod and then turned back to gaze out over the darkened yard.

Carol was unsure what to say to the man. They had barely been introduced, since their initial meeting had been under stressful and then tragic circumstances. She was hoping that whoever was on watch would have been making rounds so it would be easier to slip past them. She hadn't devised a plan to deal with someone right there on the porch. It turns out, she didn't have to say anything at all.

"You taking off?" He asked without looking at her.

She let out a breath she hadn't known she had been holding and walked down the porch steps. "Yeah," she said, keeping her tone cool. She wasn't sure about this man and she didn't want to stick around and get to know him.

"This suppose to be some kind of secret?" He asked, finally looking up from the knife he was sharpening.

She hadn't even noticed what he had been doing. She nodded. "I'd rather not have to deal with any awkward goodbyes. You think you can keep this to yourself until morning?"

He shrugged without looking up. "I'm suppose to watch out for danger, not babysit." He looked up again, studying her for a few moments. "Be careful out there."

She nodded. "Yeah." Without another word she turned and walked around the house, heading for the road. That was easier than she ever imagined it would be. She kept her focus on the sounds of the night around her, keeping all thoughts of Daryl and the others at bay. She didn't stop until she was a mile away from the house, on another back road. She refused to dwell on what she was leaving behind. She didn't want to think about it so she didn't. What she thought about instead was, where was she going from here. Her initial goal had been to get out of the house. Once she was out of the house her goal had been to get away from it. Now that there were a few miles between her and them, she had to think about how she planned on living on her own.

Surviving wasn't her issue. She could survive. Hell she had spent her whole life surviving. Now living was a whole different story. Living meant more than just breathing in and out. It meant more than having a pulse. Living was something a person did when there was reasons to wake up in the morning. Living is what she would have been able to do if she had stayed with Daryl.

She shook her head and picked up her pace. She needed to focus on finding a vehicle and put more distance between herself and the group. She could only hope that the further she walked, the slimmer her chances of turning around would be.

She was close to the town when she finally found a vehicle that was suitable to drive. She sat there, her hands clenching the steering wheel in a white knuckled grip as she tried to control her breathing. She had to keep telling herself that this was something she had to do. There wasn't any reason to torture herself with thoughts of what could have been. No, not what could have been. What could actually be. She could have a life with him. She could have something with him that she had never had before. Why was she so hell bent on leaving that in the dust?

She started the car, almost hoping that it wouldn't start at all, giving her no choice but to walk back to that house with her tail between her legs. But the car started. She threw it into gear and pulled away, not daring to glance back the way she had come.

~H~

He sat up, his hand instantly going out to touch her side of the bed. It was cold. His heart sank as he threw back the blanket, cursing the early morning sun that shone through the window. She wouldn't have left. Surely she wouldn't have left. Not after last night.

He dropped to one knee and peered under the bed where he knew she kept her bag. It was gone. He stood up, dressing quickly, cursing loudly as he slammed his feet into his boots. He nearly tripped down the stairs as he made his way to the kitchen, hoping against all reason that she would be there. She wasn't. Tara sat at the table with Carl and Sasha.

"You seen Carol?" He asked, heading towards the door.

Carl frowned, "We thought she was with you."

Tara and Sasha shook their heads. He tried to tell himself to calm down but his heart was pounding in his chest and he was feeling a headache coming on. Rick was on the porch with Abe and Gabriel. Rick looked up and Daryl knew that he could tell then what had happened.

"Damn it," he hissed, his head dropping.

"What's going on?" Gabriel asked, looking between them.

Abe hadn't looked up. He was studying a map and leaning casually against the railing.

"Carol left last night," Rick said, cursing under his breath as his eyes went to the yard.

"Who left last night?" Rosita asked as she climbed the back porch steps.

Abe answered. "Carol."

Rosita glanced up at Daryl and he couldn't read the look she gave him before glancing away.

"Who the hell was on watch?" Daryl growled.

"I was," Abe said casually, finally looking up from the paper in his hands.

Rick moved away from the railing just then, putting himself between Daryl and Abe. He asked the obvious question before Daryl could. "Did you see her?" He asked, keeping his voice level.

Abe nodded. "She left out about three this morning."

"And you just let her walk away!" Daryl roared, causing Gabriel to jump and move a few steps away.

Abe met Daryl's eyes and shrugged. "I don't make calls on who gets to leave. She's a grown woman. She asked me to keep my mouth shut about it and I did."

"You asshole! She could get killed out there!" Daryl yelled, trying to push past Rick.

Abe laughed. "You sure we're talking about the same woman? That is _the_ Carol, right? The one that took on an army and won? The one that Rick here forced out of your group in the first place? Sorry, man, but she's the last one you gotta worry about out there. Hell, I was half tempted to go with her."

Daryl finally shoved Rick out of his way and when his fist connected with Abe's jaw he flipped right off the banister he'd been leaning against. Daryl didn't even know how he got off the porch. The next thing he knew he was in the yard, rolling around with that red headed prick. He got in a few more hits before Abe was suddenly yanked off of him.

Daryl got up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He wanted to charge the man again but Tyreese was dragging Abe away, a steely look in his own eyes. He cared about Carol too. Rick was suddenly there, pushing Daryl back.

"We'll look for her," Rick hissed. "Just calm down. Maybe she just needed to get away for a while. She needs to clear her head. She'll be back."

Daryl snarled and jerked away from Rick. "You really that stupid? I told you this was gonna happen. She's gone and she ain't comin' back. It's over."

Rick shook his head. "She wouldn't do that to you."

Daryl turned, refusing to let Rick see the tears that were threatening in his eyes. "She would, Rick. You don't know her like I do."


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm not a huge fan of time jump stories. Some are done in a way that doesn't make you feel like you've actually lost chunks of the story being told. Hopefully, I have accomplished this. Thanks for sticking around to see where this is going! It's much appreciated! Stay warm out there, especially if you reside in the North East! **

**Chapter Twenty**

_**Six Months Later**_

Carol gazed out across the still water of the lake, shielding her eyes from the sun that did little to warm her. She never felt warm anymore, no matter the temperature, though today she knew it was only slightly above freezing. She would have felt the chill even if it were the middle of the Georgian summer. She knew because she had made it through summer and had felt frozen despite those sweltering months.

"I have one more day to convince you to come with us. Trust me, I'm not going to waste it."

She turned at the sound of the voice and found herself staring into the emerald green eyes of Lydon Donahue. His smile was brilliant, his blonde hair tousled in a way that looked like he had spent hours on the messy look. He was the most beautiful person Carol had ever encountered other than her own long lost daughter, inside and out.

"I've been telling you for a month that I won't be staying with your group," she said, unable to keep the sadness out of her voice.

His smile dimmed and she hated that her words caused that reaction. He had taken to her quickly when she had stumbled upon his group while running from a small herd. He had decided that she needed him to stick with her for as long as she would allow it. His ready laugh and bright outlook on the future had caused her to gravitate towards him as well. It was hard to wallow in misery when he spoke of the possibilities of such a happy future, despite the fact that she wasn't so sure she would ever find happiness again.

He had lost his parents early on, leaving him and his aunt on their own for quite awhile until they ran into the group that he was with now. He was barely sixteen but tall for his age. He lost his aunt a little over a year ago when a herd swept through and cut their large group in half. Now it consisted of fifteen people, excluding herself, all of which were men. She had been nervous her first few nights with them but soon learned that they weren't_ those_ kind of men. And even if there had been a few bad apples amongst them, the good far out weighed the bad. Lydon may have been a teenage boy but it was obvious that he longed for that mother figure in his life. She didn't want that, though, and she thought maybe he knew it.

"You'll miss me," he said suddenly, following her gaze across the lake.

She nodded. "I will miss you a lot." But that hadn't stopped her from leaving someone before. The truth was, he was one of the main reasons she was leaving at all. The other men were nice enough but she hadn't gotten close to any of them. But Lydon was different. She had grown to love the boy and that was dangerous. Not only dangerous for her but dangerous for him as well. She had never been a superstitious woman by any means, but she was almost sure that she was cursed. Those that got close to her got hurt and she wouldn't let that happen.

"It's gonna be weird without you around," he said wistfully.

"You'll get used to it. I've only been around for a month. You managed before I ever showed up," she tried to smile but she knew it didn't reach her eyes.

He nodded and now his own smile was lost. "Yeah. I guess I did. It was different though."

She frowned. "How so?"

With a shrug he sat down on a large rock. "I was used to them," he said, motioning towards camp with a nod. "The quiet efficiency of a group that's were only grouped together for survival." A heavy sigh escaped him before his eyes came back to meet hers. "They're miserable. They've been like this the whole time I've been with them."

She pulled her coat tighter around herself and averted her gaze. He was right and the thought was depressing. She had been pretty miserable since she left her group. So miserable that after less than a week she had gotten into her car and high tailed it back to that house, praying that they would still be there. But she had been too late. When she had gotten there they were gone and she wasn't sure where they could have headed off too. She had an idea but that was a long way to travel alone. She had broken down and stayed in the house for three days, almost wishing that a walker would find her and finally end it. She had visited Beth and Maggie's graves and finally left the place.

"Do you think you'll find a place? Like, a safe place?" He asked, pulling her away from her depressing thoughts.

She hugged herself more tightly. "I don't know. I just don't see anywhere really being safe anymore."

"There's always hope."

She shook her head, smiling sadly. "Where do you find it?"

"Find what?"

"All that optimism. You've lost everything and still, you're able to feel like there's more out there."

He shrugged. "I guess I've just never been one to give up. Once you give up you might as well put a bullet in your brain."

She flinched at his words, a vision of Maggie on the barn floor flashing in her mind. The devastated look in Glenn's dark eyes. She willed the memory away. "I hope that's something you get to hold onto," she said. "It's a rare trait now days."

They were quiet after that, both lost in thought as they contemplated their futures.

~H~

He strung another rabbit to his belt and then moved off further into the woods. He had been out there for hours and he planned on staying out there for many more. He wasn't in the mood to talk and he wasn't in the mood to listen. He just wanted to go off and kill things. That was what calmed him. That was where he found his peace. Not in the meaningless droning of the group. Not in involving himself in their plans to build something here. He would do his part. He would work as hard as the others to create a real home, but he couldn't bring himself to involve himself in their celebrating. In his opinion, there was nothing to really celebrate. They were still exposed. They were still in danger. Carol was still gone, Maggie was still dead, Glenn was still coping. So the fuck what if they could go fishing now? He shook his head in disgust.

He readied his bow as he followed the path through the trees. His thoughts turned to the past, like they often did when he was out like this on his own, which was pretty much every free moment he had lately. He thought back to that brief time at the prison, where they'd had the chance to settle for a while. They'd had the chance to flourish.

His eyes were still sharp as his mind drifted, recalling some of the better times the group had shared. Their stay at the old house was so shrouded in heartache that he was surprised how often his mind drifted to the place. The two nights he had shared with Carol was something that he would never be able to forget, no matter how much he wished he could. They were two of the best nights he had had in his life. But he hated those memories. He hated thinking about it because thinking about those nights reminded him that they had meant a whole lot more to him than they had to her. The thought cut him, stopping him in his tracks at the flash of pain. He had been nothing more than a distraction for her. He had been a means of escape so she could forget about the world for a little while. He was her scapegoat while, for that brief time, she had been everything to him. He knew better now. He knew that no matter how much he cared about people, it would never be mutual. No matter how much of himself he offered, it would be ridiculed and thrown back in his face.

He loved her. He loathed her. She had forced him to put those walls back up. She had forced him to shut himself down, lock himself away. With that one thoughtless act, she had ruined him.

Rick had finally insisted on heading for the coast. It hadn't sounded like a bad idea but he later found out that the only reason Rick decided to head that way was because him and Carol had talked about it before and maybe they would find her there. Daryl had been furious. If she had wanted to be found then she wouldn't have left in the first place. He had looked for her for days after she left but she had vanished. She had vanished because she had wanted to. If she had decided that she couldn't bear to lose them she would have come back to the house. They had waited for four days. She hadn't come back.

He ignored the pain and picked up his pace. It was getting colder and he found himself welcoming it. The more uncomfortable he was the less likely he would dwell on the past. Because that's what he was doing. He was dwelling. A man could find himself in a bind quick out here if he wasn't on guard. He was five for five already. Five rabbits, five walkers. Not to bad.


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm happy to see that some of you are sticking around to see where this goes. Angst isn't something I'm really familiar with so thank you for the reviews and thank you for reading! **

**Chapter Twenty One**

It was nearly sundown when it happened. They had just settled down with their meager meal. As usual, all was quiet. These men didn't waste time with words and sometimes Carol appreciated that but it wasn't the comfortable silence that she had shared plenty of times with her old group. This silence was heavy, oppressive. These men were far different from any other group she had encountered. These men were broken. Sometimes she felt as though they were already dead. There was no life left behind their eyes and their presence scared her a littke. Not because they were a threat but because she didn't want to turn into them. She didn't want Lydon to turn into them either.

She kept her eye on Lydon who was sitting across the fire from her. He stared at the flames, his expression far away. If she had an actual destination then maybe she would ask him if he would like to come with her. But she didn't have an actual destination. She was heading east from here and that was all she was sure of. It was time to head to the coast.

She hadn't heard them coming. She didn't know what it was, really. It was more a feeling than anything else. She stood up, turning sharply. Less then thirty yards away, breaking through the trees, were walkers. A lot of them.

She nearly leaped over the fire, grabbing Lydon by the jacked and yanking him to his feet. The others realized what was going on and without hesitation, they scattered. She was out of ammo and had been for a long time now but she had her knife in her hand. This was the kind of situation that you couldn't fight. Your only option was flight, and flee they did, crashing through the trees and ripping through the underbrush as they ran. She didn't see where the other men had headed. They were split up now but she kept her grip on the boys jacket, refusing to let go. This was the very reason she had needed to leave him. She didn't truly care about these men. The loss of them wouldn't have hurt her. She would have felt saddened but she wouldn't have felt like her heart had been mauled. But the boy was different. She cared, and she would do everything in her power to keep him alive.

"There's nowhere to go," he said as they crashed through the quickly darkening woods.

A scream in the distance had the boy's steps faltering as he looked back. She tightened her hold on him. "Keep going," she panted.

He nodded stiffly and then yanked his jacket out of her grip, grabbing her hand and then speeding up. His legs were longer and she realized, to her horror, that she was actually slowing him down. They didn't look back. They ran until they reached the lake and then they still ran. Carol felt as though her lungs would burst and her legs felt like she were running through mud.

"Lydon, you have to keep running," she could barely get the words out.

He shook his head, his face grim. "We both have to keep running."

Pulling her hand out of his she came to a stop, bracing herself with her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. She felt like screaming at him to keep going but if they had managed to get away from the walkers that would just lead them right to the two of them. "Go," she hissed.

He glanced around frantically and then shook his head. "No. I'm not leaving you here."

This was what she didn't want. She didn't need someone to depend on her and she didn't need someone to depend on. She wasn't his mother. He was just some boy that had taken to her because he had lost everything else. She didn't want that. She couldn't deal with it.

"Look," he whispered harshly, "There's a road up ahead, okay. Surely there's a car we can use. When you left tomorrow the rest of us were going to check it out. We can find a car and get the hell out of here."

She met his eyes and then looked back over her shoulder. She didn't see any walkers following and she knew why. That scream from earlier meant someone hadn't been fast enough. They were feeding now but it wouldn't take them long to move on. They were insatiable, and they were numerous. One fallen man wouldn't hold them off. He was pleading with her with his eyes and she found herself unable to send him on his way alone. Mostly because she knew he wouldn't go. He'd stay there and die with her before facing the world alone. So they took off again, every muscle in her body screaming for her to give up.

~H~

It was almost dark when he stepped out of the trees. They were staying in a motel right off the beach. It wasn't one of those hotels that you would pay an arm and a leg for in the world either. It was more like a place him and Merle would have holed up in. Merle used to call them No Tell Motels. The good thing about it was the fact that it was U shaped and there were no windows other than the ones facing the parking lot. There were fifteen rooms on either side with an office area in the middle. Above the office area was a small apartment meant for management to live. That's where Rick stayed with the kids. It was a small place with one bedroom but it gave Rick a chance to give Carl his own space while still keeping close as him and Judith occupied the living area. Daryl took the room closest to the wall that they had constructed. The wall was sturdy and the U shape of the building provided them with their own courtyard of sorts. Just like at the prison, they could still be outdoors without worrying about walkers coming out of nowhere. It was a place they could let their guard down if they wanted, though no one ever did.

He was almost to the wall when he saw a flash of movement further down the beach. He strained his eyes to get a better look, his crossbow up and waiting for a sign of a walker. He cursed when he saw what it was. It wasn't a walker at all but a massive buck. He knew that he should just go on in and ignore it. He could always run into another one, but that wasn't something he could easily do. He still wasn't in the mood to sit around and gab with the others and he definitely wasn't in the mood to sit in his room alone. It was depressing.

He found himself heading in the direction where he had seen the buck wander off. He thought if he could track it quickly and got back before it got to late then all would be okay. Once he was in the woods he lost what little light was left. He cursed but kept moving, not even sure why. It was too dangerous and it was stupid, and still he walked. He stopped in front of a steep incline, shaking his head and turning.

That was when he heard it. The sound of feet pounding on the ground above him. He stepped back, looking up the incline. It wasn't the sound of walkers or an animal, it was a very human run and then out of nowhere someone was barreling down, half sliding and half running towards him. He was so surprised that he was a little late aiming the bow. Whoever this was wasn't going to get the better of him. He was a seasoned veteran of kill or be killed situations.

"Son of a bitch," an unfamiliar voice grunted as the person slammed into a tree at the bottom. He was finally able to make out the form of a small female rising from the ground. When she got up she glanced up the incline and then turned to take off again but stopped when she realized she was just a few feet away from him, and the bow was trained right on her. "You've gotta be kidding me!" She groaned, throwing her arms up.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked in a harsh voice. He wasn't used to running into strangers and the few times he had in this life, it usually turned out to be a bad situation.

"Look old man, I don't want any trouble okay?"

He scowled at the term but kept her in his sites. "What were you runnin' from? There walkers after you?" He asked.

She shook her head and glanced up the hill. "No, not walkers. Men," she snorted. "If you can call'em that. Look, I need to get the hell outta here, okay? I wasn't that far ahead of them."

"Why are they after you?" He asked, not knowing why he was standing around. She obviously wasn't a threat.

She barked out a humorless laugh and glanced over her shoulder once more. "What the hell do you think? Apparently a young piece of ass is a rarity now days. I may have done a little damage to one of them."

He felt a flash of anger run through him as he looked her over. There wasn't much of her features he could make out in the dark but it was obvious that she was very young and pretty small for her age. If he had to guess he would say anywhere between fifteen and eighteen. Certainly no older than that. He looked up at the sound of more feet pounding on the hard packed earth above them, this time it was obvious there was more than one person.

"You just signed my death warrant, asshole!" The girl hissed.

Daryl wasn't sure why he did what he did next. As soon as one of the men started down the incline, Daryl switched his aim off the girl and took the shot. There was a yell and then the man came tumbling down in a heap. Daryl was already loading another bolt as the other man tried to scramble back up. He didn't get far. There was one more and Daryl let this one come on down. He had a few questions for him. He didn't get a chance to ask though. As soon as the man realized that there were two people there he stopped in his tracks. The girl moved swiftly, driving something into the man's stomach. His eyes went wide and he made a grab for her with one hand but she danced out of the way as he went to his knees.

"Damn it," Daryl cursed before putting a bolt in the man's head.

He stood there, looking down at the carnage while she approached the other two, easily sliding the knife into the side of each of their heads.

"Thanks for the help," she said, tucking a strand of unruly hair behind her ear.

He stared at her, still unable to believe what had just happened. "These the only ones?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I was bumming a few miles north of here and they found my camp. They seemed okay at first but then they started acting all weird, ya know. Asking me all these questions about where my group was and how they didn't believe I could be all alone. Once they realized that if I turned up hurt or missing, no one would be looking for me, then they started getting rough."

"How did you get away?" He asked.

She shrugged. "One of them dragged me into the woods and told his three buddies to wait their turn. I guess he wasn't expecting me to put up a fight. He was wrong. I kicked him in the balls and then knifed him. Then I just ran. He yelled and those three came after me."

"What the hell you doin' out there on your own anyway?" He asked, shouldering his bow now that he was fairly certain she wasn't a threat. Not to him anyway.

"It isn't as hard as it looks, trust me. I've been moving south for a while now. Further north there's more settlements that will let you stay as long as you're willing to work. I'm not interested in manual labor so I've been kicked out of a lot of them."

He was surprised by this bit of news and more than a little worried. "I'm holed up in a motel about twenty minutes walk from here. You can come back for the night if you want."

She didn't say anything so he shrugged and started walking back towards the beach. He heard her fall into step behind him. She was quiet until they broke through the trees where the moonlight actually gave him the chance to make out her features. When he glanced down she was staring at him and then she stopped, hands on her hips.

"Look fella, I appreciate the help back there but we need to get one thing straight, okay. I've had a hell of a rough way to go over the past few months but nothing I've been through has given me any sort of daddy issues, alright?" She gestured towards him. "You're okay looking for an old guy and all but don't you dare try to play grab ass with me. I'm not into that kind of thing so if you think I'm going to repay you with any sort of perverted favors, you're completely wrong. If that's the price of your help then me and my dignity will be on our way, you got it?"

He gaped at her and then he felt himself scowl. "Would you shut up!"

She did, watching him.

He shook his head in disgust. "I'm not some kind of kiddie diddler. I should kick your ass for even thinking like that." He started on his way back to the motel, his face flaming. He heard her hurrying after him.

"I'm not a kid. I'll be... eighteen soon. And there's a lot of sick creeps out there," she said once she made it to his side. "Can't blame a girl for not being too trustworthy."

He glanced at her and snorted. "Well, I ain't one of them creeps."

She kept her distance but she didn't let him get too far ahead of her. He wasn't sure why but for some reason she was reminding him of... Merle. He grimaced.


	22. Chapter 22

**I know everyone is eager for a reunion and I am eager for that part too. There are just some things that need to happen before they are together again. It won't be long, though. I'm glad that you all seem to like these kids so far. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Twenty Two**

Sometimes she was unsure about her faith. After everything she had seen and after everything she had done she questioned the existence of a higher power more often than not. But nothing short of Divine Intervention had saved her and Lydon both from certain death. As soon as they hit the highway, both panting and stumbling, more walkers were coming from the other direction.

There was one vehicle on the road. One. There was a herd coming at them from behind and another heading towards them on the other side of the road. And there was only that one car. Lydon went pale as he saw the bodies heading towards them. Carol knew they only had that one shot. They had to get to that car and they had to pray with all their might that there were keys in it and it would actually run. When she yanked the door open and protested with a loud squeal that had the walkers picking up their pace. She shoved Lydon inside and climbed in after him, begging for a God she wasn't sure existed to let the keys be in the ignition.

She cursed when they weren't. The first walker had made it to the passenger side of the car, brainlessly beating on the window. She flipped the visor down and could have sobbed when she heard the jingle of keys fall into her lap. She slammed the key into the ignition and cranked it. The engine groaned and coughed but didn't catch. Three more walkers were clawing at the car. She shook her head. She wouldn't die like this and she wouldn't let another child die either. She turned the key one more time and finally the engine sputtered to life, grumbling angrily as she threw it into gear and put the pedal to the floor.

Divine Intervention indeed.

"Are you okay?" She asked, still breathless.

"I can't believe we're still alive," he croaked, leaning his head against the dash and shaking it back and forth. "We're alive! I could have sworn we were dead meat."

She smiled grimly. "We almost were. I've had closer calls than that though."

He shook his head, squinting through the dirty windshield. They were silent for a long time, no sound but the car plunging through the darkness. When he did finally speak again she was surprised at his words. "I'm sorry."

She turned her head long enough to glance at him. "Sorry? Why in the world are you apologizing to me?"

"I know you wanted to go on your own. You didn't want me to come with you," he said simply.

She sighed and shook her head. "It wasn't that I didn't want you to come with me. It's more complicated than that."

He chuckled. "Things usually are, Carol."

"It had more to do with the fact that I didn't have anywhere to take you. Living like this, always on the move, never knowing what's around the next corner, it's no way to live."

"It's how I've been living for the last two years. It's how everyone lives," he argued.

She could feel his eyes on her and she shook her head, her heart aching. "It's how people survive, Lydon. It isn't how they live. I've lived in this world. What we were doing. That wasn't living."

"So what are we going to do now? Now that you're stuck with me anyway?"

She remembered a conversation she had had a while back ago. A conversation she had had with Rick. She knew what she had to do. It was something she should have done a long time ago. She wasn't sure what she would find once she got there, but she had to face it. She had tried and had failed to keep up this charade. She couldn't live without her group. She couldn't live without him. "Now we go to the coast and we find my family."

She felt his eyes on her but refused to look at him. "You have a family?"

A sad smile graced her lips but it didn't last. "I do."

"What happened? Did you get separated from them? Have you known where they've been this whole time? Why haven't you told me any of this?"

She was surprised that he almost sounded angry. "I left them about six months ago. Things happened and I couldn't deal with it so I just... took off."

"Why would you do that?" He asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"I'm a coward. I couldn't deal with things. We had lost so many people. Good people. I couldn't handle losing anyone else."

"And that's why you didn't want me to come with you?" He asked.

She nodded. "That's one reason. That and, maybe if you knew that I wasn't as good as you thought I was then you wouldn't want to come with me in the first place." She laughed bitterly. "I've been an idiot."

"You left a man there?"

Now she looked at him. "How would you know that?"

He shrugged. "You have that look."

She didn't ask him to elaborate because she didn't even want to hear the theories of love from a sixteen year old boy. She drove steadily, barreling east as fast as the poor car would take her.

~H~

When Daryl woke up it was with a pained groan. His room was freezing and he felt like he hadn't slept at all. That was normal though. It seemed like he hadn't slept in six months. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands, reaching for the pack of cigarettes he kept on the nightstand by the bed. He slept in his clothes so all he had to do was shove his feet into his boots and he was out the door. The sun didn't hurt his eyes too bad but he squinted towards the center of the yard where they usually kept a fire going. Rick was standing there with the girl, who had told them her name was Piper. With a sigh he headed over to join the rest of the group. Rick was probably about to ask her his three questions.

Now that the lighting was much better he didn't really believe that she was as old as she said. She had mentioned she wasn't far from eighteen but maybe it was just her small stature that made her seem younger.

"Hey old man!" She grinned as she pulled the curly main of red hair out of her face and into a ponytail. "You know, your friend here is a huge downer. Is he always so damn... glum?"

Daryl felt his lips twitch as he watched Rick put his hands on his hips, staring the girl down. Michonne was behind him, trying to repress a smile of her own. Rick cleared his throat. "I told you last night that if you wanted you could stay with us. If you've decided you want to do that I have some questions you need to answer."

She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing. "Okay. You ask your question and then I have a few for you."

Rick wasn't used to this. "That sounds fair." He glanced at Daryl and nodded before his eyes went back to the girl. "How many walkers have you killed?"

She made a face. "No idea. You guys keep track of shit like that? What a bunch of weirdos."

Rick was having an incredibly hard time keeping up with her. He cleared his throat. "Okay. But you have killed walkers?"

This earned him an eye roll. "Yeah. I've killed as many as I could but I don't keep a journal or anything."

"How many people have you killed?" He said, his voice deadly serious.

She stiffened, her eyes going to Daryl for a brief moment before meeting Rick's again. She crossed her arms in front of her but she didn't answer right away. "Fifteen," she deadpanned and then she shook her head. "I forgot about last night. Seventeen."

Rick's eyes widened for a moment, surprised at the body count. Daryl, for some reason, wasn't surprised. "Why?"

Her eyes went to the fire next to her. "My mom and sister were bit so I put them down."

"You didn't wait for them to turn?" Rick asked.

She looked up. "Why the hell would I do that? Is that what you do? You watch your people turn into one of those things before you end it? You're a real sick fuck, you know that?"

"Hey," Daryl warned.

Her eyes went to him, narrowed and full of venom.

"No, that isn't what we do. But you're just a kid. A kid shouldn't have to do something like that," Rick said quickly, his tone more gentle. Daryl knew that his mind was probably on Carl and what the boy had done for his own mother back at the prison.

She snorted. "Save it,_ dad_. We have to do what we have to do. It don't matter how old we are."

Rick looked to Daryl for help but all Daryl could do was shrug. He had no idea how to handle this girl and he wasn't going to try. This was Rick's thing. Daryl was only there to watch.

"So that explains two. What about the others?" Rick pressed.

She threw her arms up and paced a few feet. "I was with a group of my mom's friends for about a year when the safe house got raided by this group of assholes. I picked off as many as I could but most of my group was dead or taken. Twelve kills total after that day."

"You were on your own after that?"

She nodded. "I had a few run ins with some bad dudes a few times. It was one of those kill or be killed kind of situations, you know?"

Rick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you wanna stay?"

She glanced around as the others started filing out to start their day. She took in all the curious faces and then looked up at Rick again. "What am I gonna have to do to stay here? I'm not sleeping with any of the men here," she said quickly.

Rick's scowl matched Daryl's and even Abe and Michonne looked up sharply. Rick shook his head. "That isn't something you would have to do. You'd have to take your turn on watch. You could help finding food and keeping fresh water stocked. Things like that."

Daryl recalled something she had said the night before that he hadn't mentioned to Rick yet. "What about those settlements you mentioned?"

She laughed, apparently no longer worried about what her place would be in the group. "There's quite a few. Some are bigger than others. I guess a lot of people thought the coast was a good idea. There aren't as many around here. I don't know about south of here but there's one maybe forty miles north."

"You've been to it?" Rick asked. Daryl could tell by the sound of his voice that this made him nervous. It didn't set well with him either.

Piper nodded. "Yeah. I've been there a couple of times."

"What kind of people are they?" Rick asked, a hard edge to his voice.

"Same as you'd find anywhere I guess. There's some good people there and there's some assholes there. You probably have the same thing goin on here, just on a smaller scale. Like Red over there, I bet he's a real dick."

Daryl glanced at Abe who looked up, glaring at the girl. Rick was too interested in what she was saying about this place to pay much attention to Abe.

"You think we'd have to worry about them coming here?" Rick asked.

She rolled her eyes, clearly bored with the conversation. "No. They stay put."

"Why'd you leave?" Rick asked.

"Jesus! What's with all these damn questions?" She sighed. "I left because I got caught stealing, okay? And when you get caught stealing usually people want you gone."

Daryl was about to ask her what the hell she had been caught stealing but she was talking before he could.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked as Carl approached, holding Judith's hand as she made her way towards her father.

"Carl. Who are you?" He asked, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes.

"Piper. How old are you?"

Carl glanced over at Rick before he answered. "Fifteen. Why?"

Piper studied him quizzically for a moment before nodding. "You're pretty cute. In a few years, we should definitely make out."

Daryl groaned as Carl's face turned three shades of red. Michonne actually walked away then but Daryl could see her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Rick's mouth was open in shock. Daryl had a strange feeling that this girl was going to bring a whole new element to the group. It wasn't unwelcome, either.

Carol would have gotten a real kick out of this girl's spunk. He winced slightly. The thought had come unbidden. The slight smile dropped from his face and he turned towards the wall. A few hours out in the woods would do him some good. He knew he was lying to himself. He lied to himself every morning. It never did him any good.

"Hey old man!" Piper called.

He turned as she jogged up to him, slipping out the man sized door. She followed him. "What?" He asked gruffly.

"Why the long face?" She asked as she walked with him.

"None of your business," he grumbled.

"I'm going with you. Everyone back there keeps looking at me like I'm a freak," she said with a grin.

He found it oddly frustrating that he couldn't keep the smile off his face. He doubted that he would have to worry too much about dwelling on things. This kid didn't seem like the type to let someone dwell. "Cause you are a freak," he muttered.

She grinned. "I dig you, old man. I think me and you are gonna get along just fine."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three**

They made it all the way to the outskirts of Augustine before running out of gas. The gas hand was below E the whole time and after a while she decided that it was just a broken gas gauge. That was a blessing and a curse. Knowing they weren't running on fumes was a little reassuring. Not knowing when they would be however, was more than a little nerve wracking. Lydon slept for most of the way and she had to shake his shoulder once the car finally sputtered to a stop.

"We need to either find another ride or find a place to stay for a few hours so we can rest up," she said as she looking out at the desolate street in front of them.

He sat up, his eyes sharp. She was worn completely out but he was younger and he had been able to get at least a few hours of rest in the time they had been driving. "Back when this all first happened, my parents and I stayed in the attic of a house outside of Atlanta for a while. We could do that."

The street they were on was in an upper middle class neighborhood with nice large homes and deep lawns. In another world she had dreamed of living in a house like one of these. She had never dreamed to big. She never saw herself in a mansion or driving a Mercedes. From what she could see the houses were missing windows and several of them had doors left open. Many people had probably already been through the neighborhood but there could have easily been a car left inside of one of the garages.

She glanced over and smiled tiredly. "We should keep going. We can check the garages and look for another car. There has to be something nicer than this hunk of junk. And when we find one you can drive. I need to get some sleep."

"We can stay here today, get back on the road tomorrow," he said, a hint of worry in his tone.

She thought about it for a second. Sleep sounded amazing and since there were two of them she wouldn't have to worry about anything sneaking up on her. But then she shook her head. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't keep telling herself that she had done the right thing by leaving. Maybe she had to be forced into a situation that had her feeling like she needed to find them again, but now that the thought was in her mind she couldn't shake it. She had to find them. She had no doubt that Daryl hated her now. She was scared to see him, but she had to. Or she at least had to try.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "We need to find them as soon as we can."

"Are you sure they'll take you back?" He asked as they got out of the car, keeping his voice low.

She felt her eyes mist over but she nodded. "I think so. I hope so."

Rick would take her back, she was sure. Whether Glenn would want to see her was another story and she was sure Daryl wouldn't have anything nice to say to her. This wouldn't be like their last reunion. He wouldn't run to her this time. She would be lucky if he didn't demand she leave. But she couldn't worry about that though. She needed to think about Lydon because the boy needed the group. And as much as she wished she could deny it, she needed them too.

Every house they came to ended up being a bust. They were blocks away from where they began before they found a car. The house had been ransacked. The owners had killed themselves early on. There had been obvious gunshot wounds to the head but no guns to be found. She didn't find it odd that her and Lydon barely blinked at the site of them lying there like that. It was amazing what people could get used to. It was in the garage that the boy showed a normal reaction to something. Or what would have passed as normal in the old days.

"Jesus," Lydon muttered, taking in the sleek car. "And I get to drive this?"

Carol raised her brows at the car. Ed had sold cars for a living so she knew what this was. Not long before the world ended someone had purchased a brand new Jaguar. She couldn't believe no one had taken it yet. She motioned for him to follow her back into the house. She wasn't stupid. That car had an alarm and they wouldn't be able to take it unless they could find the key, not unless they wanted to trigger the alarm and bring hell down upon them. That was probably why no one else had bothered to take it. They searched the house for a long time but came up empty handed. When they went back out to the garage she looked at the car morosely. She knew that this was one car that they wouldn't have to worry about breaking down on them if they could figure out a way to take it.

She was about to tell him that they just had to keep searching when she thought of something. When Ed had been in the car business she remembered that sometimes there was a spare key kept in a magnetized box attached to the undercarriage. She doubted that they would get that lucky but she had to check. She went to her knees, almost sure she wouldn't find anything as she felt around under the car.

"This is so pointless. I can't think of anyone stupid enough to leave a key box under a car like..." She closed her mouth as her hand closed over a rectangular box. She gave a forceful pull and then looked down at it with her flashlight. "Holy shit," she muttered, glancing up as he came around to investigate. She held it up with a grin. If their luck held like this then they'd be back with the others by morning. Something told her, though, that her luck would run out long before that ever happened.

She stood up and tossed him the box. He grinned.

"Happy Birthday. For now at least, you're the proud owner of a previously owned Jag."

~H~

"Did you know that if you get lost at sea, your body gets so deprived of nutrients that you start craving fish eyeballs? And when you eat them they taste sweet like candy. You ever ate a fish eyeball?"

Daryl made a face. She had kept this up all damn day. "Where the hell do you come up with this shit, kid?"

She shrugged. "You've hit the jackpot, old man. I'm so full of useless information that it should be illegal. Did you know that the word fuck originated in the dark ages?"

He gave her sidelong look but finally shook his head.

"Well, back then if a married couple wanted to have a baby they had to go to the king and get permission. If he gave them the okay then he would give them this plaque to hang on their door that said, Fornication Under Consent of the King. F-U-C-K. So when people walked by and saw that plaque on the door they would know to leave the couple be because they were fucking. How embarrassing would that be? To put a plaque on the door so all your friends and neighbors knew you were in there getting it on? That's messed up." She shook her head.

He stared at her and realized that everyone else was staring at her too. He didn't know if it was because he had helped her out with those guys the night before or if it was because she simply enjoyed his company, which he was seriously doubting, but she had been following him around all day. Normally he would have told her to go the hell away but she was distracting. He hadn't had a second to think all day. For him, that was something. Here lately, he found himself thinking a lot.

Like, what he could have done differently to keep Carol with the group. He stood up quickly, shaking the thought and walked towards his room. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder and spun around. He was surprised to see Abe standing there. As a rule the two of them didn't talk. Somehow, in Daryl's mind, some of the fault of her being gone fell on Abe's shoulders. If the bastard had just told someone she had taken off then she would be here.

"I'd move that hand if I were you," he nearly snarled.

Abe dropped his hand and looked over his shoulder towards the fire where the others were sitting. "You think it's smart to let that girl stay here?"

Daryl felt the urge to punch the man but kept his cool. "What the hell are you talkin' about? She's just a kid. We don't just send kids packin'."

"You really believe her story?" Abe asked.

Daryl scoffed. "What, you think she's pulling a Eugene on us? You think she's makin' it all up because she wants to be protected?"

Abe glowered. "You know what I'm talking about. She was in trouble when you found her and she just admitted this morning that she was a thief. After everything we've been through, you really want to risk someone getting hurt because she might have people after her?"

Daryl wasn't sure if it was because it was Abe that had brought it up or if it was the fact that he felt slightly responsible for the girl since he was the one that brought her to the group, but either way, he was sick of Abe's crap. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

Abe glared. "I'm thinking about the group. Hell, it isn't like you even know this girl. What, you think you've found yourself some young fiery replacement for the woman you couldn't keep? Is this your way of getting over Carol?"

He didn't even remember what went through his mind after that. One minute he was standing there listening to Abe's bullshit and the next thing he knew Rick, once again, was hauling him off of the man. This time Abe didn't get up. He'd either killed him or he had knocked him unconscious and he didn't care either way. He jerked away from Rick and watched as Rosita ran to kneel next to Abe.

"What the hell was that about?" Rick asked harshly.

Daryl met his stare for a few long moments, before he looked away, out towards the wall.

Rick's eyes softened and he shook his head. "Brother, you have to just let this go. Let her go. You're pulling back and none of us can stand to watch it."

Daryl spit at Abe's feet but didn't respond to Rick's words. He didn't respond because there was nothing to say. Rick was right. Hell, if he was completely honest with himself, Abe was right too. Daryl was one hundred percent positive that there was no physical attraction to the girl, But there was definitely the stirring of an emotional attachment. Nothing like love. More like camaraderie. A simple easy friendship that wasn't weighed down with grief. When he looked at the members of the group he was reminded of Carol. He could see her in their eyes, behind their looks filled with worry and maybe even pity. With this girl it wasn't like that.

He turned, continuing on to his room. He felt them all staring. He didn't even stick around long enough to hear the verdict on whether Abe was okay or not. He didn't care. He slammed the door behind him and then heard a muffled sound.

"Ouch!"

He scowled and opened the door, looking down into a pair of angry jade eyes.

"What the hell did you do that for?" She asked, holding her nose.

"Give it a rest, kid. I'm not in the mood for company," he said in a low voice.

To his surprise she pushed past him. "No shit. Explains the broken nose."

"You ain't even bleedin'," he argued, shutting the door against the cold breeze.

She turned and dropped her hand. "So, who is she?"

He scowled and opened the door, pointing towards the others. "Out," he growled.

She rolled her eyes. "You're adorable. Who is she?" She asked, sitting down on the unmade bed. "I heard what Red Rocket said to you about me. What a sick bastard." She made a face and looked towards the window. "So, who's the woman he assumes I'm replacing?"

He ran a hand through his hair, keeping his eyes narrowed on hers.

When she finally realized he wasn't going to say anything she stood up, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Fine, old man. I'm out. But I'm coming back after you've had time to compose yourself. There's nothing worse than a grown man brooding like a teenage vampire. I thought you were manlier than that."

He frowned. "A what?"

"You know, from those books. Those vampire saga books where the vampire guy was all brooding and twinkly and he fell in love with the human girl and then all kinds of shit happens. You're like him, all stoic and miserable with that emotionally constipated look on your face half the time. Oh, then some other lady totally hacked the characters and wrote a porn saga but changed the names and stuff but I doubt you'd be into any books like that. Not that I read them or anything."

"Piper," he said loudly, gesturing towards the door he was still holding open for her.

She blinked. "Oh yeah. On my way out. I'll be back though."

He groaned inwardly. He was sure that she would be back. This girl was fucking exhausting.


	24. Chapter 24

**This is late and I'm sorry! I had a Birthday party to throw for my daughter and now I have a house full of company that I haven't seen since my last stint in jail ;) I'm kind of joking. But really, I'm super busy this weekend and I'm sorry for the delay! This is the last chapter you have to suffer through and then finally there is the reunion. I hope you enjoy this one anyway. **

**Chapter Twenty Four**

They hadn't been able to take any quick routes. They had to hit a lot of back roads and many times even those roads proved to be blocked, causing them to have to back track. She wasn't positive that she would find them here but she did remember Rick mentioning Pawleys Island back at that old house. What would have been less than a three hour trip from Augustine to Pawleys Island turned out to be a six hour trip.

"What's everyone like?" Lydon asked as they neared the South bridge.

She smiled despite the flash of pain. "They're the strongest group of people I've ever met. You'll love them. Carl is just a little bit younger than you. You'll also love Tara. There's too many great things to say about them."

"Are you ever going to tell me why you left? Why you really left?" He asked quietly.

She looked out the window at the marshes. "I left because... sometimes things happen and you think you can't face people. You get it in your head that you don't deserve love or companionship. I've done a lot of things that I'm not exactly proud of and I've hurt people that I never should have hurt."

"What's his name?" Lydon asked, pulling her away from the view to stare at him.

For a second she thought about refusing to acknowledge his question but then she opened her mouth. "Daryl. His name is Daryl Dixon."

"Why'd you leave him?"

"Because you're riding in a car with the biggest idiot on the planet," she muttered, feeling miserable.

He chuckled. "Well, if it's any consolation to you, there aren't as many idiots in the world as there used to be. Being the biggest one isn't as big a feat as it could have been."

She felt her lips twitch but she kept her expression stern. "Thanks a lot."

He flashed her that stunning grin. "Any time."

Silence reigned after that, and she felt herself growing more and more nervous. She didn't know what she was going to say and she didn't know how they were going to react to her sudden appearance. She was dreading it so much. Seeing the look in Daryl's eyes once she found them terrified her. Not knowing whether Glenn blamed her for Maggie was haunting her. It turned out, she didn't have to worry much about finding them quickly. Once the bridge came into view it was obvious that they wouldn't be getting to the island in the car.

"You've got to be kidding me. Didn't you say there were two bridges?" Lydon asked desperately.

She nodded. "There is but we can't expect it to be in any better shape. We might as well walk from here."

"But the car!" He wailed. "We can't just leave the car."

She opened the door, her eyes scanning for movement on the bridge. The last time she had been on a bridge was when she was with Daryl in Atlanta and that hadn't ended well. If walkers came at them from both sides while they were on this particular bridge, they would likely just have to jump to their death.

"What if they aren't even here?" Lydon asked.

She felt her heart sink at the thought. What_ if_ they weren't here? She had no idea. "Maybe we should drive the coast for a bit?" She offered, unsure if it was really smart to do that. She was here on nothing but a hunch. The others could have traveled anywhere. What her and Rick had discussed had been a random conversation.

"I can definitely live with that," he said as he put the car in reverse.

"I'm sure you can. But only a few miles out, okay? If we see no sign of them then we're ditching the car and we're hoofing it across that bridge, got it?"

"Got it."

She looked out the window again and sighed. She was scared. She knew she needed to try the island first but was she really ready to see them? She wasn't sure. So she would waste daylight, indulging the boy, so she wouldn't have to face the mess that she had made by walking out.

They headed north, keeping their eyes peeled for any sign of life.

~H~

Daryl couldn't believe what he was hearing. Rick was never going to learn. "Are you stupid?" He asked, unable to mask the disbelief in his voice.

Rick eyed him patiently, only infuriating him further. "Daryl, it's a good call. I talked to the girl and she said it was a good idea. This isn't Woodbury or Terminus."

"He's right," Piper said quickly. "They aren't bad people. Most of the settlements work together. They do a lot of trading with one another when it comes to food and goods. You guys, seriously, you do okay but you would have it a lot easier if you set up a relationship with them."

"If it was so damn peachy then why the hell are you here? You were out there on your own and don't give me none of that shit about you not being able to follow the damn rules and you not liking the idea of work. Hell, I've seen you do plenty around here already."

Rick sighed but he couldn't argue. He gave the girl a pointed look. "That's a good question."

Her eyes narrowed, looking between them. "Fine." She threw up her hands and turned to walk away. But Daryl grabbed her by the back of the shirt and yanked her back. She slowly turned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Remember when I told you that I got in trouble at one of these places for stealing?"

Both men nodded, studying her.

She blew a strand of hair out of her face and rolled her eyes. "Well, it may have been a little more than that. I didn't just steal a few things here and there. I was taking a lot of stuff and I was trading it to rogue groups."

Daryl and Rick shared a look. "Rogue groups?" Rick asked.

"It's a term they use to describe groups like this one. The people that form communities call themselves settlers. They've created real communities with basic laws. Whenever they see a group like this, people that move from place to place they call them rogues. Some people call them nomads. Either way, usually these rogue groups are bad news."

Daryl shook his head. "Enough of that shit. What the hell were you stealing?"

She sighed. "I ran into a rogue group and joined up with them for a while, after I lost my own people. They were a pretty rough group and I kind of got into some bad stuff. One of the guys, his name was Jackson or something like that, he was like this genius and he was really good at cooking up synthetic drugs. I may or may not have dabbled with some heavy shit. They wouldn't give it to me for free and I wasn't about to play baby prostitot to these assholes so we had an agreement. I'd go to these settlements and I'd rob them blind for dope." She shrugged. "Stop looking at me like that! I've been clean for a long time!"

Rick gave Daryl a look like he would know how to handle this situation. He gave Rick a look like Rick could kiss his ass. He didn't know what the hell to say to the kid. "What?" He asked when Rick didn't say anything.

"Are you going to handle this?" Rick asked, giving the girl a pointed look.

"No. What the hell do I look, her damn daddy. You're the cop. You handle her."

"Screw you both! I don't need handled. That was months ago!" Piper said, looking taken aback.

Daryl sent her off to help Glenn and Rosita so he could talk to Rick. He couldn't say anything to the kid. He wasn't her dad and she wasn't his responsibility. From her description of the place, he really wasn't sure if he actually had anything to worry about. He still couldn't shake the other run ins they had had with people though.

"I think we should check it out," Rick said again. "You heard her."

Daryl looked off in the direction she had gone, shaking his head. "You're gonna do whatever you want regardless. If you think it's for the best then I guess I'm in."

Rick sighed. "If you're still against it then we can talk about it with the others. See what they think."

Daryl snorted. "You know what they'll say. Hell, we might as well give it a shot."

It took Rick little time talking the others into it. Glenn was one of the first to volunteer. Tara and Rosita thought it would be a good idea for them to lay low with Abraham, who Daryl had managed to not kill during their fight earlier. If something bad started going down they would have eyes on the place from outside.

It was agreed that they would leave in the morning. Showing up after dark seemed much too risky. Instead Rick talked Daryl into going to the beach in search of food rather than hit the woods. Daryl reluctantly agreed. They were quiet for a long time as they searched under rocks like a couple of cave men.

"How you holding up?" Rick asked after a while.

Daryl glanced up at him and snorted. "Can think of better things to do than catching crabs out here with you."

Rick laughed and Daryl felt his face flame when he thought about his words.

"You know what I mean, asshole," he grumbled.

"And you know what I mean," Rick countered, the smile fading as he met his eyes.

Daryl stood up. "We got plenty. We should head back now." He wasn't doing this. Why the hell wouldn't people just leave him alone about it? He was dealing with it in his own way, which was by pretending like everything was fine and doing what he needed to do by himself.

Rick put his hands on his hips and gave him a severe look. "You know, if we end up on good terms with the people at this settlement there's always a chance that you might meet someone-"

"Fuck you, Rick," Daryl growled. "Don't give me that shit." Had Rick lost his fucking mind? He'd put up with a lot of shit but this was a low blow and even Rick had to know it.

Rick held up his hands in surrender. "It was just a suggestion. I thought maybe it'd do you some good. She's not the only woman out there, you know. I gave up as soon as I realized that I didn't have a chance with her. I didn't give up because I wanted to. You don't have to give up on the chance to actually be with someone."

Rick didn't understand. He gave up on the idea of himself and Carol so quickly because Rick never loved her. Daryl had. And then she had thrown it right back in his face. Maybe Rick could find someone else but Daryl didn't want anyone else. There wasn't anyone out there that he would ever give the time of day. Him and Carol had had something and it was something that he wouldn't find with anyone else. "Drop it," he said, a clear warning in his voice.

Rick didn't look as though he really wanted to drop anything at all but he nodded and let it go. Daryl knew that the man was just worried about him but that didn't matter. He wasn't going to listen to it, not from Rick or anyone else. When he saw Glenn approaching he shook his head. Just great.


	25. Chapter 25

**Good morning, or afternoon, depending where you are. About 13 more days and this will be wrapped up and I am so glad for that. This is the first story I've written that I stuck to my guns with and wrote before actually posting. I did it because life is hectic sometimes and I wanted to be able to update quickly. And I haven't gotten this much crap for a story since my first attempt at writing one two years ago. **

**I usually go out of my way to please everyone and I think that people are so used to that that me writing something that doesn't fit snuggly into the typical Haitus80 box is hard to swallow. Yes, they've been separated and that sucks. Yes, there are OC's and they suck too. At least for some. And I get that. It's just kind of frustrating to know that to keep readers, I have to do exactly what they want me to do and not tell the story that's in my head to tell. No, this isn't a fluffy sparkling story. But I haven't ran the characters through the ringer. No one has been raped, beaten, brutalized, humiliated or tortured. **

**Anyway, some of you are digging it and that's great. Really great. Because it's starting to seem like the reason other stories were such a success was because I did almost everything people wanted me to do and not because of the writing or the story at all. And for a writer, even a fanfiction writer, that is a really difficult thing to deal with. But I'll keep posting because it's already been written and a few of you actually like the writing. This one time, I wrote because this was the story I wanted to tell and not because I wanted to please everyone else. Sorry for the rant but it's been a rough night. I'm sure that it'll be another rough night. So, here's to you having a better day than me. Thanks for reading.**

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Her guard went up as soon as she spotted them. Her heart picked up and her hand went to the knife at her hip. It was strange because she had this very reaction when she had seen Lydon and his group for the first time. She had gotten used to humans being the bigger threat and she was having a hard time accepting that not everyone was out to cause harm. There were plenty of people in the world that were just like her own group. Good people trying to make it.

"You okay?" Lydon asked softly.

She nodded but didn't take her eyes off the people that were walking towards them from the beach, carrying buckets. The road was blocked off at this point, a pile up of vehicles that didn't look accidental. Someone had moved these cars here.

A few members of the group waved but she didn't wave back. Who the hell did that now? She opened the door muttering a quick, "Stay here," to the boy.

The group consisted of three men, two women and two little boys that looked to be around nine or ten. She took a few steps towards them, willing herself to not draw the knife. Two men turned to the others, speaking low and then started walking towards her. She watched their faces carefully, looking for any sign of hostility but all she saw were open friendly faces. As a matter of fact, they looked more concerned than anything else.

"Evening, Miss. Can we help you with anything?" The taller man asked.

Carol cleared her throat, her eyes sharp as she kept watching them, waiting for them to draw a weapon. "Just passing through. Is there a reason this road is blocked?" She tried to keep her voice even but even she could hear the challenge in her tone.

The two men looked at one another and then back to her. "Actually, that was to keep people from just passing through. A few miles back there's a detour that'll take you around so you can keep heading north on the highway."

She nodded and backed towards the car. She flinched when she heard the drivers door close and then Lydon came around the car. She shot him a look but he ignored her. The men nodded at him as he came to stand next to her.

"You folks have a camp here?" He asked.

For the first time since meeting him Carol felt like grabbing him up and shaking him. Was he an idiot?

The two men walked closer and actually offered their hands. Carol shook each one in turn but she wasn't easily impressed. She had always heard stories about how charming Philip Blake had been, back before he lost his mind and tried to kill them all.

"My name's Luke and this is my son Logan. We have a settlement here, not a camp."

Carol studied the two men more closely. There was a definite resemblance but Luke didn't look old enough to have a son that was obviously in his twenties. "What do you mean, settlement?" She asked.

"A town. We've walled it off for the most part. Most people we take in decide to stay but we can offer you both a room for the night if you need shelter."

She narrowed her eyes. "You just take in anyone off the roads?"

He smiled. "Ma'am, I don't own the town or the land or the shops or the homes. It isn't my place to keep anyone in or out. I offer strangers a safe place and if they mind the laws and help when they can, well, the more the merrier."

"What laws?" She asked, still extremely skeptical of this new development.

He shrugged. "Well, you can't run around killing townsfolk. You can't steal from people and we look down on nudists," he chuckled at his own joke and his son rolled his eyes. "Other than that, it's pretty much a free settlement."

She glanced at Lydon, who was looking at her excitedly. She felt torn because she knew how dangerous other people could be but she also felt like she needed to do what was best for him. They were both exhausted and they were both starving and these people seemed okay. Not that that was much comfort. Anyone could seem okay. She looked harmless as a mouse but she had murdered before. This world changed people.

"Okay," she said reluctantly. "We could use a room for the night if you're sure it isn't putting anyone out."

He smiled kindly, seeming to sense her unease. "Not at all. You can leave the car if you'd like. It isn't worth a whole lot now days."

Lydon glanced over his shoulder, staring a the sleek car longingly. She linked her arm through his, smiling at the devastation on his face. "You heard the man. It'll be fine."

"I should have just stayed in the damn car," he muttered.

Now her smile was genuine as she nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you should have. Now if something happens to it, you have no one but yourself to blame."

He groaned but followed behind the others.

~H~

At first light they headed out in the Jeep that had gotten them all the way to South Carolina. Daryl reluctantly agreed to let Piper come along and hang back with the others while him, Glenn and Rick made their way towards the fences. Daryl wasn't surprised when they were actually approached by a few men leaving the fence that surrounded the area.

Daryl let Rick do the talking. He kept his eyes on the men that were walking the perimeter inside the fences. When he glanced over Rick seemed to have relaxed slightly. Daryl wasn't about to do the same. They didn't know these people and even though he trusted Piper he didn't trust that she had been able to really read these people while she was here. They could have shown a girl her age one thing but behind closed doors they could have been much more sinister. Even Daryl had to admit, however, that these men didn't come off as dangerous. They introduced themselves quickly.

"I'm surprised," the man said as he glanced over his shoulder. "Just last night we ran into a woman and her son. Now you three this morning."

Daryl tuned out after that as he kept scanning the area. He heard the man introduce himself as Luke. Rick seemed relaxed now as the men were leading them to the gate.

"You get new people often?" Rick asked the man as they were let inside the gates.

The man shrugged. "It depends really. We've had several run ins with rogues. No offense, but usually they don't come around because they have any friendly intentions. Most people, though, end up wanting to stay once they get here. We deal with other settlements like this one. We have a good relationship with all of them."

"We aren't looking to stay here. We just wanted to see what we were dealing with in case we stayed in the area for a while," Rick explained. Daryl was glad he didn't disclose their location. The motel was back from the road and wasn't easily spotted. They had torn the sign down when they had first decided to give the place a try.

"What kind of things do you trade?" Daryl asked suddenly.

Luke's eyes finally settled on him and he shifted on his feet. Daryl seemed to make him a little more nervous than Rick did. Good. Luke cleared his throat and offered a shrug. "A lot of things really. Food, for one. All of us along the coast have plenty of seafood but every now and then a man just wants some red meat. We don't have money so most of us just barder. Everyone has different skills. Some folks are better at working the land than others. Some are better fishermen. We have hunters, gatherers. It isn't a bad set up really. We're all just trying to start over."

"And you ain't had no problems with other groups?" Daryl asked. They were walking down the middle of the street and looked strangely normal. Like before the world ended.

"We have but this is a big town and everyone here is willing to help defend it. I think we're up to a hundred and fifty people."

Daryl, Glenn and Rick stopped, looking at the man with wide eyes. "That's a lot of people. How do you enforce the laws here?" Rick asked.

Luke shrugged easily. "It isn't as hard as you would think, really. Most of the people here are grateful enough to have a place to raise their families that everyone keeps an eye out for everyone else. There may be a lot of us as far as numbers go but we're a close knit community here. All we want to do is survive this thing as best we can."

The streets were clean. There were shop doors open and there were several people meandering about. The sight was so surreal that Daryl had to blink a few times to make sure his eyes weren't playing any tricks on him. He had heard stories of Woodbury from Merle but he also remembered hearing stories about the ominous feeling that some of the others had there. He hadn't spent much time there himself and what time he had been there it had been a damn nightmare. But this place didn't have a strange feel about it at all. He felt a little awed actually.

He was eyeing a sign for a sporting goods store when he quickly went from awe to stunned into complete stillness. There, coming out of the store with an easy smile on her face, glued to the arm of some young blonde guy, was Carol. He stared, expecting her to vanish like a mirage but she didn't. She looked different but it was still her. Her hair was a little longer and she was a little thinner than the last time he had seen her, but it was her all the same. The guy with her said something and she gave him an indulgent look before she laughed.

"Is that..." Glenn's voice jarred him out of his momentary stupor.

He watched as Glenn ran past him, calling her name. He saw her look up, her eyes going impossibly wide when she saw Glenn. And then she was off her feet as he grabbed her in a crushing hug. She seemed as stunned as he was for a second and then he saw her hug him back, clinging to the back of his shirt like she wasn't planning on letting go of him.

Rick was there now, even though he hadn't even noticed his friend moving towards her at all. He could hear their happy laughter. He could see the happy tears in her eyes as she hugged Rick just as hard as she had hugged Glenn. She kept her hands on Rick's shoulders when he finally pulled away. She said something and then Rick glanced Daryl's way.

When her eyes landed on him he felt that old wound tear open. The hurt in his chest that she had left him with when she had walked out on him. It was raw and real and it took all of his will to pull in a breath. Once he had some air in his lungs he did the only thing he could do. The only thing that made sense in the chaos of his thoughts.

He turned around and he walked stiffly towards the gate. "Let me out," he growled to Luke, sounding like a caged animal, feeling like a caged animal. Luke didn't ask any questions. He hurried ahead of him so he could get the gate open. Without a backwards glance he headed straight for the trees, avoiding the spot where him and Rick had left the others. He would make it back before nightfall on his own. He needed to get away. As far away from her as he could get.


	26. Chapter 26

**Just a quick thank you to you readers that made it clear that I'm doing what I need to be doing. Thank you so much for reading and sticking with it through the hard parts. =)**

**Chapter Twenty Six**

She refused to cry, even though she wanted to. She was the one that did this. She was the reason for that look in his eyes when she had looked up and realized he was standing there, only a few yards away. She was the reason he had turned his back on her and left without a word. She deserved all of it and more. And now she had an idea what he may have felt that morning he had woken up and realized she was gone.

"You're coming back with us, right?" Glenn asked suddenly.

"Of course she is. She belongs with her family," Rick said quickly.

She finally dragged her eyes away from the gate he had disappeared through. Swallowing roughly around the lump in her throat she met Glenn's eyes first. There was no accusations behind his look, even though she could see the haunted look in his eyes. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I'm sorry," she said, hating the shaky quality of her voice. Wishing that she could go back six months and erase the damage she had done.

"Carol, you know you always have a home with us. He's hurt. He's _been_ hurt. But he'll come around," Rick said gently.

She looked down and shook her head. "He needs space. It's the least I can do after what I did."

Glenn sighed waiting for her to meet his eyes before he went on. "He's had space. Space is killing him. You don't know how hard that hit him. He..." Glenn must have seen the torment in her eyes because his voice trailed off and he looked away. "Just come back," he finished.

"Carol, this is why you brought me here," Lydon said quietly.

She knew that wasn't one hundred percent true. He was an excuse she had used to go search for the group. If she told herself that she was only doing this for him then it would be easier once she was faced with the aftermath of her emotionally fueled decision to leave. "I needed you to be safe. We're safe right here."

She looked over at Glenn when she heard him make a frustrated sound. "You can't come this far and just give up. Don't forget that not all of us have the option that you have. Do you really think that I'd let Maggie walk away from me right now? I'll never have the chance that you have. If you waste it... If you waste it then you aren't the woman I thought you were."

"We should go," Lydon urged. "This is what we came here to do."

She nodded. When she met Glenn's eyes again she couldn't hold the tears at bay anymore. "Glenn, I'm so sorry."

He pulled her to him again. She couldn't believe that he wasn't blaming her for what had happened. He didn't even seem to blame her for leaving in the first place. One of her biggest fears about returning was not knowing how he would react to seeing her. All those months thinking that he would blame her just as much as she blamed herself for Maggie's death, and it was all for nothing.

They located Luke, speaking to him briefly about coming back later to talk more. He welcomed them back any time and even sent them off with a few goods. Carol could tell that Rick wasn't completely won over by the guy but she trusted him. As much as she trusted anyone now days anyway. They followed Rick towards the woods and then stopped when they were greeted by a willowy red haired girl.

"Where the fuck is Daryl?" She asked hotly, her eyes scanning the area they had came from.

Rick held up a hand. "He went ahead on his own. He'll be back."

Carol raised her brow as the girl glared at Rick. "Why the hell didn't he tell me he was leaving? I could have walked with him," her green eyes landed on Carol. "Who the hell are you?"

Rick sighed heavily but the others couldn't hide their smiles.

"I'm Carol, this is Lydon," she hooked a thumb in the direction of the boy.

The girl's eyes seemed to clear a little as she took her in. "Oh man. Shit just got thick around here, huh? I thought you left Daryl in the dirt?"

Carol opened her mouth but no words came out, then the girl's gaze shifted to Lydon and she smiled.

"Wow. Not a bad package but please tell me you're not one of those pretty things that doesn't have a brain in your head. Guys like that are a complete waste."

Lydon's eyes widened and he glanced at Carol for help but all she could do was stare. Where in the world had they found this little thing? She thought maybe a part of her should be offended somehow but the girl was absolutely fascinating.

"I... er..." Lydon groped for words.

"Spit it out, Mister underage sex symbol. My God you are an idiot, aren't you? Damn it. You had so much potential, too." She shook her head and pushed her way past them. "Well, lets get home. I'm starving."

Lydon and Carol took the car, much to Lydon's delight. They followed the others closely and were silent for a while. She knew he had questions and she was grateful that he had the insight to give her just a few minutes to collect her thoughts.

"So, you left that guy? The angry looking one?" He asked without looking at her.

She couldn't help the small smile. "He isn't very scary once you get to know him. He's just a little rough around the edges is all. It doesn't help that he hates me right now."

"Rick and Glenn, they seem like really nice people. A lot different from the group we were with."

She nodded. "They are. You'll love it here. These people are amazing and loyal. You'll fit right in."

"What's with the girl?" He asked. "Where did she come from?"

Carol laughed. "That is something I definitely plan on finding out. She's really something."

"She's something alright," he flushed.

"She's a very pretty girl," Carol pressed.

He snorted. "Don't start playing match maker. That girl is crazy."

Carol looked out the window, focusing on how good the group would be for the boy, refusing to let her mind drift to the inevitable showdown that she knew was coming.

~H~

He was crashing through the woods when he saw them. A small herd, only about seven walkers in all. They hadn't smelled him yet and they hadn't heard him either. He let his mind focus solely on the walkers that were making their way towards the motel. He wasn't worried about them getting inside. They couldn't. The wall was built using metal from a few box trucks they had found and large blocks that they had hauled from an abandoned construction sight a few miles away.

No. He wasn't following them because they posed a threat. He was following them because he wanted to kill something. He was wound up to tight and he needed to figure out a way to calm himself down before he got back to the others. He knew where the walkers were heading too. They were stumbling right towards the bottoms where the mud would trap them quick. He avoided the area for the most part, sticking to the trees on higher ground. He rarely ever came down this far for that very reason.

Sure enough the walker in the lead fell face first into the dirty water, trying to right itself but sinking further. This was why he avoided this part of the land. You couldn't tell how many walkers were under there and just because they were under water, didn't mean they weren't able to take a chunk out of someone. Bob was proof of that. He was grateful for these marshes though. They served as further protection against the walkers.

A few more went down and then he made his move, coming up to the last one and ramming his knife into it's skull. He shoved it down, drawing the attention of a few others that hadn't followed the lead and gotten stuck in the mud. He waited them out, watching in disgust as they came at him, teeth snapping. They went down easily. To easily. He wanted a challenge. At the moment he would have been satisfied if he had been forced to fight off a rabid bear. He wanted rid of the pain and the anger and the only way he knew to do that was fighting something.

He finally found himself on the beach, not even a quarter of a mile away from the motel. He wasn't sure if they were back yet but he couldn't stay gone any longer. He needed to get himself cleaned up. He was covered in walker ooze and the smell was making his stomach swirl with nausea.

He got a lot of the muck off of himself in one of the tidal pools before he got back home. He wasn't ready to face Rick's questions or lecturing. He just wanted to go to his room and maybe sleep it off. It wasn't even dusk yet but it didn't matter. He had had enough excitement for one day.

He was lucky. There was no one around other than Abe on the wall so he wasn't faced with any questioning looks. Carol was probably still in that town, shacked up with some guy that was at least half her age. More power to her. It wasn't any of his business what she was doing or who she was doing it with. The thought had him growling as he stormed into his room. He slammed the door and was about to fling the curtains closed when he realized with a start that he wasn't alone.

Piper was sitting backwards in a desk chair with her chin resting on the chairs back, curly red hair framing a scowling face. "You ditched me," she said, sounding more offended than the situation called for.

He grunted. "I ain't your keeper. Why the hell are you in my room?"

"I'm like a stray. You found me and now I'm your responsibility. If you didn't want me then you shoulda left me in the woods."

"You followed me here," he growled.

"Like I said, I'm your stray. You didn't try to chase me off. Hell, you even gave me food. You never give a stray any food or they'll never leave. Stop looking at me like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Get the hell out."

"No. If I get the hell out then you're just gonna mope around and feel sorry for yourself because your girlfriend is back and you're all emotional about it. If you want to cry I won't call you a pussy or anything. Everyone cries. Hell, I cried half the night." She shrugged.

He felt a measure of concern that he tried to shove away but he couldn't. "What the hell were you crying about?"

She shrugged. "I'm an orphan trying to make it at the end of days, old man. Why the hell wouldn't I cry?"

He sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the bed, meeting her stare. She still had her chin resting on the chair. "I'm not gonna mope around or feel sorry for myself. I just wanna be alone, alright. Before you came along I was alone a lot and I like it."

She shook her head. "You need to go talk to her and fix your shit. Whatever happened, life is too damn short to miss out on second chances."

He was losing patience. "She was the one that walked away. Not me. And she's with somebody. I saw'em. Now get out."

She finally lifted her head shoving her hair behind her ears. "You mean that boy? Lysol? Bison? I can't remember his name, I just know it was a weird one. Even weirder than mine. Either way, you don't have worry about him. He's all Rain Man or something. I tried to talk to him and he couldn't even speak. I would say that it was my unimaginable beauty that threw him off but I've been looking like shit here lately. I talked to her, though. Kind of. I mostly talk at people, but I could tell that she was upset. You should talk to her, as long as I'm not stuck keeping Rain Man company. He's hot but I like a man with the ability to speak in full sentences."

"I ain't going back to that town so it don't matter. She made her decision and she can live with it." Why the hell was he even talking about all of this to the girl?

"She isn't there. She's here with Rick. She's up there right now. I can go get her if you want."

He clenched his jaw. "She's here? Now?"

Piper nodded and stood up. "Man. She did a real number on you didn't she?" She grew quiet for the first time since he had walked in, looking thoughtful. When she spoke again her voice was low. "Kipling really knew what the fuck he was talking about?"

He scowled. "What?"

"Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he cannot say, for the woman that God gave him isn't his to give away; But when hunter meets with husbands, each confirms the others tale... That the female of the species is more deadly than the male."

Those strange words hung heavy in the air and in his heart and he found himself swallowing hard. "What the hell was that?"

She snorted loudly, rolling her eyes. "Kipling, dummy, like I said. And he knew what was up. She ripped out all your feely bits and did a little dance on them before she left you high and dry. I bet she screwed you stupid before she left too." She shook her head. "The female of our species is a cold bitch old man. But I'm gonna fix you right up. Just leave it to your flighty little foster child."

He felt his face flame at her words. "Piper, would you give me a fuckin' minute here. Go bother Carl or something."

Look, I'll let you have your way for a while, alright? Sit around and stew in your misery or whatever. But you're gonna have to deal with it eventually."

He didn't say a word. He waited until he knew she had left the room and leaned forward, head in his hands as he tried to will away a headache starting behind his eyes. If he tried to say that there wasn't a part of him that wasn't elated to see Carol, he would be lying. But that part of him was buried under a lot of other things. Pain. Mistrust. Anger. But Piper was right. He couldn't stew over this for long. He couldn't hide away in his room and avoid her and, unlike her, he wasn't going to run away from everyone that cared about him. He had to face her.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello! So Daryl is super hurt and super pissed so you know there is going to be some lashing out. This was a rough one. Just keep in mind that I don't plan on drawing this out for much longer. **

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

The loud knock on the door had Carol jumping. Her and Rick were sitting in his living room, mugs of instant coffee steaming on the table. Carl had been more then happy to show the other boy around and the two of them had left to find Lydon a room. She would look for her own soon but she wanted this time with Rick. She was surprised at the loud interruption. Rick frowned and got up to answer the knock.

To Carol's surprise it was the red head, Piper, that Rick had been telling her about. Piper walked right on in before Rick could even open his mouth to greet her.

"How's it going soul shredder?" She asked Carol, hands on her hips.

Carol felt her brows pull together in a frown. "Excuse me?"

Piper's lips pressed into a thin line. "You feel like talking?" She shook her head, "I totally worded that wrong. Do you feel like listening? Because I feel like talking."

Carol was about to tell her that that was fine but she didn't have a chance to. The girl sat down, grabbed Rick's mug and took a drink.

"Daryl wants to talk to you," She said quickly. "He doesn't know it yet but he totally does. The only thing is, you ripped his heart out and then you took a big bite out of it and then after you chewed on it till the taste wore off you spit it back out at him, crushed the unchewed part in your fist and then you stomped it under those awesomely sexy boots of yours."

Carol felt the blood drain from her face at the girls blunt words.

"Don't act like you didn't know that that was what you did to him. We both know that's a lie. We also know he's a stubborn asshole that won't ever tell you that. He'll make it easier for you to pretend you didn't hurt him but I'm not going to let you off so easy."

"Piper," Rick said sharply, taking a step closer.

Carol held up her hand, stopping him. "She's right."

Rick frowned but Piper smiled, winking at her like she already knew that Carol would have that reaction.

She stood up, her eyes staying on the girl. "What room is he in?"

"Carol, you can wait. Maybe he just needs time to-"

Piper cut him off. "Time to what? Time to think about it? He's had a while. Carl told me that it's been six months. He's kind of shocked right now because I don't think he ever thought he would see her again. Trust me, you don't want him thinking to hard about this because if he does he may never trust her. If she marches down there right now, to room number one, and grovels, begs, whatever, then maybe he'll _hear_ her."

Rick rolled his eyes. "That isn't how things like this work, Piper."

"Oh Jesus Christ. Please just blow it out your ass, Rick. I also know that you went after her yourself you sick bastard," Piper marched past him before he could recover, shutting the door and then opening it again long enough for her to stick her middle finger up at Rick through the crack.

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly. "She's a bit of a hand full."

"Did Merle Dixon have a daughter that none of us knew about?" Carol asked, unable to mask the shock in her voice.

"I've wondered the same thing. Trust me," he said, finally looking up. "You don't have to do this right now. She's just a kid."

Carol stopped with her hand on the door knob. "She is, but she's a kid that has an uncanny ability to tell it like it is when she knows she's right. He may have just found her but already, I think she has things pretty much figured out."

He didn't look like he was willing to admit that, even though she could tell that he knew that it was true. "Well, I guess I'll wish you luck then."

She smiled, taking a deep breath before pulling the door open. "Thanks Rick. I have a feeling I'm really going to need it."

"Yeah," he said in a low worried voice, "Me too."

She hurried down the stairs before she could get stopped by anyone else. Tyreese and the others had been just as thrilled to see her as Glenn and Rick had been. Even Abe had offered her a friendly pat on the shoulder on his way by. She had meant to ask Rick what the hell happened to the man's face but Piper had shown up. She wasn't eager to hear what Daryl had to say to her but she was ready to get it over with. This was the part that she was dreading the most and the faster it ended the faster she could stop stressing over it.

She stopped outside the door to his room and held up her fist twice, ready to knock, but dropped her hand both times, trying to think of anything at all to say to him. Finally, after trying unsuccessfully to calm her pounding heart, she knocked lightly on the door.

She waited only a few seconds before he pulled the door open. Seeing him this close nearly took her breath away. There was nothing friendly about the set of his lips or the way his eyes narrowed angrily as soon as they landed on hers but she still stared, drinking him in.

"You need to go. Now," he said in a low voice that didn't sound anything like his own.

She was about to take a step back and do exactly what he said to do but she couldn't. Piper was right. If there was ever a time to get through to him, it was right now. "No. We have to talk about this."

"I ain't got too much to say, other than what I already said. You need to go. Go see if Rick still wants you. You can fuck him over."

She swallowed down the pain those words caused her because she knew that his own pain was why he was lashing out. She had hurt him, terribly, and now he was going to hurt her back. She took in a shaky breath. "I'll leave you alone as soon as you listen to me."

She didn't think it was possible for him to look colder than he did right now but amazingly, his face became even more enraged. "I don't owe you shit. You made the call, lady. You left without a goddamn word. Now you think you have the right to come here and mess my life up even more than you already have?"

"I came back to the house-"

"You shouldn't have left the house to begin with. You had it planned, Carol!" That anger slipped just enough for her to hear the hurt in his voice.

Most of his body was blocking the doorway, his hand gripping the frame hard. She decided to take a chance and hurriedly slipped under that arm and walked into the room. She wrapped her arms around herself before turning to face his wrath. When she did he chose that moment to slam the door shut so hard that it rattled the windows. He turned, his face a mask of rage.

"I shouldn't have left. I know that, okay? I do. It was the worst mistake of my life," she said hurriedly, backing away as he stalked towards her.

"I don't care," he said, shaking his head and stopping a few feet away from her. "I did. I cared a lot. But that was then. Now, now I know better. I know you."

"You knew me before," she whispered, unable to put anymore volume into her words.

"Yeah. That's what I told myself. Just get the hell out of my room, alright. I don't need you here. I sure as hell don't want you here."

The words felt like a physical blow. This was going horribly wrong. "You've left too. You left with Merle and you left with Michonne to look for Blake-" She closed her mouth when she saw fury cause his jaw to clench. He took another intimidating step towards her. She took a step back, hitting the counter. There was nowhere to go... and he was still coming. He didn't stop until their foreheads were touching but there was nothing intimate about the gesture. She turned her face away from him as she gripped the counter.

"Yeah," he growled, his voice filled with disgust. "But I had the decency not to fuck you first."

She swallowed hard, closing her eyes to try to will the tears away. It didn't work. They slipped down her face, leaving a warm trail. He didn't seem to care and she wasn't really surprised.

"How many times did Ed beat the hell out of you?" He asked, his breath cooling the tears on her face, his words like a whip actually causing her to flinch.

She didn't open her eyes. She didn't want to look at him. Not like this. "I don't know," she breathed.

"But you stayed. He treated you like shit and you stayed until that bastard was dead. You gave me two fuckin' days before you took off on me. Two days. Maybe if I'd slapped you around a little you would've stuck around. Too bad I ain't your type. It coulda saved me a lot of bullshit."

"I didn't leave because of you. I left because of me. I was still a mess over what happened before and then Maggie..." She opened her eyes and he stepped away.

**~H~**

Daryl couldn't keep his hands from shaking. He had to take a step away from her because being so close wasn't helping anything. He had wanted to avoid this. He knew what would happen if he talked to her. He didn't regret his words. Those words probably didn't have a fraction of the painful effect that her leaving had had on him. She was looking down and to the side. He could tell that she was trying to compose herself. And that damnable side of him had the most overwhelming urge to reach out to her that it infuriated him even further.

"Ain't nothin' else to say, Carol," he said. This time he didn't sound angry but even he could hear the finality in the words.

She didn't look up but she nodded. She swiped at her cheeks as she hurried past him and he had to clench his fists to keep from touching her. She didn't deserve his comfort and she didn't deserve his forgiveness. He couldn't trust her again. He wasn't going to let himself get hurt like that again. All his life people did exactly what she did. His mom left him. His piece of shit father left him. Merle left him. He was disposable to people until he had found this group and realized that he really was worth a damn. He really was someone that deserved something good. That feeling had been foreign and amazing.

And unfortunately, fleeting. The truth was, when she had left that night, she had taken all of those feelings with her, leaving him the angry empty shell that he had been his whole life. And he couldn't forgive someone for doing that.

He didn't feel that anger anymore and he mourned the loss of it. The anger, he could deal with. This other thing, this miserable empty feeling, was a different story. Especially now. Now she was a stones throw away. Now, if he wanted, he could forget everything and pull her back in.

He didn't look up when he heard the door open. He just stood there, leaning against the counter, feeling completely lost in his misery. He heard a sigh and then Piper sidled up next to him, close but not close enough to touch him.

"How'd it go?" She asked, glancing up at him from under her lashes.

"Just like I knew it would. Bad," he said as he moved to the bed, sitting down.

"It'll get better but you can't hide from it. We've all lost something here but you got yours back. You can act like you don't love her but that's a damn lie and you know it. I'm not gonna let you fuck this up."

He snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, you keep tellin' yourself that." he replied and even he could hear the defeat in his voice. He let his back hit the mattress and closed his eyes. He didn't want to discuss it with her. He didn't even want to think about it anymore. All he wanted to do was sleep. Maybe tomorrow he would wake up and the last six months would have been just a really shitty nightmare. It wasn't the first time he had wished this though. He had a feeling that it wouldn't be the last. He didn't hear her leave but when he looked up, Piper was gone. The kid had a good heart but he really just wanted her to let this go.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

She wasn't sure what to do now. The one thing she knew for sure was that she wasn't going anywhere. If she stayed through this, if she stood her ground in the face of his anger, eventually he would know that she was staying no matter what. She didn't know why she was so upset. She had known this was going to happen and those harsh words he had thrown at her was probably just the beginning of her penance. She knew that she would have to face his wrath but she hadn't expected it to feel like this. She was hell bent on staying but she had little hope of them following through with the tentative relationship that they had started over half a year ago. They had never had a chance to evaluate the emotional aspect of that relationship because their brief time together had been so physical.

It wasn't his anger that had her lungs closing up and her chest aching. It was the hurt that fueled that anger. She saw it. It was like a physical thing wrapped around him and she was the cause of it. It made her sick to her stomach. And the awful tears wouldn't stop flowing. For him to say the things he had said to her only showed her how much pain she had caused him. Rick had told her that almost everyone but Daryl had taken rooms close to the apartment that he shared with Carl and Judith. Daryl was the one that had chosen one furthest away so she prayed silently that the door to the room next to his was an empty one. When her eyes adjusted to the darkness she saw that it was, indeed, empty.

She'd had a lot of time to think during those long months on the road and she realized that she hadn't taken advantage of that at all. She hadn't done a lot of thinking. If she had then she would have gotten here much sooner than this. Being responsible for another child was the thing that had pushed her but if she had let herself feel the loss of Daryl out there on the road she would have crawled here if she had to. Would he have forgiven her if she had came sooner? She wasn't sure.

**~H~**

Daryl waited a long time before he finally opened the door and was greeted by the flicker of firelight out in the middle of the yard. It was dark and overcast and growing colder, drawing him closer to the flame like a moth. From his room he couldn't do a head count but there were several people gathered there around the fire. He didn't let his eyes drift to take in the faces before he sat down.

"Here," Piper muttered, suddenly beside him.

He glanced down long enough to take the bowl from her, not even looking at the food before he dug in. Once he started chewing he paused and looked down. Even in this state he couldn't deny the fact that whatever the hell he was eating tasted like food from the God's. The sweetness nearly caused his jaws to lock up on him. He wasn't used to the taste but one thing that few people other than Merle knew about him was, before the world ended, he'd had an insatiable sweet tooth. "What the hell is this?" he asked, using his fingers to take another bite.

"Ol Luke, the goody good bastard, loaded Dick Grimes up with some stuff before he left. You must have tucked tail and ran by then though. Carol threw it together. It's the shit, right?" She asked, her own mouth full of the food. "It's peach something. You look like you're having a taste bud orgasm. Maybe that'll loosen you up."

He choked on the last bite and gave her a stern look. "Jesus, watch your damn mouth." He finally glanced around the fire. Carol was sitting between Rick and Lydon, not seeming to be paying any attention to anything but the fire. It reflected in her large eyes and he had to look away. Glenn was there too, talking to Tara and Rosita, their voices low.

"She's nice," Piper said, keeping her voice uncharacteristically low. "Even to me. Whatever you said to her earlier fucked her all up too. I can tell."

He cleared his throat. "Didn't say a damn thing that wasn't the truth. Why don't you mind your own damn business?" He asked, his voice dark.

"Because you're a big dumb ass," she answered with a shrug. "How long were you two together before she bailed?"

He glanced around again, making sure no one was paying any attention to them. Rick and Carol were talking, heads close together but her eyes were still on the flames, like Daryl wasn't there at all. He shook his head, looking back down at her. It was hard to believe that someone so damn small could have such a big personality, and be such a huge pain in his ass. He didn't answer her question. He was finished discussing his failed attempt at romance.

"Do you want her to leave?"

He looked over at her, his eyes narrowed. "If I did then I'd make her take you with her."

She grinned. "No you wouldn't. There is totally some kind of weird paternal instinct in that terribly guarded heart of yours, old man. I'm already in. You wouldn't ship me off to face this cruel world all on my own."

He growled under his breath, shaking his head. "Maybe not but I wouldn't mind trading you for a quieter version."

"So, her husband used to beat her ass, huh?" Piper asked suddenly, still keeping her voice low enough so only he could hear it.

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, face flaming because now he knew that the little shit had stood outside the door and listened to everything. "Drop it," he said, unable to keep the menace from his voice.

"Have you ever really sat down and thought about why she would leave? You ever think that maybe she didn't feel like she deserved you?"

He snorted. "You don't know what you're talkin' about. I said drop it."

"I'm horrible at taking orders. You don't want to think about that, do you? You're just as much of a pussy as she is. Both of you running the other way. You got lucky back before she left. You both managed to pull your heads out of your asses on the same day. Then it all went to shit again. I'm getting warm, huh? I can tell because you look like you want to strangle me and if I wasn't hitting the nail right on the head then you wouldn't look like that."

"Piper!" He barked, causing everyone around them to jump and then stare at them. "Shut the fuck up!" He said, lowering his voice.

She met his angry gaze. "No." She stood up, dusting off the seat of her pants. "Hey," she said, getting the attention of everyone. "Daryl and Carol need a minute. How bout we all head on over to Dick's to hang out."

"It's Rick, Piper," Rick said, giving the girl a knowing look.

Piper shrugged. "I call'em like I see'em." At that she turned and started walking towards the apartment.

He was shocked to see the rest of them all get up as well, actually listening to the little shit. He met Rick's eyes, shaking his head slightly. Rick gave him a sympathetic smile and shrugged. When he looked across the fire Carol was sitting there, her knees pulled up to her chest. The boy was with her, looking at her worriedly before his eyes slid over to meet Daryl's. The look wasn't a friendly one. He leaned in and said something but Daryl couldn't hear him. She turned and smiled slightly, muttering something and then the kid got up and walked away.

She didn't meet his gaze. It was like he still wasn't there at all and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. It was what he wanted, right? He wasn't sure what to do now, which confused him further. He should have gotten up and walked back to his room, or relieved someone from watch, but he didn't. He sat there and he waited. She was the one that finally made a move.

She stood up quickly. "Don't be to hard on her. She really does mean well," she said quietly, still not looking at him, and then hurried around the fire, walking swiftly towards his room. He frowned and watched her but it wasn't his door she disappeared behind. It was the one next to his. He hadn't realized that she had moved into that one. He assumed she would choose one closer to the others. Or at least one as far away from him as she could get.

She was right. The kid meant well but this was to much. Everything was getting more and more messed up the more the kid tried to help. He replayed Carol's words from earlier over and over in his mind. At this point it didn't really matter how they made him feel. She had given him an explanation. She had given him excuses. The one thing that she hadn't said was that she was sorry for what she did. Would it have mattered at all? He doubted it. She had said that leaving had been a mistake but if that had been true then why had it taken her so damn long to get here?

He stood up and stretched, his eyes involuntarily moving to the window of her room. There was a soft light behind the curtains. Before he realized what he was doing he had taken several steps towards the room. He stopped in his tracks. He shook his head and quickly veered off towards the wall. He wasn't doing that. Jesus! It hadn't even been twenty four hours and he was subconsciously walking right up to her door.

He hurried up the ladder and walked across the roof until he found a good spot to sit down and finally take his turn on watch. Michonne waved and then climbed down from the other roof, probably thankful he was finally pulling his weight around here. Sometimes he left after nightfall and stayed away until morning. That way he could sleep most of the day, take an early watch and then leave again. He glanced down across the yard and was surprised to see that Carol had thrown the curtain open and was now standing in the window, her arms wrapped around herself as she gazed out at the night. He pulled his legs up, resting his chin on his knees. He didn't feel guilty for watching her from here. Not like when he watched her another time. This time was different though. The longing was different, more bitter than sweet.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty Nine**

Three weeks after Carol came back a rare winter storm blew down from the north. She was thankful they had decent shelter but it would have been much better if they had also had heat in the rooms. They had managed to find a wood burning stove that they rigged up in the apartment above the office since they couldn't afford for Judith to get sick. Keeping her from touching it was another matter, but most of the group slept there. Carol wasn't one of them. As pathetic as it seemed, she wanted to stay as close to Daryl as she could, even if it meant only sleeping in the room next to his. She would take what she could get.

They hadn't spoken. It was torture because there was so much she wanted to say to him but was too afraid. She didn't want to push him and she wouldn't. All she could do was prove to him that she wasn't going anywhere, even if he was going to pretend that she wasn't there. So far he didn't seem very impressed and she didn't blame him.

"We need to do something for Christmas."

Carol jumped at the unexpected voice, spinning around. Piper was shutting the door against the snow, shaking the white flakes from the hair that she never seemed to be able to tame. She wasn't surprised to see her. Piper seemed to think it was okay to barge into what ever room she wanted, whenever she felt the need. "Christmas?" Carol said the word like she had never heard it before. Who had time to think about things like that?

"Yeah. Christmas. We should do something," Piper said as she sat down on the foot of Carol's bed and looked at her expectantly.

"We've never done anything for the Holidays before. We don't even know when Christmas is," Carol said, leaning against the small sink and cupping the coffee mug tightly to warm her hands.

"It's the day after tomorrow. It also happens to be my Birthday so trust me, I keep track," she said wistfully.

Carol felt a pang of sadness for the girl. Sometimes she seemed much older than she looked and other times she seemed like a little girl that craved approval. "I'm in," she said with a smile, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. You're the grown one so I figured you would be able to figure it all out and then I would take the credit for thinking of it in the first place."

Carol raised a brow. "Well... I can't think of anything we have that we can use as gifts for everyone."

Piper's gaze turned inward for a few moments and then she looked up, smiling slyly. Carol instantly didn't trust it. "Don't worry about that part. I'll figure something out. Rick was talking about taking a trip to the settlement today. Daryl's got a truck load of kills and Rick thinks that we can get some supplies for trade. That and you lucky assholes can get hot showers there. I'll have to take a whore bath at Rick's."

Carol laughed. "That's what you get for stealing, and for doing drugs."

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Yeah, I've heard this a million times. So, are you going with the others?"

Carol narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Because Daryl is going and maybe if you go too you can save the towns water supply and just shower together. You know, get the sex out of the way and then you two can finally talk it out. You've been back for almost a month and the two of you haven't even tried to work this out."

Carol actually didn't mind the blush she felt coloring her cheeks but only because she welcomed the warmth. "You're ridiculous. And you really need to get the idea out of that head of yours sweetheart. It isn't going to happen. I think he'll end up speaking to me at some point but I messed up and there isn't a chance he's going to let me back in."

"You're both miserable and stupid. This sucks," she grumbled, standing up and heading towards the door. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Piper," Carol said, shutting the door quickly behind her.

~H~

He dressed quickly, hissing as the cold air hit his bare skin. He had taken to sleeping in those stupid ball shorts that Carol had given him forever ago, not that he'd ever tell anyone. They had gotten a couple of sub zero sleeping bags and he had snagged them both, knowing he wouldn't be piling up with the others at Rick's place. He'd rather freeze than have to listen to Abe and Michonne snore all night. He told himself that that was the only reason but he was lying. Another reason was, he knew Carol wouldn't go to Rick's either and he wouldn't have been able to sleep knowing that she was alone in a room so far away, closest to the wall. If bad people showed up he wasn't risking being so far away. He still couldn't stand her for what she had done and he couldn't say anything to her but he liked that she was so close. She was right on the other side of the wall. She was still there and that surprised the hell out of him. He had expected her to move on after she realized that things wouldn't be going back to how they had been. For weeks he had dreaded the day that he went to Rick's and she wasn't there whipping up something for breakfast. But it didn't happen. She stayed, no matter how much he ignored her.

He zipped up the leather coat and braced himself for the cold that he knew was going to greet him. He could hear the wind through the door. Just because he wouldn't sleep at Rick's didn't mean he wouldn't go there in the mornings to enjoy the heat. He opened the door and hurried out, shutting it quickly. His room wasn't warm by any means but it was a lot better than the bitter cold that stung his cheeks out here.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned but stumbled to a stop when Carol came out her door. She didn't look his way so she was unaware that he was there. He was willing to wait for her to go ahead and go, since the cold was easier to deal with than talking to her. She turned, took two hurried steps and then her feet flew out from under her and she fell flat on her ass.

"You have got to be kidding me!" She growled, still unaware of his presence as she sat there for a few seconds.

She landed in about six inches of snow so he knew she wasn't hurt, which was why he couldn't hold back the laugh that bubbled up. He tried hard to stifle it but it did him no good. The more he thought about it, the louder he laughed. She looked over her shoulder sharply, her face red either from the embarrassment of someone seeing her take the spill or from the cold. He knew her well enough to know that it was probably a mixture of both.

She narrowed her eyes and pulled herself up from the sidewalk without a word. He couldn't just stand there and wait for her to go on ahead of him. Not now that she knew he was there, so he followed her, keeping a few feet back. She was walking faster than she needed to and he knew it was because she wanted to get away from him. That was when her foot hit another ice patch and she almost went down again.

Only, she didn't. He caught her quickly around the waist. "You'll get there faster if you don't break your neck on the way," he said, his voice gruff as the feel of her body against his made his head swim a little.

She pulled away slowly. "Thanks," she muttered right before she started walking again, much slower this time.

He was surprised that he felt the need to say more to her. It had been nearly a month since they had spoken, which caused more than a little awkwardness since their group wasn't a large one and they all lived here. He had expected her to leave again. That was what she did when things got tough. But she hadn't. She had persevered through his silence with grace. She avoided him as much as he avoided her but she still slept in the room next to his and he still watched her closely when he knew no one was looking. Well, almost no one. Piper had called him out on it a few times.

"Are you going today?" He asked, right before they reached the stairs leading up to the apartment. Making small talk with her wasn't really hurting anything. He wasn't a complete piece of shit.

She stopped with one gloved hand on the rail. When she looked up he almost had to look away. Her eyes were large as they studied him and she couldn't hide the hope that filled them. It stung. It stung a lot, but he kept his eyes on hers. "I was thinking about it. You?" She asked hesitantly.

He nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I did all the work when it comes to those kills. Might as well get a hot shower out of it."

She smiled and he felt his lips twitch. He looked down at the metal steps and frowned. The snow was packed down hard from all the feet that had tracked up and down the stairs. He knew it was going to be slick. Hopefully neither of them slipped and fell down the damn things. Maybe they should think about getting some salt.

He heard her sigh and then she turned and started up. On the third step she slipped a little and gripped the banister to keep from going all the way down. "This is awful," she mumbled.

He was about to say something when he lost his footing. He grabbed the other banister. "This is bullshit is what it is. Looks like somebody poured water all over the damn snow."

Without warning he felt her hand in his. He looked up sharply but she wasn't looking at him. Her lips were set in a determined line. "Just until we make it to the top. I don't want you falling down the stairs."

"If you got a hold of me and I fall, you ain't gonna hold me up. Your skinny ass is gonna fall too," he said.

She nodded and was about to let go but he tightened his hand around hers and started moving. This was why he was avoiding her. If he let her in just a little he wouldn't be able to keep himself from pulling her all the way in. He should have just let her fall on her ass again. He could have already been in the apartment, warming himself up before they loaded up and shipped out. But he hadn't, and now he was hyper aware of how close she was.

He dropped her hand as soon as they reached the top and hurried around her, opening the door without knocking. There were people everywhere, just like there was every morning. He was actually relieved to see them this time. Piper grinned up at him from the small table she was sitting at with Carl and Lydon.

"Morning," she said sweetly. Her eyes moved to the door and he could have sworn that she looked smug.

"Mornin'," he muttered, taking the bowl Sasha handed him and finding a spot against the wall away from everyone else so he could eat in relative peace. He was having a harder time keeping his eyes on his bowl this morning. He kept glancing up and more than a few times Carol seemed to look up at the same time. Their eyes would meet and then he would look away quickly.

He was in trouble.


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry for the delay! Fanfiction has been down for most of us. Hope you enjoy this one. It was fun to write. Thanks for reading! **

**Chapter Thirty**

Jail. She was standing in an open shower stall in a jail. And she didn't even care. The water was hot, the steam from the showers that the other women were using smelled incredible and for the first time in days she felt like she was thawing out. The moans and groans rising up from the steam made it sound like a bad porn movie. She poured nearly half a bottle of vanilla and lavender scented soap onto the lufa and soaped herself down again. She was scrubbed raw, shaved and conditioned and wasn't even close to being finished. She never wanted to leave. For the first time in a long time, she felt like an actual woman. A very clean smooth woman.

"I'm gonna confess to multiple murders and demand Luke and his wife lock me up here and throw away the key. The rest of you can write me," Tara called from a few stalls away, causing everyone to laugh.

She felt a little guilty leaving the others behind. Piper, Lydon, Carl and Tyreese were back at the motel, but knowing they were warm and fed made her feel better. She had just rinsed off when someone yelled that they were down to five minutes. She hated getting out but was eager to get into some clean clothes. It didn't take long before they were all ready to go. She would miss the heat and the water and the general good mood of all the people they met. It really was something to see after everything they had witnessed.

Glenn was holding the door to the truck open when she came around the corner after they had said their goodbyes to Luke and his family. When Gabriel approached the truck Glenn shook his head and pointed to the SUV behind it. Carol was about to walk past herself when Glenn grabbed her arm and ushered her into the back seat, getting in after her quickly. She found herself getting shoved over as Rosita climbed in after Glenn. The back seat was large but not quite large enough for four people and Glenn was scooting so fast that she was barely able to get over fast enough. She looked over just in time to see Daryl's wide eyes, right before she was shoved almost onto his lap. He grunted as she tried to adjust herself and move off of him as best she could.

"There, now we have plenty of body heat," Glenn flashed her a smug smile and she glared.

She shifted again, still trying to move away from Daryl. She knew he didn't want this and she was terrified that he would think this was some sort of ploy to seduce him or something. She didn't want him to think that. She wanted him to understand that she knew how he felt about her and respected it. She loved Glenn but she was going to flog him when this was over. She actually felt like crying. Being this close to him was hard on her since she knew for a fact he wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

~H~

At first he didn't know what the fuck was going on. One minute Glenn was ordering him into the back of the truck and the next there was someone shoved almost on top of him. He knew they had brought enough vehicles to comfortably seat everyone so he wasn't sure why the hell there was someone on his lap. Then he realized who that someone was and he froze up, his whole body tensing at her proximity. She was trying to move off of him. She was sitting in an awkward position and trying to scamper away like he'd chew her throat out if she didn't get away from him.

He was about to do a little shifting of his own and help her get off of him when he caught her warm scent. It was familiar and intoxicating, made more potent by hints of something floral and sweet. He had to swallow, the subtle smell of her actually causing him to salivate. Against his better judgment his hands went to her hips and he pulled her further onto his lap, moving his legs wider so she wouldn't have to sit up so much. His heart slammed against his chest hard and fast and he clenched his teeth, knowing she could feel the frantic pace against her back. She was tense and unmoving, taken by surprise by this spur of the moment move. She wasn't the only one. He knew he would pay for this later. He knew how much he already struggled to stay away from her.

Finally the truck started moving and she slowly relaxed against him. He let his head fall back against the seat and moved his eyes over to make sure Glenn was minding his own damn business. His head was turned, talking to Rosita. He realized then that his hands were still on her hips. He knew that the skin under those jeans felt like silk under his touch. His mind knew that he was still furious over what she had done to him. He knew that he should block any thoughts of being with her from his mind and just get through the ride back to the motel. But that was easier said than done. He had already had her. He knew what it felt like to...

Son of a bitch.

He heard her breath hitch and knew that she knew what he was thinking about. She had to have felt it because it wasn't trying to keep itself hidden at all.

Fuck. This was not suppose to happen. It was over. He'd given it his all and it hadn't been enough.

His hands moved without him telling them to but he stopped. He was aching to feel the heat of her, he was having a seriously hard time controlling his breathing. It was easy to ignore her physically when she kept her distance. It was another story now that she was right there.

Suddenly, the person in the passenger seat turned, looking right at him. It was Eugene. He hadn't even noticed the man before. But of course he wouldn't have. Not with Carol on his lap.

Eugene looked at Daryl and then his eyes slid over to Carol. With the most serious expression imaginable he looked at Daryl again. "I think it would probably be a good idea for the two of you to have intercourse when we get back. There is a lot of tension in here." He turned, looking out the window. "As a matter of fact, that would probably be very interesting to watch. Like a wild animal mauling a doe. With his sex organ."

For a second the cab of the truck was silent. As in, no one dared to even breath. And then Glenn's howling laughter pierced through the silence and everyone, other than Eugene and Carol, and Daryl himself did as well. Daryl thought about hitting the damn idiot but Carol shifted on his lap, distracting him. There wasn't anything he could even say to that. At least Eugene talking about his sex organ was like a big fat bucket of cold water dumped on to his crotch.

It didn't make the ride any more bearable though. It wasn't like he wasn't still physically reeling at her proximity but he was hyper aware of the others in the truck. He wanted to hurry up and get back to his room, or to the woods, or even the roof. He needed space to clear his head. He would have been more pissed off at Eugene but the truth was, the man pulled him right back into his head. What the hell had be been thinking?

No one said anything else and when the truck finally came to a stop Carol hurriedly opened the door and slid off his lap. He had to repress a groan. The first thing he noticed when he got out was that the cold was biting into his face. He was used to it being cold since this front had lasted for days but as the sun set, the air was becoming unbearably frigid.

As usual the rest of them headed towards the apartment. Considering how cold it was, he expected Carol to join the others this time. But she didn't. She hurried over to her own room, disappearing through the door without a backward glance.

His eyes lingered longingly on the closed door to her room before finally going to his own. The room wasn't much warmer than outside. He had two of the sleeping bags that Luke had given them and he wondered if he should take her one of them. He wasn't sure what she was using over there to keep warm and he'd be a real dick to keep both sleeping bags over here when he only really needed one.

That was the excuse he was telling himself anyway. If he was being honest with himself he would say that he couldn't do this anymore. He had pushed her. He had pushed her hard and she had every reason in the world to leave. He had told her that he didn't want her and still she was here. She was right in the next room and she was likely freezing to death.

He rolled up the other sleeping bag and secured it tightly. He picked it up and then headed towards the door, unsure if he was doing the right thing but unable to deny the fact that he needed to at least talk to her. This time he wasn't angry. He'd always be hurt by what she did but he wasn't still at that point that he felt he needed to lash out. He had done that already and then he had ignored her. He ignored her and was able to pretend that what he said was true. That he didn't want her anymore. When in all actuality, she was the only thing he did want.

He opened the door and took in a sharp breath of the freezing air. They could talk this time and he would listen to what she had to say without going out of his way to hurt her.


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello guys. Figured I would update while I could since the rain is messing with my connection. Just a heads up in case it wasn't caught in the last chapter, Carol has been back with the group for almost a month. I should have made it more clear but I get ahead of myself. Sorry if anyone was confused or anything! I hope you enjoy the chapter and, as always, thanks for reading! **

**Chapter Thirty One**

She absolutely hated herself for crying. It was stupid to cry. She was tired of crying but she couldn't help it. This morning when he had actually spoken to her, she could barely contain how happy it had made her. She was sure that things would never get to where they had been before she left but he had spoken actual words to her for the first time since he had made her leave his room. For the first time in three weeks he had looked at her without disgust. And then she had been on top of him in that damn truck and things had nearly gotten out of hand. She could feel his heart thundering against her back. She could almost hear the inner battle in his mind as he struggled to come to terms with his body's reaction to her.

It wasn't so much the physical that she craved, though she would be a liar if she denied that it was there. It was that she just wanted to be close to him again. She wanted to be able to laugh with him and meet his eyes without feeling sick with guilt. She couldn't help but feel like today had been some terrible fluke. Life was dangling the thing she wanted most right in front of her and then it would be snatched out of reach again. Her heart had taken many blows throughout her life but she couldn't handle thinking that things could get better with him, just to find out later that she was fooling herself. She took in a shuddering breath and pushed the heavy blankets aside, more than ready to crawl under them and lose herself in sleep. She wiped the tears from her face and willed the ones that she had yet to shed away.

She was about to blow out the candles and get to bed early when suddenly there was a knock at her door. She frowned, wiped under her eyes one last time and hurried to let in whoever was stupid enough to be standing out there in this cold. She pulled the door open without looking out the peephole. She felt her eyes grow wide when she saw Daryl standing there. He shoved a rolled up sleeping bag at her.

"Here," he said quickly. When he looked up, meeting her eyes he seemed the flinch.

She knew then that he must have been able to see the anguish on her face. "Thank you," she said, hating the tremble in her voice more than she hated the damn tears. She wasn't weak. Not anymore.

He nodded but he didn't make a move to go back to his room. He also didn't say anything else and the colder air was seeping in around him. All she had on was a pair of fluffy pajamas and a few shirts under her hooded sweatshirt.

Surely he wasn't waiting for her to invite him in, and if he was was it only because of what happened in the truck? He wasn't the type of man to sleep with a woman just to sleep with her. She remembered something as soon as that thought crossed her mind.

_"But I had the decency not to fuck you first." _His angry voice filled her mind and she had to forcibly will it away. "Do you want to come in for a minute?" She asked, preparing herself for the verbal blow to come.

He didn't say anything but he stepped into the room and she shut the door behind him. When she turned around to face him the candle light gave him a better view of her face. She wasn't looking at him so when she felt his thumb graze her cheekbone she flinched. He dropped his hand and finally she looked up. He studied her for a few long silent moments before his thumb went to his mouth, chewing the nail there. His eyes scanned the room.

She had the urge to pull his thumb away from his mouth but she didn't dare touch him. She wasn't sure where his head was at the moment. She didn't have the slightest idea what he wanted. She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry for hurting him and that she understood why he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She wanted to... but she was afraid to say anything at all. She didn't want to make him mad. Emotionally, she wasn't prepared for his anger. She hadn't had time to prepare herself for that kind of pain.

"Why do you stay here? It's freezin'." He asked.

She cleared her throat, a ready lie on her lips. But the lie wasn't what came out of her mouth. What was the point? "I didn't want to be that far away. Just in case..."

He met her eyes. "In case what?" He asked, his voice guarded.

"In case you decided you didn't hate me anymore. In case you needed something. I don't know."

"I don't hate you," he said after a while. "I hated what you did."

"So did I," she said, worried that she was pushing him again. "I still do. Every single day."

"Yeah, me too. Believe me," he sighed and then sat down on the bed. He scrubbed his face with his hands. "I don't know what the hell I'm doin' here." He stood up. "I should probably just go. I'll talk to you-"

"Don't!" She said, her voice desperate and trembling. She placed her hand on his chest to stop him without thinking. His heart jumped under her palm but she didn't move it.

He didn't move. He didn't make a move to touch her but he didn't make a move to pull away either. When she looked up there was a storm of emotion in his eyes. He didn't trust her. That was clear. He wanted to. That was also very clear. "What do you want?" He asked. For the first time, the anguish in his voice matched the anguish in hers.

"I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Even if you meet someone that doesn't make the same mistakes I did. If you get married and have a family of your own. I'm not going anywhere again. I can't. And you have to know how sorry I am. And that's all I want."

"That's all you want?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

She shook her head. She wanted him to trust her but she would never expect him to. She wanted to go back and never make the mistakes that she made. It was amazing how one stupid decision could cause so much hurt.

~H~

He didn't know why he was still standing there. Maybe it was the tears. Apparently he had become a total sucker for them and they seemed to be plenty. She deserved everything she was feeling right now but that didn't mean he wanted her to feel it. When she had first shown up his goal had been to hurt her and he had succeeded at that. And still she was here.

He took a step towards her, moving further into her space and she didn't back away like she had that first day they had talked.

"I miss you," she whispered and then waited, like she thought he was going to lash out at the words. She bit her lip, wide eyes searching.

He nodded because he didn't know what he should say. Another half step and there was no more space between them at all. He could feel the warmth coming off of her but she was trembling slightly, either from the cold or from fear. "I stopped missing you," he said, being as honest with her as he could.

She flinched like he'd hit her but he didn't regret the words. It was the truth. She nodded. "I understand."

He shook his head. "That's the thing. You don't understand a damn thing. Did you know I convinced myself you were dead? And that the best thing I could do for myself was just keep movin'. Don't think about it. And then you came back." He made sure he kept any trace of hostility out of his voice. He wanted her to hear him, not to clam up in the face of his anger.

"What can I do to fix this?" She whispered, those fucking tears still flowing. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

He shook his head, bringing his hand up to her face again. This time she didn't flinch away. She stayed very still. "Why'd you come back?" He asked.

She blinked. "Because I love you. I knew it wouldn't matter after all that time but love doesn't just go away."

Those words slammed into him like a physical blow, causing a maelstrom of emotions to hit him, the impact almost jarring. When was the last time he had heard anyone say something like that to him? Was it his mother, in one of her more affectionate drunken stupors? He wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that he suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. Terrified. He swallowed hard.

"And that's all I want. I just want you to know those things. I don't expect anything from you. I don't deserve anything from you. But I'm not going anywhere." She dropped her hand and was about to take a step away but he couldn't let her do that. He had came here to hear her out and he had. Now it was up to him to figure out what he was going to do about the information she had given him.

He did the only thing he could do. He was tired of the ache. He was tired of pretending like she didn't mean everything to him. He was torturing himself just as much as he was torturing her. And against his better judgment, he believed every fucking word she had just said to him. He kissed her. A surprised sound escaped her and she tensed for just a second before her lips softened against his and her arms went around his neck, pulling him closer. He could taste the salt on her lips. He could feel the fear in her as her hands shook against the back of his neck. He understood the feeling because he felt the same way. He was just better at hiding it. Her lips parted, offering more of herself and he took it. He wanted to sink into the moment and forget about all the bullshit. It probably wasn't the healthiest way to deal with the confusion he was feeling but logical thought really wasn't his strong suit when she was so goddamn willing.

Her teeth scraped against his bottom lip, causing him to tighten his hold on her, trying to pull her closer even though she was already flush against him. He wanted to do this. All logic was tossed out the window as he started backing her towards the bed. It would be so easy to do. His body longed to feel hers wrapped around him. To sink into her until every shitty thing about his life ceased to exist. He felt like a junky that hadn't had a fix in so very long.

"Daryl?" She breathed as his lips went to her throat.

"Hmm?" He hummed right before his teeth met her skin.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Her words were followed by a pathetic whimper that had his thoughts spiraling further into dangerous territory. He wasn't thinking about anything but the release of all the tension he had been bottling up. Yesterday didn't matter. Tomorrow didn't matter. Right now mattered. She loved him. Regardless of what she put him through he loved her. There was no reason not to do this.

He shrugged the coat off and caught her lips again in a quick heated kiss before whipping the hoodie over her head. He wasn't surprised to find that she was wearing a t-shirt underneath. Under the t-shirt he found a thermal. "Goddamn it," he growled.

"It's cold. I didn't know you would be here. I certainly didn't know I'd be getting naked," she argued as she stripped the thermal off. Of course, she was wearing a tank top under that.

He was out of patience. He pulled his own shirt over his head and then grabbed her, lifting her easily until her legs wrapped around his waist. This was a stupid move. This wasn't the perfect time to be doing this, since he wasn't really thinking straight at the moment. Then again, when was going to be a good time? She wasn't recovering from any accidents. There were no injuries to worry about. They crashed onto the bed hard enough to cause the headboard to slam into the wall. She gasped, her eyes huge as he pulled her shirt up and moved down her body. His lips trailed down until his nose was skimming her hip bone.

"Daryl," she breathed, her hands going to the sides of his head, stilling him.

His eyes shot up to meet hers. He froze instantly, seeing the torn look in her eyes. He blinked a few times and then shook his head, moving so he was on his knees. What the hell was he doing?

She sat up, staring at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I want too but..." She shook her head.

He ran a hand through his hair as the fog in his mind started to dissipate. "You're right," he muttered as he reached for his shirt next to the bed. He slipped it over his head. He needed to think about everything she had said and it was hard for him to think when she was this close.

She moved onto her knees, facing him. She looked miserable. He felt miserable. "What does this mean?" She asked hesitantly.

He rubbed his arms briskly, suddenly feeling the cold. "It means..." What the hell _did _this mean? "Get some sleep, Carol," he said in a low voice as he moved to get up from the bed.

She touched his arm before he could get too far away. "Are we okay?"

He met her eyes and figured that there was no use lying to her. He'd gotten caught up in the moment and he shouldn't have let himself do that. He shook his head. "No. We ain't okay."

She dropped her hand and seemed to deflate as she nodded.

"We're better though. That's gotta count for somethin'."

She looked up, studying his face before the ghost of a smile graced her lips. "I'll take what I can get."

He finally stood up, slipping his arms into his jacket. "I'll see you."

She nodded and he headed to the door without a backwards glance. If he had looked back then his chances of leaving her there were slim and he knew that staying would only complicate an already complicated situation.


	32. Chapter 32

**Hello! That last chapter had a mixed reaction. Some of you liked it and some of you thought that it was too soon for things to go back to how they were. I know that everyone has different preferences when it comes to how these stories play out and I gave up on thinking I could please everyone. That isn't possible. lol. I've done my share of fist shaking at fics when I thought things weren't happening the way they should. lol Trust me, I get that. And I understand it completely. **

**I don't like to drag things out. Sometimes that takes away from the story but I couldn't force myself to write ten more chapters of rage. I hated writing the ones I did write. I also think that it could believably go either way. He could continue with his battle for eternity and it would be believable. But I also think that these characters have a never ending feeling that their days are numbered. You can only fight something for so long before you realize that you may not have tomorrow to make things better. I think that might make them a little quicker to forgive. Especially when it's got to do with matters of the heart. Love makes people do crap that you never would expect.**

**Either way, I'm happy that you guys are happy whether the last chapter was a hit or a fluke. Regardless, you're usually quick to point out the things you loved about it and that makes you awesome. I hope my explanation made sense. lol I ramble and get off topic often. Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for letting me know what you think! **

**Chapter Thirty Two**

The weather finally decided to break the next day. It was still chilly but it wasn't the bone piercing cold that they had been dealing with. Carol woke up burrowed so far into the sleeping bag that she had to struggle to find her way out of it. She braced herself for the bitter cold to assault her cheeks but when she poked her head out of the sleeping bag it wasn't so bad.

She laid there for several minutes as the memories from the night before ran through her head. She didn't know what to expect this morning. He could regret everything that happened between them or he could have just accepted it for what it was. They had always been drawn to each other for some reason but after what had happened between them after Grady, it had all changed. She was almost sure that no matter what he decided to do, she would never be able to stay away from him. She was so tired. Mentally exhausted actually, from thinking about it so much. And last night had probably complicated things even further.

She stretched, yawned and then unzipped the bag but couldn't bring herself to actually get up. There was bright sunlight shining against the glass on the other side of the curtain and it had her feeling optimistic. She didn't want to get up and have that fantasy diminished.

The sound of a heavy boot kicking her door had her scrambling out of bed in a panic. She opened the door quickly, fear gripping her. When she saw Daryl standing on the other side, holding a cup in each hand and balancing a plate covered with a cloth.

"I wake you up?" He asked, raising one eyebrow as his gaze swept over her.

She shook her head and pulled the door open further so he could slip inside. It was strange seeing him two mornings in a row. He was usually gone or asleep with the exception of yesterday. And apparently today. She shut the door and ran a hand through her hair as he sat the cups down on the counter.

"Sasha sent me packin' but she loaded up a plate first," he said, handing her a cup.

"Sent you packing? Why?" She asked, taking a drink of the hot coffee and was surprised to find it extremely sweet. She coughed a little before he took the cup from her and handed her the other one. This one was black.

"Abe," he said as he took a huge bite of some sort of imitation meat. She was pretty sure it was Spam.

"Abe?" She asked, picking up the other piece of spam off of the plate and taking a much smaller bite.

"He's a piece of shit," Daryl mumbled around the food in his mouth.

This felt so normal, so_ them_, that she was feeling flushed from the excitement of it. "What did he do?"

Daryl shrugged. "He's more messed up in the head than Eugene is. I don't trust him." He took the piece of meat out of her hand and ate it.

"So you got kicked out?" She asked, picking up what looked like some sort of fried bread.

He nodded. "Jude called Ty a fucker last night and they all think it's cause she hears me say it. So when Abe pissed me off I said a few things and next thing I know Sasha was handing me a plate and sendin' me on my way."

She laughed and he looked up sharply at the sound, like he was surprised to hear it. Actually, she was surprised to hear it herself. The corner of his mouth turned up and then he shrugged.

"Anyway, I didn't feel like sittin' alone so I came here," he said, looking away.

She nodded. "I'm glad."

The silence grew awkward until he took a drink of the coffee.

"I don't see how you can drink that. It's like syrup it's so sweet," she made a face.

He looked at the dark liquid and then back up at her. "It's good."

She sighed. "You're a strange man, Daryl Dixon."

He drained the cup and then set it in the sink with the now empty plate. She rolled her eyes at the mess but didn't say anything. If he would keep talking to her then she'd let him make a mess whenever he felt like it and she wouldn't say a word about it. He glanced around the room, and then shoved his hands into his pockets.

She didn't want to bring it up but she couldn't just ignore the matter, no matter how much she wanted to. She had put the breaks on sleeping with him last night and he had grudgingly admitted that things were moving to fast. She wanted to know where his head was today. Last night she had been terrified that maybe he had thought they could have some sort of physical relationship and just ignore the emotional aspect of everything that had happened. She couldn't do that no matter how much she had wanted him and deep down she knew that he couldn't do that either. "How did you sleep?" She asked, deciding to ease into the topic.

His eyes moved towards her bed. "No to good."

She waited for him to say something else but he didn't. She leaned against the counter and sipped the bitter coffee. "Daryl?"

He looked at her and she could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't want to talk about whatever she was about to bring up.

She cleared her throat. "Everything I said to you last night... does any of it matter? Can we fix this?"

A cloud chose that very moment to drift in front of the sun, bathing the room and his face in shadows. He didn't answer right away. "'Course it matters," he said quietly.

She nodded, not daring to push him. "So, where are you planning on running off today? You're never here so I know you have something up your sleeve."

He shook his head. "I was gone so much to get the hell away from you."

She had already known that but she was trying to change the subject. "Rick said that you did this long before I showed back up."

He met her eyes. "Yeah. I was tryin' to get away from you then too."

"And now?" She asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "With all this snow melting I'm stuck here."

Her heart sank.

"And I don't much care for the idea of stayin' away anymore," he added with a sideways glance.

She swallowed hard. "But you still aren't ready to trust me." It was a statement, not a question. She already knew that he didn't trust her but she was going to do everything she could to prove to him that, now, he could.

He shook his head. "Can't just turn that shit on and off, Carol."

She sighed. "I know."

~H~

This felt good. It felt right. Just doing the same things that they had always done before. Before those few nights up in that room, before she left and fucked his world all up. It just felt normal. The sun came out from behind the cloud, lighting up her face. She was gazing off at the wall, her mind a thousand miles away. He didn't want her dwelling on it. He was doing more than he ever thought he could. He poked her in the ribs, causing her to jump.

"Damn it!" Her eyes were wide but she grinned.

"Forget I was here?" He asked, trying to lighten the moment.

She shook her head and sighed. "You may not know it but you have a very large presence for a man that rarely says anything. If you're within a ten mile radius, trust me, I would know you were there. Anyone would."

He snorted but it was all for show. She was doing it again. She was making him feel like he was more than he was and he was falling right into it. She wasn't saying those things because she knew how to get into his head though. She was saying them because that was genuinely how she felt, which made it harder. If she had been blowing smoke up his ass then it would be easy to shrug off her sentimental shit. But she was only saying it because it was how she really saw him. Always seeing more of him than anyone else ever had.

"That's what every man wants to hear. A woman goin' on about the size of their_ presence_," he muttered, his face heating up at his words but needing to break the hold she was starting to have on him all over again.

She laughed, the sound vibrating in his chest like a little jackhammer chipping away at his newly constructed walls. Walls put up solely to keep her out. "Trust me, Daryl. I can go on and on about the size of a lot of things when it comes to you. Your loyalty. Your dedication. Your heart. Your... sex organ." That last one was delivered in a perfect imitation of Eugene's voice and with such a straight face that he nearly lost it.

He shook his head, trying hard to hold it in but eventually he joined her with an embarrassed chuckle of his own, even though he knew his face was nine shades of red. "Real cute," he muttered, eyeing her.

She shrugged, her own face tinged pink either from her comment or from her laughter.

"I guess I'm gonna go on out there and see if there's anything that needs done around here," he said suddenly.

She looked disappointed but she nodded. "Thanks for breakfast," she said, her voice sad.

"Five more minutes?" He asked, for some reason remembering that first morning that he had woken up in her bed.

He could tell by the change in her eyes that she remembered too. They grew misty and her smile was sad. She looked nervous as she slipped her hand into his and he hated this situation. Hated it because she shouldn't have to feel nervous about a gesture like that and hated it because he wanted to kiss her and wasn't sure if he should. What would be the price of letting her in again?

She sighed and then hopped up on the counter, her legs swinging as she held his hand. "We should build a boat," she said absently.

He frowned. "I don't do boats. I'd throw up."

"I've never been on a boat," she sighed miserably.

"They're wobbly and shit."

"You get sea sick. That's hilarious." She laughed softly.

"You get scared of tight spaces, keep laughin'," he grumbled.

She snorted. "That's different. And I'm not as scared of tight spaces as I used to be. I'm much more brave now."

They both looked up at the sound of the others outside, both smiling when they heard Judith's delighted squeal. He knew he should go but he really didn't want to.

She must have sensed his dilemma because she squeezed his hand once and then nodded towards the door. "I'll see you out there," she said.

He dropped her hand and turned, putting himself right in front of her. He saw her eyes darken as she moved her legs further apart, making room for him to get closer. With one arm he pulled her body against his and didn't even have to move any more than that before her lips were on his. The kiss was gentle, hesitant, but lit a fire in him all the same. A fire that he refused to let consume him. Last night that had happened. This morning, he was more in control of his emotions. That didn't make the feel of her any less intoxicating but he was prepared to fight it. He rested his hands on her thighs, ignoring that voice in his head that told him to move them up. The hand that wanted to slip up her shirt moved to cup her neck. Her pulse was jumping under his palm.

When he pulled away her eyes were bright and her face was flushed. "Twenty more minutes?" She asked breathlessly.

"That ain't a good idea," he said, regret lacing his words.

"You're really going to make me work for this aren't you?" She asked, raising one eyebrow at him.

He shook his head, pulling her face towards his again. This time she gripped his shoulders hard and the kiss was deeper.

"Oh damn! My pseudo dad's finally using his moves."

Daryl growled before he turned his head. Piper was standing in the open doorway, her feet crossed at the ankles.

"By all means, old man, carry on. Don't let me screw up all that game now that you're actually putting it to use."

"Piper," he warned.

She held up her hands in surrender and grinned, reaching into her back pocket and then tossing something onto the bed. He squinted and then glared once he realized what it was. He moved out from between Carol's legs and stormed over to the bed, picking up the foil wrapped condom.

"What in the fuck are you doin' with this?" He asked, holding it up.

The smile dropped from her face and her eyes actually widened a little. "I- found it?"

"Piper!" He couldn't believe this girl!

"Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and go do something productive. I'll see ya later."

"Stop," he barked.

She did, turning slowly. "Yeah?" She asked, for once in her life sounding sheepish.

"If I catch you... If you're even thinkin' about..." He growled and then his hands went to his hips. "Are you screwin' somebody?"

She glanced at Carol and he looked over his shoulder. Carol was staring, wide eyed. His eyes went back to the girl and she gave up getting any help from Carol. "I told you... I uh."

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Who? Who's ass am I gonna have to kick?" A thought occurred to him and he felt the blood drain from his face and his stomach turned to knots. "Oh God. Carl? Are and you and Carl sneakin' off and-"

She made a face. "No!"

"Noah?" He scowled. "You tell me now or I'm gonna kick everyone's ass. You wanna be responsible for me kickin' everyone's ass?"

She scowled right back. "You aren't my keeper. I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"If I do recall, you wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for me and I'll be damned if I'm gonna have you going off and getting knocked up on my watch," he yelled. He was yelling. He was standing in here yelling at some stupid girl for something that was none of his business. But it felt like his business. He felt responsible for her. Not only that but she had been like his shadow for so long that he really did feel a certain amount of responsibility when it came to her well being.

"Oh come on-"

"Who?" He asked again, his voice cold.

She shifted on her feet, looking nervous. "Nobody, I swear!"

He put his hands on his hips. "Piper," he growled.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine."

He waited, about three seconds away from actually tapping his foot.

Piper threw one more look at Carol, this time it seemed apologetic. "Lydon. But it isn't as bad as it looks. It isn't like that! If we were then I wouldn't have been so kind as to offer you that condom! And I'm old enough even if that was exactly what we were doing, which again, you are just jumping to conclussions! And it isn't like you weren't thinking about screwing Carol. You know how it is! When you have an itch, you gotta scratch it! Where the hell are you going?"

He was already out the door and he could hear the frantic footfalls of both of them on his heels.


	33. Chapter 33

**Some of you may not agree with the turn this chapter took towards the end but when I was writing it it pretty much took off on it's own and I just followed it. Sometimes that happens to a writer so I'm sorry about that. lol **

**I'm dealing with connection issues so bear with me! My updates may not come on time, like this one but I'll do what I can to update again in the morning! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Three**

He wasn't sure what he was going to do but he was going to do something. He spotted the kid by the fire with a few others. He didn't see Daryl coming his way. Carol grabbed his arm, trying to stop him.

"Daryl, just wait," she pleaded.

He ignored her, stomping through the mud towards the boy who finally looked up as they approached.

"Run, stupid!" Piper called.

Lydon frowned and then seemed to understand what was going on. His eyes widened and then he cursed under his breath. For just a brief moment he really did look as though he was thinking about doing as Piper said but he stood his ground. Daryl didn't hit him. He grabbed him by the coat and turned, dragging him back towards the rooms as the rest of the group looked on in shock. He didn't put up a fight. He had to give the kid props for that.

"Daryl, stop," Carol pleaded once more. "They're being responsible."

He shot her a look that had her closing her mouth. When he opened the door to Carol's room he tossed Lydon inside and was about to slam the door closed when Piper and Carol slipped in.

"Look, Daryl," Lydon began, holding up his hands in surrender.

"Oh Lord," Piper grumbled.

"Oh Honey," Carol admonished.

"Don't you fuckin' 'look Daryl' me, kid," Daryl growled, taking a step towards the boy.

Carol was suddenly between them, her hand on his chest. Usually her presence was a calming one, this time he was getting more pissed off. "Daryl, just hold on a minute. You need to think. She's old enough to make her own decisions and Lydon is-"

"If you say he's a good kid then I swear I'm gonna kick your ass after I'm done with theirs," he snapped.

Her eyes went hard and her hands went to her hips. "You aren't going to be kicking anyone's ass today, Daryl."

Lydon cleared his throat. "It's fine. If he needs to kick my ass then he can kick my ass. That don't mean that I'm not still going to be with her, though."

Piper groaned. "Oh man. Don't try to be all manly and romantic and shit. Can't you see that he's out of his damn mind! This is one of those times you just need to shut the fuck up, Lydon."

Daryl glared at him. "You're gonna stay away from her."

Lydon shook his head.

Daryl took a step closer, pretty much smashing Carol between the two of them but he didn't care. It's what she got for getting in the middle of it. "You're balls could probably fill a dump truck boy, I'll give you that. But I'm tellin' you right now, I catch you with her again and Carol won't be able to save your ass."

"Are you forgetting that I am just as guilty as he is!" Piper said suddenly, her voice enraged. "I don't know if you've noticed but I kind of don't do anything that I don't want to do. This was all on me."

"That's not true," Lydon argued.

"Shut up you idiot!" Piper said, rolling her eyes.

"Daryl, can we talk?" Carol asked suddenly.

He eyed her. "Talk."

"Alone?" She said pointedly.

Daryl pointed at Lydon. "We ain't done, boy. Not by a goddamn long shot."

Lydon held his ground, nodding bravely. It was obvious that Piper didn't want him for his brains because if he was smart he would be high jumping that wall and finding himself a new permanent residence. He stepped around them.

"What about me?" Piper said miserably.

He looked down at her. "You go too, but I swear you better not-"

"Get laid. Got it," she interrupted.

He shook his head angrily and waited for them to close the door. When they were gone he turned his anger towards her. "You're gonna tell me that you're okay with that?" He barked.

She stood her ground. "There isn't anything we can do about it. They want to be together then that's what they're going to do, whether you want them to or not."

He scoffed. "That's bullshit. They don't even know what the hell they're doin'!"

Carol sighed. "Daryl, I think they've got it figured out much better than we do. They aren't little kids. They're grown enough."

"They are not! And we've got plenty figured out," he argued hotly.

She snorted. "Daryl, we're dancing around each other like we always have! We haven't figured out anything!"

"We had it figured out and then you disappeared so don't blame me for the bullshit we're in now. I'm fucking tryin' here, Carol and this ain't about us. It's about Piper and your boy."

"You can't do that!" She snapped. "You can't keep doing that to me. I told you already, I'll never ever be able to live down what I did but you can't throw it in my face every damn time we have a disagreement. You know how sorry I am. You know how much I love you. That's either enough or it isn't enough."

He glared. "It ain't about us right now," he said, his voice dark.

"The hell it isn't. You have your own problems to worry about. Piper is fine. We aren't!" She was practically yelling at him. He growled at her and she growled right back, her arms crossing over her chest. "I'll handle Lydon. You can handle Piper. Right now, we're going to handle each other." She made a face. "That came out wrong."

He huffed and glanced towards the door before meeting her eyes. "I'm tryin'. You know I'm tryin'."

She looked miserable all over again. "I know. But I am too. And I meant what I said, I'll wait. I just don't want to."

He felt his temper start to spike again. "And I do! Jesus fucking Christ you don't listen. You've never listened!" He started pacing, his hand running through his hair. This morning had been great. It had felt so fucking right and now it was all blowing up in his face again. When he looked up she was watching him, her eyes large. He stalled in his pacing trying to figure out the look on her face but he couldn't read her. She looked... excited.

"I do listen. I listen as good as you do anyway," she shot back, her eyes flashing.

"You can't turn this around on me. You've been tryin' to turn this around on me from the get go! You want me to feel like shit for not trusting you when you ripped my goddamn world apart!" He was yelling, he was pacing and he was about to leave. He was so tired of this. Tired of fighting with her. They had never fought before. It almost made him regret ever moving things to that next level. Sure, the sex had been mind blowing, but was it worth all this fucking angst? He wasn't sure.

"I'm done arguing," she said, her voice low.

He threw his hands up and turned to walk out the door but he didn't get far. To his surprise she pushed him.

He spun around, his eyes going wide. "I didn't say I was done with you. I'm just done arguing."

He opened his mouth to ask her what the hell that was suppose to mean but he wasn't able to get any words out. Her lips were on his, hungry and forceful. He realized now that he was right when he had met her eyes before. She definitely was excited, but he didn't know why. This was so unexpected that he actually let her take control of the situation. He was frustrated, confused, unsure if anything he was doing was the right thing to do, and he was more than willing to hand over the reigns. Especially when her fingers slid under his belt and she was tugging him closer. She walked backwards towards the bed.

Well this escalated quickly. What the hell had gotten into her, anyway? He was too stunned to do anything other than follow her, and of course, kiss her back. She didn't break the kiss until she turned and shoved him hard towards the bed. He sat down heavily, opened his mouth to finally speak but she was already straddling his lap. He moved further back onto the bed, dragging her with him.

Her lips finally left his, trailing down his jaw, to his throat and then she caught his earlobe between her teeth, causing him to hiss and move his hips into her. "Goddamn, Carol. What are you..."

She sat up, her hands moving between them, working his belt open, her eyes like blue fire burning into him. "Anybody ever tell you that you talk to much?" She asked breathlessly.

He shook his head, knowing how wide his eyes were as she worked the button on his pants.

"Well, you do," she said as she yanked the zipper down. "And sometimes you just need to be quiet and pay attention to things that feel good," she went on, freeing him from the confines of his pants.

"Holy shit," he whispered as he looked down at her hand working over him. He bit his lip and brought his eyes back up to meet hers. Maybe he should have stopped her but it felt to good. And it had been a very long time since anything had felt good.

Her grip tightened on him and he groaned. "I'm willing to put aside all the baggage and for just a little while, I want you to feel good. Okay?"

He nodded eagerly, completely at a loss. When had he lost control of this situa- "Mother fuck," He growled, looking down sharply as her lips wrapped around him. She moved over him slowly until he felt her throat. When she swallowed around him the back of his head hit the bed and his fingers threaded through her hair. She hummed her approval and he was pretty sure his eyes rolled so far back in his head that he could see his own brain.

He was amazed at her uncanny ability to read him. She knew exactly what to do to him to have him sputtering and whimpering like a pup. A few of her tricks had his head coming off the bed, looking down in amazement. Every time she would look up from under her lashes, giving him a sultry look that he hadn't even known she was capable of.

He had the decency to warn her when he felt that pressure intensify, even though he would mourn the loss of her mouth. "Carol... I'm gonna..."

She hummed taking in as much of him as she could.

"Holy fuck," he breathed as his eyes snapped open and pleasure pulsed through him. She drank him in deeply, her throat constricting around him, intensifying the sensations and causing sparks of light to dance in front of his eyes. She finally brought her head back up, her tongue sliding back and forth across the underside causing him to jerk.

She was breathing heavily but not as heavily as he was. She righted his pants and even fixed his belt while he laid there like he'd ran a ten mile marathon.

He finally came up on his elbows, studying her face. "That was..." There were no words for whatever that was.

She smiled. "Are we still fighting?"

He frowned. "About what?"

She laughed as she climbed off of him.

**Yeah, so that wasn't suppose to happen but you have to admit that he deserved it. The poor guy is totally stressed out and anxiety medication isn't handy in the ZA. I improvised. **


	34. Chapter 34

**Having serious connection issues, folks! Sorry about the delay. I'll be lucky if this even works. **

**Real quick I'd like to point something out. I think in a ZA, a persons sense of time would be a little altered, you know? Life expectancy is a lot shorter. So maybe what some people would drag out for a year, these people wouldn't. When you watch your loved ones die as often as these people do I just don't think they would waste a whole hell of a lot of time refraining from things that are good, and shunning people that they know they love and can't live without. And I'm not the writer you need if you like fifty chapters of drawn out torment. I won't do that. But I'm glad that most of you are okay with where it's going. There are probably less than ten chapters left so we're in the home stretch. Really sorry about the delay and thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Four**

She went about her day in a much better mood than she thought she would be in. She took over the small kitchen area at Rick's. Using some of the ingredients they had brought back from the settlement she was in the process of working on some fried chicken, which was something they hadn't had in a very long time. Of course, this meant actually killing, plucking and cleaning the chickens first. She also had shuck beans simmering in a pot with dried pork and potatoes.

"What's with the feast anyway?" Sasha asked as she sat down at the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen.

Carol looked up and smiled. "It's Christmas Eve. I thought it'd be nice to have a big meal. And tomorrow is Piper's Birthday so I'm going to try to figure out a way to work on something sweet."

Sasha smiled but it was sad. "I didn't realize it was Christmas."

Carol shook her head. "I didn't either, but Piper apparently keeps track somehow."

Sasha eventually got bored and left her alone but in the small apartment she wasn't really alone at all. There were others in the living room but she didn't pay them any mind. She looked up when the front door opened and her pulse quickened. Daryl walked in with the rest of the men, all of them sniffing the air like a pack of dogs.

"I knew I smelled it. I called it," Carl said said with a grin. "We need to move Carol in, dad."

"Jesus Christ, Carol. Will you marry me?" Noah asked with a grin.

"I'm calling dibs on that woman," Abe flashed her a grin. "Smells amazing.

Eugene looked up from where he had been flipping through a magazine but thankfully he didn't say anything.

Daryl finally looked at her, after glaring at the other men. Their eyes locked and the corner of his mouth turned up. Her face flushed under his knowing gaze. She was still shocked at herself for doing what she had done earlier, but it had actually seemed to help their situation. He'd been wound so tight and everything was setting him off and he just needed to calm down. Not to mention all of his glaring and pacing had her wanting to do it. Now he seemed completely relaxed.

She checked on the food and then turned and leaned her elbows onto the counter, studying the group as they chatted among themselves. He had sat in the overstuffed chair, one leg thrown over the arm and one booted foot on the ground. He was fiddling with a bolt, his eyes far away but his face relaxed.

"How did you manage to do that?" Piper asked quietly, hopping up onto the bar and glancing in Daryl's direction over her shoulder.

Carol glanced at the girl, flushing deeply. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Piper rolled her eyes and smiled but there was something off about it.

Carol frowned, glancing around to make sure they were alone. Or as alone as they could be. "What's wrong?" She asked, knowing that there was something bothering the girl.

She shrugged and started picking at a hang nail. "He's pretty pissed at me, huh?" She asked.

Carol shook her head. "He's just... Well, he's Daryl. You just get used to him reacting like that. He's kind of explosive but he's harmless. He cares about you but I explained to him that you're pretty much an adult and he can't make calls for you."

Her face fell and Carol was surprised. She was always usually so upbeat that this mood the girl was in surprised her. She looked up at Carol then. "Have you ever done something that you really feel like shit about? Like, you lied and you kept going with the lie for so long that you kind of just... became the lie?"

"Honey, what are you talking about?" Carol asked worriedly.

Piper sighed. "Tomorrow isn't my Birthday. My Birthday was actually a couple of months ago."

Carol shrugged. "That doesn't seem like too huge of a lie. I won't tell if you won't tell."

The girl still didn't look happy. "I didn't turn eighteen either." She hopped down from the bar and followed Carol to the stove.

Carol glanced at her but waited her out.

"I might be younger than I said I was," she said in a hushed voice.

Carol had a sinking feeling. "Piper, how old are you?"

The girl shifted on her feet. "I kind of just turned fifteen."

She kept her face neutral but she couldn't help but worry. The only argument that she had as far as her having a relationship with Lydon was that she was old enough to make a decision like that on her own. And then she realized with a start that Piper was only a little older than what Sophia would have been if she were alive.

"I also lied about some other stuff. I told Rick that I had a family and I didn't. I was a ward of the state living in foster care when it all happened. I... I don't know why I lied."

Carol finally turned to face her fully. "Piper, why are you telling me all this? You know I have to tell him. I can't keep any of this secret.

"Because that asshole back there somehow gave me a conscience when he went all papa bear on me for the whole sex thing. And now you're in here doing all this just because I asked for something big since it was Christmas, which was another lie because I have no goddamn idea what day it is. The only thing I didn't lie about was the stealing and the drugs and the killing."

Carol bit her lip. "Listen," she said quietly as she glanced towards where Daryl was still sitting. "We'll eat dinner and we'll keep our mouths shut. After that though, we have to tell him the truth. And this thing going on between you and Lydon, it stops now."

Piper snorted. "We aren't actually doing it."

Carol frowned and then piled some of the chicken onto a metal sheet pan. "But Lydon..."

Piper shrugged. "We mess around and I guess I'm kind of like his girlfriend or whatever but we aren't banging."

Carol sighed heavily. "Is there anything else? Anything at all? Because we're talking about this later. This is a big deal."

"He's gonna hate me," she miserably.

Carol smiled. "Piper... wait, that is your name, right?"

The girl made a face. "Yes."

"Well, you don't have to worry about him. He's gonna be mad but the only reason he's gonna be mad is because he cares about you so much. Trust me, I know him. He loves you and when he loves someone, it takes a whole lot to mess that up."

Piper still looked unsure. "My God. I feel like I'm in the middle of a fucking Hallmark movie."

Carol gave her a dry look. "One of the things we're gonna start working on is that mouth of yours."

"Lydon likes my mouth," she winked and walked away, leaving Carol gaping in front of the stove.

She was not looking forward to the talk they were about to have later. She wasn't sure how Daryl was going to deal with these new developments. Her being so young changed things. And she had to admit that he was right. Piper definitely was his responsibility.

~H~

There was definitely something up. Daryl knew it just by the way Piper and Carol kept sharing looks from across the room. Earlier he probably would have stressed himself out over it but right now he just wanted to eat until he was sick and then eat some more and then go to bed. He didn't plan on going to bed alone either. It didn't have a damn thing to do what she'd done earlier, even though he knew she would think otherwise. Even though... God, that had been great.

He glanced up, his eyes focusing on her mouth just in time. She was sitting on the floor with her back against the arm of the couch. She smiled at something someone said and it lit up her face and then her tongue came out, licking her spoon.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled to himself.

"Pervert."

Daryl looked over and felt his face reddening as Rick grinned at him. "Shut up," he said gruffly as he went back to work on the chicken on his plate.

Everyone raved over the meal, talking and laughing with one another. Piper eventually found her way next to Carol and he couldn't help but worry about the new solemn air about the girl. Maybe Carol had been right. Maybe he had gone over board and now she was miserable. He was starting to feel like a real ass.

By the time the group started to disperse he started feeling a little nervous. He didn't know why but something told him that something was coming. He was talking to Rick and Glenn when the other women demanded Carol leave the kitchen to them. She was the one that had put everything together on her own so they were sticking themselves with clean up. She was still insisting that she could help when he finally broke away from the men, grabbed her hand and headed towards the door. She had done enough.

"What are you doing?" She asked, as he was about to push her out the door ahead of him.

"We're leavin'," he said quickly before anyone could stop them. He was surprised when Piper followed but when he saw her and Carol share another look he didn't question it. When they got to Carol's room he stopped outside the door, looking at her curiously.

"We need to have a talk," Carol said as she opened the door and motioned for them both to step inside.

"We can always save it for another day," Piper said, looking at the open doorway like there was going to be a trap inside.

"Piper," Carol said, raising her brow.

The girl groaned and marched inside, turning with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What the hell is this about?" He asked, pushing the door closed. He looked from Carol to Piper.

Piper huffed. "Okay, here's the scoop. I'm only fifteen, I didn't have a family before the world ended, tomorrow isn't my Birthday and I'm not actually having sex with the pretty boy. There, that wasn't so bad."

Daryl felt his eyebrows shoot up as her words penetrated his brain. What the hell was the kid talking about? She was fifteen? Fifteen! Carrying around condoms in her pocket? "What?" He felt his eyes blaze angrily and she cast a nervous look in Carol's direction.

"Daryl, I think-" Carol began but he held up a hand to stop her.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" He asked.

Piper shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't even think it would matter. I didn't even think I'd still be here but..."

He glowered. "But what?" He asked, his jaw clenching furiously.

She met his eyes and for the first time all of that fire, all of that bravado was missing. She was a little girl and she was laying it all out. "Because I realized that you needed me as much as I needed you and that's never happened before." She shrugged. "Who the fuck needs some smart mouthed kid around? But when I realized that you actually did need a smart mouthed kid around I'd already lied like crazy and I didn't know how to tell you. I know the drill, old man. I've seen it hundreds of times and I didn't wanna risk you sending me packing or pawning me off on Dick."

He glanced at Carol, who looked like she was near tears. He nodded towards the door. "Give us a minute?"

She nodded and gave Piper's hand a squeeze before she walked out the door. Once it was just the two of them he started feeling at a loss. He should have kept Carol around. She was better at this shit than he was. He had no fucking idea what to say to the girl.

"You want me out?" She asked, that mask of snark falling back into place.

He shook his head. "No. And you shoulda known I wouldn't make you leave or stick you with Rick. Rick can't handle you."

She gave him a stiff nod. "So what now?"

He ran a hand through his hair and huffed out a heavy breath. "Now, you make yourself at home and remember that I got ears like a bat, I'll hear that goddamn door if you try to leave this room."

She scowled. "What? What the hell am I suppose to do in here all night? And don't act like I'm bunking with Carol. She isn't gonna be in here cause you've eye fucked her six times that I know of today so she's likely staying with you."

His scowl matched hers. "Jesus, shut up! And you're right. What you're gonna do is... go to bed. It's late. We'll talk about shit in the mornin'. Till then, you keep your ass close and if I catch that boy in here, he ain't gonna be too pretty anymore, you hear me?"

She flounced gracelessly on the bed, a frown in place. "This is bullshit."

"Get used to it," he muttered before walked to the door.

"I shoulda picked Ty to play pseudo dad. He's a total pushover."

He glanced over his shoulder just as she looked up, unable to hide a grin. He shook his head. "Night, kid."

"Night, old man."


	35. Chapter 35

**Serious craptola weather heading my way guys so if it takes more than a few days before you get an update then that is likely why! Hope everyone stays warm and thanks for reading! You guys are awesome =)**

**Chapter Thirty Five**

He closed the door and stood outside for a few moments before going to his room. He was terrified. There wasn't a worse person in the world to be responsible for a kid. It helped that she was unlike any kid he had ever encountered before. She was strong. He wasn't sure if she had a weak bone in her little five foot tall body. She was resilient, seeing that she was still alive was proof of that. She wasn't a sniveling little victim, that was for sure. If there was any kid that fit him, it was definitely her. He could do this. It was kind of like looking out for a tiny Merle. He'd done plenty of that throughout his life.

And if he was really honest with himself, she was right. He had needed her.

When he walked in he found Carol rummaging through a bag in front of the counter.

She looked up into the long mirror and met his eyes. "You okay?"

He nodded. "I don't got a clue what the hell to do though."

She shrugged and looked down at whatever she was messing with. Her back was to him so he couldn't see. "You keep doing what you've been doing. You've done a good job. You look out for her and you let her know that she has a fath... family."

He snorted. "I ain't her damn dad."

"To her you are," she said simply. She finally turned and held out a bowl.

He took it, giving it a sniff and then had to keep himself from drooling. It was more of the stuff she had made a few weeks ago. He dug right in, glancing up when she sighed. She was holding out a fork just as he got done sucking the sweetness off his finger. "What's that for?" He quirked a brow.

She smiled. "Nothing at all."

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Anyway, she's staying over there tonight till I can figure something out."

"In my room?"

He nodded, his mouth full. If he didn't stop then he was going to be a complete fat ass.

"Where am I suppose to sleep?" She asked.

He glanced up and shrugged. Damn it. He wasn't going to beg her ass to stay with him. He just assumed that it was a given that if she wasn't staying there then she was staying here.

"Do you want me to go to Rick's, or find another room?" She asked, her voice uncertain.

He sat the bowl down and stood up. He didn't want to talk about this because every time they did they started fighting. He was tired of fighting with her over it. What she had said before made sense. What she was offering was either enough or it wasn't and it was time for him to decide where the hell they were heading. If he asked her to leave the room then he knew she would. She wouldn't argue and she wouldn't beg him to stay. If he asked her to stay then she would be more than willing to. But he needed to figure out what he wanted her to do because this was it and he knew it. It was up to him. He was either going to have to put the past behind him and move forward with her or he had to tell her that he couldn't trust her and he couldn't risk it and move on without her.

They couldn't be what they were at the prison. They would never have that easy friendship again and if he thought about it really hard, that friendship had been a ruse for a long time. The reason the friendship existed at all was because they were both too damn scared to move any further.

"You wanna stay?" He asked, knowing that there was only one option here. He didn't even know why the hell he acted like there were more than one.

She nodded, suddenly looking nervous.

"I'm done fighting," he went on. "But I want you to think real hard about what you want. If you want this then you gotta be all in cause I can't go through that shit again. If we wake up and the whole damn world is dead, I have to know you ain't gonna go anywhere."

She shook her head, her eyes large. "I won't."

He nodded. "Then I'm all in."

She searched his face. "You sure?"

"Are you?" He countered.

She nodded. "I've been sure for a long time." She stepped into him, her hand snaking around his neck and pulling him towards her. She kissed him soundly before backing away. "I need to go grab a few things," she said, heading towards the door.

He blew out a breath once the door was closed. He was nervous as fuck and didn't even know why. Well, he had an idea but he wasn't going to think about it. The air in the room wasn't frigid but he still crawled under the blankets to take off his clothes. He dimmed the lantern until there was just enough light for her to see by. He hadn't gotten naked because he expected her to jump right on him when she came back, but he was more comfortable this way now that it wasn't freezing and it wasn't like she hadn't gotten an eye full of his naked self before. He chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

He must have started to doze off because he hadn't heard her come in but felt her slip into bed next to him. Feeling the warmth coming off of her skin but not touching it was to much. Without even opening his eyes he rolled over. His eyes snapped open when he realized that she wasn't wearing anything. She was on her side with her back to him and as soon as he rolled she wiggled further into him. He ran his hand over the swell of her hip.

His nose skimmed her shoulder and the smell of that soap she had used the night before still clung to her skin. He took his time, kissing a slow trail from her shoulder to the column of her neck. She had admitted that she loved him twice now. He remembered both times clearly, but he had never said it back. Fear had kept him from saying those words. It was the last thing he had left. He had been ready to tell her all those months ago. He had been prepared to do it then. Now he felt as though those words were the only thing he had of himself that he hadn't given her already, and it scared the hell out of him.

But he had to say them because she needed to know. Back then he had been afraid of being with her physically. Now that was the easy part. The hard part was the thing he had been ready for then. But for them to get to where they needed to be, he had to just lay it all out there. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his lips pressed against the sensitive spot right behind her ear.

"I love you, Carol," The words were spoken so low that he hadn't heard them leave his own mouth but he could tell by the way her body melted against his that she heard them.

~H~

She never would have believed that such a softly uttered sentence would have the power to impact her in such an emotional way. Hearing him say it elated her. It filled her with a joy that she hadn't felt since the first day she had looked into the face of her daughter. It also filled her with such terror that it shook her to her core because finding love like that in this world was a very dangerous thing. And it also broke her heart because she could hear the fear in his voice, even though he had barely breathed the words. All of this swirled inside of her at once, causing tears to sting her eyes.

She sniffled delicately and she felt him tense.

"Why are you cryin'?" He asked, unable to hide the dread in his voice.

She rolled over onto her back. "Because," she whispered, swiping at her eyes. "I love you too. So much."

"And that's somethin' to cry about?" He sounded incredibly confused by this fact.

She nodded. "Yes."

"That's stupid," he whispered.

She laughed because it really was stupid and he had no qualms about telling her so. "I guess it is." She ran her fingers through his hair, smiling. "Did you use conditioner last night?"

He snorted and then his lips pressed against her collar bone. "Course not." His breath warmed her chilled skin.

She didn't believe him for a second but she wasn't in the mood to discuss the importance of hair care products. That didn't mean that she wasn't going to take advantage of his clean hair. He moved, propping himself up on one elbow his lips finally meeting hers. He kissed her for a long time, his hand traveling over her lazily, like they had all the time in the world. It was much different than the two other times they had been together like this. The night he had came into her room through the window and the night after Maggie died.

When his hand started moving down her stomach her breath hitched and she felt him smile against her lips. She almost growled in frustration when it moved back up. She was trying to just relax and enjoy the moment but she was aching for his touch but he kept up this agonizingly slow pace. Her blood felt like fire in her veins. She moaned at the feel of his calloused palm against the sensitive skin of her breast. Again, he moved slow.

"Daryl," she pulled out of the kiss, her breathing labored. "Please..."

His hand slid across the center of her chest, exploring her other breast as thoroughly as he had every other part of her he had touched. "Please what?" He drawled, sounding like he knew exactly what he was doing to her and was smug about it.

She squirmed under his touch and then actually grabbed his hand and tried to move it down in a desperate effort to find the release that her body was screaming for. He grabbed her hand quickly and pinned it to the bed as his lips replaced the hand on her breast. She arched into him, panting, unable to get enough air into her lungs. Finally, after what seemed like hours he moved until he was hovering over her. She probably would have been embarrassed by her desperation if she had had control of her thought process but that didn't seem to be the case. She had no grasp of self awareness at all. Especially when she felt his erection pressing against her.

To her dismay he moved down... and didn't stop moving until she raised up on her elbows and actually spoke. "What are you doing?" She asked, her voice frantic as his breath blew over her inner thigh. Truthfully she knew exactly what he was doing but the idea of him actually doing it had caught her off guard. She hated to admit it but she had never had a guy go down on her before. Ed had certainly never been an attentive lover and the few times she had been with other men, it had just never happened.

She gasped when she felt his teeth nip at her thigh. Higher and higher he moved, taking his time like he had been taking his damn time with everything. She wasn't sure what to expect. She didn't want to draw attention to this fact though. She didn't want him to know that a woman her age had never had a man-

"Oh my God!" She cried when she felt his tongue dive right in. Her back arched off the bed and he moved quickly, placing her feet on his shoulders.

She had always admired his mouth but she had had no idea that it could do things like this to her. He read her body like a book and the sensations rocking through her were like nothing she had ever felt before. He suddenly changed tactics, sucking gently, and this was apparently the trick to it. She completely unraveled. The first wave had her crying out in shock. The intensity wasn't consistent. It narrowed down to that one concentrated spot that all of his focus seemed to be on and then it would flare out until even her fingertips were tingling. Over and over it went on but she didn't know for how long. Time meant nothing. The only thing that existed at the moment was this overwhelming feeling. She moaned and muttered complete nonsense and didn't even care. She was gasping for breath when finally she came down, either seconds or hours later, she wasn't sure.

She felt like her bones had turned to jell-o and she didn't even realize he had slid back up her body until she heard him laugh quietly.

"You alright?" He asked, a little breathless himself.

She nodded, looking up at him with hooded eyes. "That was..."

"That was loud as fuck," he finished. She didn't have a chance to respond to him because he was slowly pushing into her. "Son of a bitch," he whispered, his forehead hitting her collar bone. "You feel so good."

Daryl wasn't a man of many words most of the time and these words in particular had her lifting her hips further into him. It was amazing how turned on she could get just by his voice alone. The fact that he filled her so completely was just an added bonus. Unlike the last time, he moved slowly, almost lazily. Lucky her, his pace didn't seem to matter because it didn't take long for her to feel that familiar heat inside of her with every calculated move he made. He groaned as soon as he felt her tighten around him and she knew that he was close when he moved a little faster, rolling his hips and causing her to cry out again and again. He kissed her hard as soon as she felt him pulsing deep inside of her. The warmth of his release leaving her moaning into his mouth.

She finally found her voice a few minutes later when he was sprawled out on his back next to her, breathing heavily. The room couldn't have been over fifty degrees but both of them were naked and uncovered. "That was amazing," she breathed.

"Yeah. Who woulda thunk it?" He grinned.

"Me," she grinned right back. "I mean, the other times were amazing but this was... I don't know how to explain it.

He quirked one eyebrow at her. "Is that so?" He didn't sound like he believed her at all.

She rolled over onto her stomach and raised up on her elbows so she could see him better. "You're a tracker and a hunter. That means that you're observant and completely aware of your surroundings. You're smart and you're patient and you pay closer attention to detail than your average man. So yes. I was well aware that once I got you in bed, you would completely blow my mind with your sexual prowess. And so far you're three for three."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "You're full of shit."

"And you have a lot of pent up aggression, which makes sex with you a very incredible thing It almost feels dangerous. Sometimes you remind me of an animal in a cage. Another reason that, for a long time now, I just knew you would be one hell of a lay." She swore she saw him flushing even in the dark room.

He scoffed and looked away. "Don't objectify me," he said, sounding genuinely offended.

"And Merle told me," she added.

He looked over at her, clearly surprised at this news. "Merle? How the hell would Merle know how I would be in bed?"

She laughed. "Back at the prison he told me that if I ever decided to stop being an ice crotch to let him know because the Dixons' had a gift and either one of you would gladly, and I quote... tear that pussy up."

He raised his head. "He said that?" He asked hotly. Now she could easily see how red his cheeks had grown. "He's such an ass," he grumbled.

She curled up into his side even though he was scowling now. "Either way, he was right. I mean, he didn't have to be so vulgar, but even back then I knew he wasn't lying." She laughed when she heard him sigh heavily.

"Go to sleep loud mouth."

She closed her eyes and felt him pull the blanket up over them right before she fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep.


	36. Chapter 36

**Greetings from the great white south! It's -20 today and there is snow EVERYWHERE! I love winter, excuse the excitement. Okay, this story takes a strange turn here. I wasn't going to write it this way but it happened. A few of you have jokingly made inquiries about it but I've stayed silent and just waited until it was time to post this chapter. I hope it goes over well with you! Anyway, stay warm and be careful out there! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Six**

The first thing he did when he woke up was reach for her. Panic slammed into him when there was no one there. He sat up, willing himself to calm down, his heart banging painfully against his ribs, like a bird beating against a cage, despair climbing his throat, burning like acid.

"Morning."

He turned his head and was greeted with a pair of blue eyes watching him carefully. She crawled back into bed and he let his head fall back to the pillow with a groan. The sun was beating against the glass on the other side of the drapes and he knew he had slept in. The fear he had felt melted away once she curled up into his side. Was it always going to be this way? Every time she wasn't right there was he going to subconsciously think that she had taken off again?

She raised up on her elbow and looked down at him, studying him carefully. "You thought I left, didn't you?" She asked wistfully.

He pushed his hair back out of his face, staring up at the ceiling without answering her.

He heard her sigh. "I can't blame you if you decide that you can't do this. I deserve it and I know it. I just wanted you to give it a try and you did. I won't ask you for anymore than that."

He stayed silent, waiting for his pulse to slow to a normal rhythm. He sighed heavily and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. "I ain't gonna stop tryin'," he said gruffly. He meant it too. He had made the decision to be with her. To really be with her. It was just going to take a little time to get himself to a point where he knew, deep down, he was it for her and she wouldn't leave again.

Raising up again she ran her finger over his lips, smiling sadly. "Somehow I'm going to make this better. And even if I can't, I'm not going to stop trying either."

"Guess that's all we can do then," he said, his voice still gruff.

They laid there like that for a few more minutes until she shifted again, sitting up. "I need to get out there and see what I can help with. I can't just stay in bed with you all day."

He felt his lips twitch but he kept his eyes narrowed on her. "I 'spose I do too. I gotta figure out what to do about that damn girl."

"That damn girl is just fine. You can't control her," Carol said with a grin.

"You're gonna have to get a handle on that boy then. I'll leave Piper be when you convince that kid to stay the hell away from her," he grumbled.

"He isn't mine, Daryl. I brought him to the group but he isn't my responsibility.

Daryl sat up, scowling down at her. "So I gotta play dad to some girl because I'm the one that brought her here but you get to let the boy you brought run wild? That's bullshit."

She grinned. "He's a good boy, Daryl. He don't need to be watched."

He scowled. "Well she's... she's an ass, but I shouldn't have to watch her all the time just cause you think your kid is better than my kid. That's an even bigger pile of bullshit."

"I never said he was better than her! I just don't think that he's really the one we have to worry about. I think Piper is amazing but you have to admit that she's a little... you know."

He pushed the blankets aside and slid out of bed. He was wearing pants but they weren't buttoned and instantly her eyes were all over him at once. A small part of him shied away from the scrutiny but a larger part, one that he was still getting used to, liked the fact that she obviously liked what she was seeing. He cleared his throat, raising a brow at her when her eyes finally made it up to meet his. "You care to elaborate?"

"What?" She blinked.

He crossed his arms over his chest. "For some reason, you think that Piper needs the lookin' after and you were about to tell me why."

Her eyes cleared and she crossed her own arms. "Do we have to do this now? I don't feel like fighting with you over a couple of kids that aren't even ours. How about they just look out for themselves."

He openly gaped at her. "Because she's the one that could end up pregnant if you don't keep a damn leash on the boy!"

She groaned, rolling her eyes. "They aren't even doing anything!"

Hands on his hips he looked at her like she was stupid. "Neither were we! Shit happens out of the blue and you know that. One minute there ain't a damn thing goin' on and then the next you got two people climbin' each other like a tree."

"You're being ridiculous," she muttered, walking past him towards the door.

He grabbed her by the arm, yanking her back until she slammed into his chest. She looked at him from over her shoulder and glared. He put his lips close to her ear. "We ain't done talkin'," he growled.

Her back was pressed hard against his chest and he could feel her pulse quicken. She tried to get away but all that accomplished was him tightening his grip on her, his breath rushing out as her ass moved over his crotch.

She gave up on acting angry and finally laughed, leaning into him. "I love fighting with you."

He snorted. "I noticed." He ran his tongue over the back of her neck and felt her shiver and then suddenly let her go, reaching down and picking up the shirt he had discarded the night before. She spun around just as he started buttoning it up.

"What was that?" She asked, her wide eyes accusing.

He shrugged. "Penance."

She glared. "You're planning on using sexual warfare on me? Seriously, Daryl. A man has a much higher sex drive than a woman. I think you'll mostly just be torturing yourself."

He kissed her quickly on his way past her and stepped out, squinting into the bright sunlight.

She followed and the look she gave him was smug. "If a war is what you want..." she shrugged.

He opened his mouth to say something but suddenly the door next to his slammed shut. Piper stormed out and then stopped in her tracks when she spotted them. She scowled at him and then pointed to the door to her room.

"Thin walls, old man! Thin goddamn walls. The two of you kept me up half the damn night!"

To his horror the others were out by the fire and they were all looking their way. But, of course, Piper didn't pay them any mind. And she wasn't finished.

"So, you finally manned up and put it to her. I'm happy for you, seriously. Hell, I'm happy for her because from what I hear you got some mad skills. But I don't want to hear about it! Jesus! You're pseudo dad, remember? No one wants to hear their parental unit slamming his lady friend. For _hours_!"

Daryl was staring at her, wide eyed and red faced. "Would you keep your voice down?" He hissed. He couldn't believe she had heard them. But of course she heard them. The walls _were _thin. What the hell had he been thinking putting her in the room right next to his.

"Oh my God," Carol choked.

He looked at her and she was covering her mouth, her own face flushed with embarrassment. This was all her fault. After that first time he had went to sleep like any other respectable male. She was the one that had woken him up later and they had done it again. God, this was horrible.

Piper gave them one last withering look and then stormed over to join the others.

"I swear I didn't even think about her being in the next room. She heard everything!" Carol groaned.

He sighed and started walking towards the fire, knowing everyone was staring at them. "We need to figure something else out. She's gonna hold this over my head forever."

"Well, you can't lecture her about having a sex life and then force her to stay in a room where she gets full audio of your own," Carol hissed.

He scowled and then veered off towards the wall.

"Where are you going?" She demanded.

He didn't even glance back at her. "Huntin'. You were the loud one. You handle this mess."

~H~

She watched him go with a scowl on her face. She couldn't believe that man! Turning on her heel she stormed over to the fire, ignoring the smirks on some of their faces. Piper and Lydon were sitting together on one of the logs, talking in low voices. Noah and Carl were sitting close to them and then all three boys started laughing at whatever Piper was telling them. Carol felt her face flush even more and she looked away, only to meet the merry eyes of Rick.

"So, I hear that you two patched things up," he said with a grin.

"Shut up, Rick," she grumbled.

"Well, here," he said, handing her a bottle of water, "You've gotta be thirsty."

She growled but then realized he was right. She took the bottle and drank her share before handing it back to him.

"Seriously, is everything okay now?" He asked, all the teasing gone from him eyes.

She sighed, remembering the look on Daryl's face this morning when he had thought she was gone. It had stung but she had earned it. "I think we're a lot closer to being okay than I ever expected to be. He doesn't trust me but at least he's trying."

Rick nodded, his eyes going to the wall. "It was pretty bad there for a while. I even tried talking him into finding someone else."

She didn't begrudge Rick for making the suggestion. Seeing him with another woman would have been agony but she would have endured it because it would have been no ones fault but her own. "Did he consider it?" She asked out of curiosity alone, even though she knew him well enough to know he hadn't. Daryl didn't open up to many people and he didn't open up to anyone all the way. Not until her and then she had ran off and damaged him all over again. He wasn't the type of man that could be with a woman easily.

Rick shook his head. "I thought he was gonna take my head off for even thinking that he would do something like that." He looked at her, his eyes imploring and all traces of humor vanishing from his face. "If you feel like you can't be here. Really be here," he paused and looked out towards the wall again and sighed heavily. "Just don't do that to him again. I can't watch him go through that. He deserves to be happy."

Carol felt her heart sink. She knew then that Rick didn't trust her either. It didn't seem like anyone did and it was her own fault. She looked over and happened to catch Lydon's eye. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Well, there was one person here that she hadn't let down. That had to count for something. "I wouldn't leave again. I learned my lesson," she said in a low voice.

Rick wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a half hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Hands off the goods, Dick. If you're thinkin' about playin' grab ass with my pseudo dad's woman while he's gone I'll happily kick your nuts completely off."

Rick and Carol both looked across the fire where Piper was openly glaring at them both. Carol eyed her until Piper finally dropped her gaze.

"If you don't stop calling me Dick Grimes then I think I'm gonna start calling you baby Merle. And trust me, that isn't a compliment," Rick said as he stepped away from Carol.

Piper shot up off of the log that she had been sitting on, her fists clenched at her sides. "How the fuck did you know that?" She yelled, her voice trembling with anger.

Carol frowned and her and Rick shared a startled look before they both turned back to the furious girl. "Know what, Piper?" Carol asked gently.

Piper looked between them, her eyes darting like a caged rabbit as she took a step back. "Why did you call me that?" She said in a lower voice.

"What?" Rick asked. "Baby Merle?"

"Piper, what's wrong?" Carol asked, taking one step towards the girl.

"Don't you ever call me that again," she growled.

Carol felt a strange chill run up her spine. "Why," she breathed. "Why are you so angry that he'd call you that?"

Amazingly, Piper looked even more outraged now, her face twisting up in disgust before she actually spit on the ground. "Merle. That's the name of the piece of shit that got my would have been mom hooked on the hard shit and then took off after he knocked her up. He's the whole goddamn reason the bitch gave me up to begin with. How the hell did you know that? Nobody knew that! I wasn't even suppose to know that!"

"Oh my God," Carol whispered. "Rick... you have to find Daryl. Now."

Rick took off at a jog towards the wall, not needing to be told twice. Carol stared at Piper who was watching Rick.

"What the fuck is going on?" She asked, her sharp eyes meeting Carol's once more.

Carol didn't know what to say. It wasn't really her place to say anything at all. She shook her head. "Daryl... Just wait for Daryl to come back and we'll talk.

**SO, this is far fetched and I am completely aware of that. But this is fanfiction and I went with it anyway. I ran Daryl through the ringer in this story and before this story comes to an end I wanted him to have more than just Carol as an end result. Him losing Merle has always bothered me more so than any other loss to any other character other than when Carol lost Sophia. But Sophia, like Beth, is gone for good *sorry, I couldn't resist that barb*. But I want to end this with him not only having a strong relationship with Carol but a huge piece of his brother. A link to someone that he didn't get a chance to grieve over. So, some of you may think that it's too over the top. That's cool because you're right. But this is what I wanted for him in this story. I'll update again soon as long as my internet provider cooperates =) Again, thanks for reading! **


	37. Chapter 37

**Crappy weather is keeping me from updating as often as I'd like. It thawed out a little today so I'm updating this while I can. We're getting more bad weather soon but hopefully it won't be like this last bout we've had. Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Thirty Seven**

The temperature was still hovering near sixty, causing him to shed the jacket as he walked. He wasn't hunting. They didn't need the meat and for the first time in a long time he just wasn't in the mood. He had left because there was no way he was going to live down the scene that Piper had caused earlier and Carol was just better at dealing with the teasing shit from everyone. He didn't know what the big deal was. Back when Abe and Rosita were sneaking off together all the time no one made a big deal of it. But he knew people would rib him until he wanted to hit them and he wasn't going to subject himself to that torment just yet.

He also just needed to get away for a while. He needed to think about things and he hadn't been able to do that the last few days. What he had wanted to do, after he realized that staying away from Carol wasn't an option, was take things easy. Talk to her. Build that trust back up and then jump back into whatever they had started all those months ago. It just didn't happen like that. He hated that there was no middle ground with them. Their relationship went from nothing to everything in one huge leap. He thought maybe that was where he had went wrong the last time so this time was going to be different. But it had all happened all over again. One thing led to another and that led them to jumping into bed together.

Any other man would have probably been okay with that but he wasn't so sure. He was putting too much of himself out there again and he couldn't stop himself. He didn't truly think that she would make the same mistakes. If she was going to leave him then she would have done it when he had treated her like she wasn't there. But he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to shake that fear. Maybe after enough time had passed.

He veered off from the beach, heading towards the woods. Since he was out he may as well at least try to kill something. He was almost to the trees when he heard the sound of someone shouting in the distance. He turned sharply and sure enough, Rick was barreling towards him. His heart sank to his boots as he took off towards him. What the hell could have happened that would have Rick charging him like this? Walkers? One of those rogue groups they had been warned about?

Once he was closer Rick stopped, bracing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"What the fuck happened?" Daryl barked, dread filling his voice.

Rick straightened up. "You gotta come back. No one is hurt or anything but you need to talk to Piper," Rick managed.

Daryl didn't wait around to ask any questions. If there was something wrong with the girl then he needed to get to her. That dread hadn't let go of him. Rick wouldn't have came looking for him unless something was terribly wrong. It didn't matter that she wasn't hurt. There was something wrong and he wasn't there. He ran harder, his legs burning with the exertion. He was getting soft now that they had been able to finally relax and it felt like he wasn't gaining any ground.

When he finally made it to the wall he almost crashed through it in his haste. His eyes scanned the area but he didn't see Piper or Carol anywhere. He felt a little relieved when Lydon jogged towards him.

"Where the fuck is she?" Daryl panted.

Lydon pointed to the room. "I don't know what happened. Everything was okay and then all of a sudden Piper was going the hell off about something. Carol tried to calm her down but she just stormed off to her room."

"You don't know what caused it?" Daryl asked, catching his breath.

Lydon shook his head. "Rick said something to her and she just went off."

"What the hell did he say to her?" Daryl asked, rage building inside of him like a living coiling thing.

Lydon shrugged. "I wasn't paying attention but Carol told Rick to go find you and he just took off. When you find out something can you let me know that she's okay?"

They were walking towards the rooms and Daryl paused outside of the door and looked at the boy. The kid looked like he really just wanted to bust the door down and figure things out for himself but he was holding back. "I'll let you know kid," he said before slipping into the room.

Piper was pacing back and forth and Carol was leaned against the counter watching her. When they looked up and saw him Carol looked like she was about to faint with relief.

"We need to talk for a minute," Carol said as she walked forward and grabbed his arm.

Piper spun around, her face an angry mask. "No, fuck that! You're gonna tell me right now what the hell is going on. Who the fuck are you people?"

Daryl frowned and looked back at Carol. "Piper, just hold the hell on for a minute. What the hell happened?" Daryl asked.

Carol grabbed his hand and started moving towards the door. Piper tried to follow but he gave her a look that stopped her. Piper glared and crossed her arms over her chest. When Carol finally had him outside the door he expected her to drop his hand but instead hers tightened in his. The look in her eyes had him bracing himself. He had never seen it before.

"Tell me what the fuck Rick said to her," he growled. He knew that Piper was a handful and he knew that she pushed buttons on purpose but Rick had no fucking right saying something that would upset her this much.

"Daryl, I think... I think Piper is your niece. I think Merle is her father," Carol said carefully.

Daryl scowled. What the fuck was she talking about? Sure the kid had some of Merle's infuriating characteristics but that didn't mean shit. They had scared the shit out of him thinking that there was something wrong and this was the reason? He snorted. "Have you lost your goddamn mind? That kid ain't Merle's. If he did have some kid out there what would the odds be of her findin' me, of all people?"

Carol shook her head. "You don't understand. Rick told her that he was going to start calling her baby Merle because she was giving him a hard time. As soon as he said it she just... she went off. Somehow she learned before all of this that a man named Merle got her mother addicted to drugs and then got her pregnant. When he took off she gave Piper up. Daryl... I really believe that she is Merle's daughter. I think she's your niece."

Daryl shook his head. He wasn't even going to let the idea sit long enough to take root in his mind. The chances of him having nieces and nephews out there somewhere were probably high. Merle was Merle, after all and he very well could have fathered a whole football team. But the likelihood of one of them finding Daryl, on accident, in this mess was too far fetched for him to believe. "It had to have been someone else. She ain't Merle's. She can't be."

"What makes you so sure?" Carol asked gently.

He shook his head again. "Because! How the fuck could it be? It's impossible."

"Daryl, I'm not so sure. You need to talk to her. Figure out if she knows anything else. The more information we have to go on, the easier it will be to tell if it's true. So far she knows her father was a man named Merle who had a drug problem and left her mom after she got pregnant. Maybe she has more facts but you have to at least try."

He put his hand on the doorknob. "Let's talk to her then."

She nodded and followed him back into the room. Piper was sitting on the bed, chewing on her nails. When she looked up her eyes met his and he studied her closely, trying to see some resemblance to his brother. There really wasn't one though. Her eyes were light green, her hair was dark red, her stature was unusually small even for her age. He knew when Merle wasn't buzzing all of his hair off it was curly like hers but there were millions of people in the world with curly hair. All of her features were delicate, much to delicate to resemble his brother. If there was a chance she was his brother's then she must have gotten all of her looks from her mother.

And then she pushed her hair behind her ears and he narrowed his eyes. It was something so small he had never noticed before. Those fucking ears. Ears that had always pissed him off because the tips of them always seemed to poke out, making him look like some kind of goofy little kid. Just like elf ears without the damn point. It was something small. Very small. But once he realized that the kid had those same goddamn ears he looked even more closely. He knew for a fact he had never slept with some random woman so if she wasn't his blood somehow then why did she have the misfortune of inheriting his stupid elf ears?

And suddenly that wasn't the only thing that was starting to stand out. Her eyes were large but the shape resembled Merle's from years ago. Her nose was small but the subtle curve was a lot similar to Merle's nose. The rest was probably from her mother but there was enough there, now that he looked hard enough, to give him pause.

"Tell me," she demanded, her teeth clenched and her eyes flashing angrily.

He didn't even know what to say.

Carol gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "I think I'm gonna go ahead and wait outside."

He nodded. A part of him wanted her there but another part thought that he should do this on his own. When the closed Piper stood up.

"I know you know him," she said bitterly. "I'm not an idiot. Where the hell is he? Who the hell is he?" Her eyes were hard but he saw the pain there.

Daryl cleared his throat. "He's dead," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

She nodded, still almost vibrating with rage. "I fuckin' knew it. I knew that they knew him as soon as Dick called me that."

Daryl nodded. "Yeah. We knew him." He couldn't keep the hurt from his voice. No matter what Merle had done, he was the only family Daryl had had and he had loved him, no matter his faults.

"So what was he to you. You guys dope buddies or something?"

He shook his head. "What all do you know about your parents? Tell me everything and then I'll tell you."

She ran a hand through her hair. "I had a designated Social Worker that was always on my case about shit. I was in her office all the time and noticed this fucking folder she always got out whenever I was in there. I knew it had answers to who the hell I was so one night I snuck out. I was staying with these doper foster parents and left as soon as they passed out. I broke into the building and found my file."

"What'd it say? Tell me everything you remember."

She snorted. "My egg donor was some upper class kid from North Carolina. She got accepted to a college in Atlanta Georgia. Shortly after that I guess her life went to shit because the paperwork was just lists of minor drug arrests and rehabs. Then I found this fucking letter she had written that I was suppose to get when I turned eighteen. Some bullshit sob story about how bad her life had gotten after getting involved with my bio dad, who she called Merle. She made it a point to blame him for all of it and I guess she had every right, huh? Her life hadn't been too bad till he showed up. And that's pretty much all I know. I didn't try to find her. I didn't have the resources. I knew she was somewhere in North Carolina though cause that's where I was born. Now what the hell was this asshole to you?"

Daryl was having a hard time keeping his emotions reigned in because he was almost certain now. He even remembered this girl that Merle had messed around with for a while that had been a student at AU. He only remembered cause he knew that if she stayed around his brother for long, her life was surely going to start down a dark path. Apparently Daryl had been right. He couldn't help but wonder if Merle knew about Piper, though. He had a lot of faults but family meant something to Merle. Just like it meant something to Daryl. Blood mattered and it always would. Surely he would have done something differently if he knew he had a daughter on the way.

"Daryl, just tell me," she said, her voice catching.

"He was my brother."

She blinked, the anger falling away as confusion took hold of her. She shook her head and her eyes started to shine with unshed tears. She tried to storm past him but he grabbed her arm. He understood her need to escape but he couldn't let her do that. He _wouldn't_ let her do that. He wasn't sure how to feel about this. She had gone all this time thinking that she didn't have a family and now she just found out that the father she had spent her whole life hating was dead. Her face crumpled, the last of the anger falling away and the pain he saw there caused him to flinch. One small tug on his part was all it took for her to bury her face in his chest, her arms going around him, holding on tightly.

He wasn't sure what to do then, but suddenly he realized, with a jolt, that this was blood. This was a piece of his brother. He had no doubts anymore. Maybe he should have but in that moment he was sure that she was, indeed, a Dixon. Hesitatingly his arms went around her and her small frame shook with a gut wrenching sob and her arms tightened further. He held her like that until she finally seemed to cry herself out. His shirt was soaked but he didn't mind.

She finally loosened her grip on him and then stepped away, keeping her head down and swiping at her eyes. "This is to fucked up for words," she muttered, her voice horse.

He nodded even though she wasn't looking at him. "Yeah. It is."


	38. Chapter 38

**Still dealing with weather so bear with me. Now we are expecting major flooding within the next few days. Here's to me not floating away. Just a few more Caryl issues to wrap up and then it's a done deal. **

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

When they finally came out of the room Carol was relieved to see that Piper had made some sort of progress at accepting this incredible news. Piper walked away, towards Lydon who stood up as soon as he spotted her. Daryl was silent, watching until Lydon wrapped his arms around the girl, lowering his head until his lips brushed her hair. Daryl grunted and looked away but Carol thought it was sweet.

"You think she'll be okay?" Carol asked, finally looking at him.

He nodded and leaned against the wall, his eyes far away. "She's tough. She can handle it."

"Are_ you_ okay?" She asked, stepping closer.

He sighed and let his head fall back against the bricks. "Yeah. I just thought after Merle... I thought that was it. I thought I was all that was left. I never would have imagined something like this would happen."

"What was it?" She asked. "You seemed so sure that it couldn't be true and then I saw it. Something changed."

He laughed, the sound filling her up and causing her to smile. "Her goddamn ears."

Carol made a face. "Her ears?" She studied him again, noticing the tips of his ears poking out from the hair that was in serious need of a trim and then she laughed. "She has the same ears! I never realized."

"Course not. Who the fuck would guess somethin' like that?" He asked, looking towards Piper again. "Of all the things she could have inherited from me it had to be that."

She laughed and he dragged his eyes back to hers. "Daryl, you have the most adorable ears I've ever seen on another human being. She's blessed."

He snorted. "Stop."

She watched as his ears turned red, causing her to laugh even louder.

"Are you seriously making fun of me right now?" He asked with a scowl. "Some kind of monumental life altering event happens to me and there you are braying like a jackass."

She grinned and shook her head. She couldn't resist. She pulled his face down towards hers, moving like she was about to whisper something to him. Instead she traced the shell of his ear with her tongue and then bit down lightly on his earlobe. His breath hissed out and then his arms were around her, pulling her closer. "See," she said, pulling her face away and smiling up at him. "Sexy _and_ sensitive. I love them."

"You're an ass," he grumbled but he didn't loosen his hold on her, which was just fine as far as she was concerned.

"You wouldn't have me any other way, Dixon." She kissed him lightly on the corner of the mouth. She tried to back away from him but he wasn't easing up on the grip he had on her.

"No, I wouldn't," he said. He glanced around, making sure no one was watching and then kissed her. This wasn't a peck like she had given him. This was definitely better than that. His lips were demanding and she was more than willing to submit. For a few moments she forgot where she was, losing herself in the feel of him. When he finally broke the kiss she was still in a daze until she heard him chuckle darkly into her neck.

She pulled back and gave him a look. "Now who is making fun of who?"

He shrugged. "You're easily distracted. That's somethin' I never knew before."

She scoffed. "You're distracting."

He finally dropped his hands and stepped around her, walking towards Piper and Lydon who were now sitting on the stairs leading up to Rick's. They both glanced up and from the look on Lydon's face Piper had already told him what had happened. There was something in his eyes that had Carol frowning though. He smiled and it looked genuine but there was a sadness there that she hadn't seen before.

"We should talk, leave these two to whatever it is Dixons do," she said to Lydon as she gave Piper a wink.

Lydon nodded and stood up. "How bout the beach? It seems safe enough."

Carol glanced at Daryl, unsure if he trusted her to go that far without running away again. He gave her a nod and she took the hand that Lydon offered. She just realized in that moment how much she missed just spending time with him. Everything had been so crazy since they found the others that they kind of went their separate ways a little. She needed to pull him back into the fold. She wasn't afraid anymore.

She didn't say anything until they were walking. She had checked her magazine before they left so she wasn't worried about getting caught off guard. She wasn't planning to walk very far anyway but you could never be too careful.

"So, tell me what's wrong," she said suddenly.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and kicked at the sand. "Nothing really."

"You need practice," Carol said vaguely.

He glanced at her questioningly. "Practice?"

She nodded. "Yeah. You need to practice your poker face. You really do kind of suck. Now, tell me what's bothering you."

"It's nothing. It's stupid," he said quickly.

She stopped, grabbing his arm and forcing him to face her. She actually had to look up because he was a whole head taller than her. "If something is wrong, no matter how stupid you think it is, you can talk to me about it. I know I haven't been here for you because of everything that's happened but just because we're with the group, it doesn't mean that you mean any less to me. Do you understand that? Now, what is eating at you. Trust me, I have all day."

"Doesn't it feel weird?" He said hesitantly. "You know, not having anyone?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

He made a frustrated sound that reminded her a little of herself. "You know. Look at Carl. He has his dad and his sister. Sasha has Tyreese. Now Daryl has Piper. Who do we have? I told you it was stupid."

Sometimes she forgot how young Lydon actually was, and how much he had been through over the last few years. She never worried much about him because of his easy smiles and upbeat attitude. She should have known better though. He was still just a kid and he probably did feel very alone in the world. "That isn't stupid at all."

He met her eyes and it stung when she saw that incredibly lost look there. "I should be happy for her."

Carol nodded. "You should. And you will be. There isn't anything wrong with feeling alone. There isn't anything wrong with you wishing you had what someone else has. Especially something like sharing actual blood with another human being. If you feel cheated it's because you have been. You should have your parents and your aunt. You shouldn't have to face the world knowing that you are the only one left. But that's the lot you've been given. There's nothing you can do now but keep going forward."

He glanced over his shoulder, back towards home. "Does it ever get easier?"

She smiled. "No. You just somehow learn to deal with it. There's going to be good and bad, just like before. There's going to be heartache and joy, just like before. And you'll always have me."

He smiled and it was a little less sad now, which was something at least. "I guess we need to go back now. Piper is kind of messed up over all of this."

Carol slipped her arm through his and steered him back towards the wall. "I think I'm going to try to talk Daryl into moving a little closer to Rick's place. I want you closer. If Daryl is making Piper stay in a room next to ours then you can stay in one on the other side. Surely he won't complain... much."

Lydon cleared his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. Carol thought that it was because of Daryl, but he would eventually come around and like the boy. When Lydon spoke, however, Daryl wasn't the first thing he mentioned. "I... uh... Piper was telling me about those thin walls. I think maybe I'll just stay a few rooms away. I'll be close enough."

Carol groaned. That girl really didn't know when to quit.

~H~

Daryl wasn't thrilled about leaving. It wasn't only that he didn't like the idea of leaving Piper, even though that did leave him with a bad taste in his mouth. He had just learned that the unimaginable had happened to him. He had a part of his brother back. A living breathing smart mouthed trouble making shit talking piece of his brother. And now he was suppose to just drive off and leave her here for the whole damn night? He knew if he put up a fight then he could easily stay behind but he didn't want to do that either. He had been Rick's right hand for a long time and now if the man needed him he felt obligated to do what he needed to do. Within reason, of course. And this, unfortunately, was withing reason.

"Maybe you can just figure out a way to pay them back for the crap I stole," Piper said as he shoved a change of clothes into his bag.

Daryl shook his head. "I ain't payin' off your debts. You stole it. You pay it back."

Piper flounced on the bed with a heavy sigh. "That's bull. Didn't my sperm donor ever bail you out of a bind? Surely you can move the obligation to pay him back on to me."

Daryl flinched slightly at the ice in her voice. He understood why she felt that way but she had no idea what Merle had done for him in the end. The girl had every right to hate the man but really, if Merle had known that he had a kid on the way, and stayed with Piper's mom, what kind of life would she had had with them? Hell, he himself had been raised in a house with an addict. It wasn't any way for a person to grow up. Then again, living in the system, believing that no one out there gave a damn about you would have been a rough way to grow up too. He felt bad. He felt genuinely awful about the life that the girl had been handed. She hadn't asked for it, that was for sure.

"Sorry," she said after he didn't respond to her right away.

He gave her sideways glance and zipped up the bag. "Ain't never heard that one come outta your mouth before. You feelin' all sentimental or something?"

She scoffed. "He was your brother. I shouldn't be such a dick. You aren't the one that hauled ass and threw me to the wolves."

Daryl dropped the bag and sat down on the chair across from her, exhaling a heavy sigh as he met her eyes. "Merle, he was an ass, alright. I know that better than anybody. But the truth is, you'd be just as screwed if he'd stuck around as you were before the world went to shit."

For once, she waited for him to go on and he realized, with a start, that she looked eager. She wanted to hear about Merle, even if Merle had abandoned her.

"He was bad a for a long time. I used to wonder how the hell the two of us were even brothers. He was a thief and a brawler. A drug addict. He had his faults just like any other man but if you wanna know the truth, I don't think he had a clue about you. The one thing that mattered to him more than anything else was blood. I think if he'd known, he'd have came after you."

She looked away but, thankfully, her eyes were dry. "What makes you say that? Seems like he was a real asshole."

"Because the reason he's dead is because he wanted me to have a chance. He died for me because we're blood and that's what blood does. You understand?"

She met his eyes again and gave him a stiff nod. "Maybe someday you can tell me more."

He felt the corner of his mouth turn up. "Trust me, you'll get a real kick out of that. Are you gonna be alright tonight?"

She rolled her eyes. "I think I can manage. I like Tara. Even Rosita is pretty cool. I won't give them any shit. I'll just stay away from the red rocket. Just the way he looks at me pisses me off."

Daryl nodded and shouldered his crossbow. "Alright then. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya, old man," she said wistfully.

He walked out the door and felt guilt start to settle in his gut. She didn't want him to go, no matter how much she tried to put on a brave face. Maybe he should have told Rick to go without him...


	39. Chapter 39

**So, we're so close to the end! It's been crazy around here. Freezing blizzard like weather weeks and then rain and flooding. I think it's all calm now. I hope. Hopefully the rest of you are dealing with more agreeable weather. If not then I feel you! Thanks for reading! **

**Chapter Thirty Nine**

Lydon wasn't happy about being forced to go with them but Piper couldn't go and Daryl had refused to let them both stay behind. It was the first time that the boy had ever put up any kind of fight that she had seen. Carol really did feel for them but Daryl was right. They were much to young to be doing the things that they had been thinking about doing. At least it hadn't already happened. When she tried to tell Daryl that much he had grown red faced and furious and sputtered over his words until he finally just stormed out.

Tyreese had been kind enough to let the boy drive the large truck so that made it more bearable for him anyway. Her and Daryl were in the back, with Lydon and Tyreese in the front. Tara, Abe and Rosita had stayed behind.

Daryl was quiet, which wasn't out of character at all, but she could tell that he was miles away. He rode with his head leaned against the window, his eyes trained on the back of the drivers seat. He had one hand on her leg, tracing patterns absently with one finger, which was far more distracting than one would ever believe. She didn't say anything until they were pulling up to the gates.

"You okay?" She whispered, pitching her voice too low for the others to hear.

He blinked and turned his face towards her. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be okay?" He kept his voice as low as hers.

She shrugged. "It's been a rough year, and this week has been particularly taxing. If you want to talk..."

He snorted and then shook his head, a wide smile gracing his face. It was one of those full on rare smiles that left her breathless and wide eyed. She would do anything, anything in the world to see him smile like that more often. "You ain't got a clue what the fuck you're talking about," he whispered.

She actually didn't for a second until she finally remembered what she had said to him. He was still smiling and she was having a hard time focusing on anything else. Once they stopped not far from the gates Lydon and Tyreese both jumped out of the truck, leaving them in relative peace. "You look distracted," she said after she found her voice again.

She made a startled sound when he suddenly grabbed her and hauled her onto his lap. She glanced out the window but none of the others were paying any attention to them. Before she could ask what he was doing his hand was on the back of her head, pulling her face towards his. His arms encircled her, locking her to him. His mouth met hers softly, surprising her but thrilling her all the same. She settled lower onto his lap, reveling in the closeness.

When she finally pulled back, meeting his eyes, she couldn't help but ask. "What was that for?"

He shrugged. "I'm done worryin' about shit. Really done. I guess it feels good to let shit go."

"What do you mean?" She asked, searching his face.

"When I woke up I was pretty damn sure you were gone again. I thought you packed your shit and you just took off. I gotta stop doing that or I'm gonna drive myself crazy. I get why you did what you did. I didn't before cause I never would have done it but I ain't faced the same shit you have. I had to try to put myself in the same situations you've been in. I didn't wanna do that before. I didn't wanna understand why the fuck you'd run out on me. But I think I get it and I'm done. That's a big goddamn weight for a man to shrug off."

"And all of this came about in one day?" She asked.

"A lot's happened today. I ain't wasting anymore time worrying. I got a kid I'm stuck lookin' after. I got a bed to sleep in every night. I got you. Life could be a lot fuckin' worse. Talkin' about Merle... Well, he'd break my fuckin' nose if he knew I was still waiting for the world to fall on my head. He didn't die for me so I could waste my time being miserable. So I'm not gonna do that."

She smiled and pushed his hair back from his eyes. "You can't force yourself to trust someone, Daryl."

"No. But I can stop forcing myself to look at the glass half empty. I can stop reminding myself to keep one eye open so you can't cause anymore damage. I wanna let it go. So I let it go."

"That easily?"

He shook his head. "It ain't been easy. I ain't let it be easy. I was holding on and I didn't have to. We don't have time for that. We can all be dead by daylight and I ain't takin that burden to my grave. You ain't goin' anywhere. I know that now. I knew it last week. What can I say? I'm a grudge holder."

"I love you," she said because she couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. There was a lump in her throat and she tried to swallow it down.

"You should. I'm a great fuckin' catch," he said with a grin and then opened the door. She scrambled off of him before anyone could see them, flashing him a wide smile as he climbed out after her.

There were more walkers now that it was growing warmer. The cold slowed them down, but there were a few making their way towards the settlement now. There were plenty of people there to get rid of them so they didn't pose as big of a threat as they could have. The people seemed efficient enough but there was something sloppy about the way they handled the walkers that had Carol frowning. She was used to the way her own group did things. They had their faults but when it came to things like protecting themselves and each other, her and the others were like trained soldiers. These people didn't look that.

"I wonder why we haven't seen more walkers at the Motel," Carol muttered as she watched the men sloppily take out the walkers.

"Marshes. They can get to us but they have to stick to higher ground and they ain't smart enough to know that. There's been a few get to us but for the most part, the place is pretty secure. Even when they ain't slow from the cold," Daryl said as his eyes followed hers. She could tell my the look on his face that he wasn't very impressed by this groups defense tactics. His brows drew together.

They followed the others through the gate, greeting Luke and letting him lead the way. Carol was half tempted to ask him if he remembered Piper but it wasn't her place. It would be nice for the girl to get to leave the Motel every once in a while. The town was just as it had been the first few times she had been here. The normalcy was something that she should have loved but it put her on edge. She could tell that it put Daryl on edge as well. If there was a chance that these people, like Philip Blake, weren't who they said they were then their small group was pretty much dead, even if the people didn't seem as strong as them. They couldn't fight off another group this size.

It made her feel better that Luke never mentioned their weapons. There was no demand to turn them over. He mostly talked to Rick but she caught him glancing at her and Daryl questioningly a few times. Luke asked Rick if they could meet privately and Carol could feel Daryl tense next to her. Carol and Lydon had actually spent the night here before her group had stumbled upon them right here on Main street. She didn't feel threatened at all but she knew that Rick wouldn't be going anywhere alone. Even if it was safe. They had learned their lesson and trust wasn't given easily to people that hadn't been with them for a while.

Daryl and Rick continued there talk with Luke and she let her eyes take in the sites, paying the men little attention. Much like the first time she had been here she was taken aback by how many of the people looked like they didn't have a care in the world. Like there wasn't any dangers beyond the walls. She started scanning the shops when Daryl nudged her in the ribs and when she looked at him he dropped a key in her hand.

"What's this?" She asked.

"Luke said that me and you can have the room you stayed in before. He wants to talk to Rick so me and Glenn are goin' with him."

"So I'm suppose to go ahead and wait for you in the room?" She quirked a brow.

He shrugged. "No."

"I might go check out the town. See the sites and maybe while you're in there chatting it up with Luke you can mention that you have a niece who may or may not have gotten into some trouble and you want to make things square so she can come back here. Under parental supervision, of course."

He huffed. "I already planned on it."

"I kind of figured you did," she smiled and shoved him towards the other men as she backed away. There was no way she expected him to show any public displays of affection. And that was just fine by her. There would be plenty of time for displays of affection later.

She spent some time looking through the different shops and was even approached by a few other women that seemed friendly enough. She felt kind of odd standing there with them since they all looked so different. Her own clothes were worn and dull and she knew that she looked like a woman that had spent a lot of time on the road. These women looked like the world hadn't ended at all and she felt dingy compared to them. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Michonne and Sasha approaching. She needed to be around her own kind. She excused herself and hurried over.

"Have you seen your room yet?" Sasha asked with a smile.

Carol nodded, since she had stayed here overnight before she already knew what to expect.

"We're hitting the showers. You in?" Michonne asked.

Carol grinned, feeling better already. "I'm in," she said quickly as she followed them to jail.


End file.
